Kingdom of Loathing Spoilers

This text is a compilation of information to guide you through the browser game/MMORPG Kingdom of Loathing (KoL).
The best way to use this guide/FAQ/walkthrough is to use the search function to specifically find what you need.
If there is anything you want to add, change or comment on, please message/kmail KSlayer (#20098) in the game.
Any updates to this file will be posted at http://www.zerokelvin.org/kol.html

Last Update: July 15, 2007 - NS13 quest information updated.
Click here to display previous major updates

Google Ad


  1. -Miscellaneous Tips-
  2. -Quests-
  3. -Familiars-
  4. -Tattoos/Outfits-
  5. -Effects-
  6. -Recipes-
  7. -Trophies-
  8. -Item Locations-
  9. -Skills-
  10. -Ascension Info-
  11. -Credits-

Links to other sources of KoL information. If there is something you can't find on this site, it's probably on one of these:
http://kol.coldfront.net - A solid fansite with a good deal of general information.
http://www.subjunctive.net/kol/FrontPage.html - A lot of good data on KoL, good recipes list.
http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki - KoL wiki. An excellent user updated database of KoL information.
http://www.allthetraffic.com/kol/ - A great recipe reference page.
http://www.lysator.liu.se/~jhs/KoL/effects/ - - Comprehensive item effect data for booze, food other usable items.
http://www.giantmotorsports.com/rares/ - A very interesting site detailing rare items in KoL.
http://kol.thraeryn.org/moons.php - Astrological Predictions. Check the dates of upcoming events.
http://kol.network-forums.com/viewtopic.php?t=218 - Forum post detailing monster HP and XP.
http://www.kingdomofloathing.com - The Kingdom of Loathing web browser game. The reason this file exists.

1) -Miscellaneous Tips-


2) -Quests-

Council of Loathing Quests
  1. Toot Oriole
  2. Distant Woods
  3. Typical Tavern
  4. Boss Bat
  5. Dark And Dank Sinister Cave
  6. King of Cobb's Knob
  7. Deep Fat Friars
  8. The Cyrpt
  9. Mt. McLargeHuge and the L337 Tr4pz0r
  10. Strange Leaflet
  11. Orc Chasm
  12. The Beanstalk
  13. Quest for the Holy MacGuffin
  14. Mysterious Island of Mystery War
  15. Naughty Sorceress
Class Guild Quests
  1. Guild Hall
  2. Bitchin' Meat Car
  3. The White Citadel
  4. Legendary Epic Weapon
  1. The Campground
  2. Tiny Plastic Figurines
  3. Feng Shui
  4. Pagoda (Hey Deze Map)
Maps and misc quests
  1. Dr Hobos Map
  2. The Dolphin Kings Map
  3. The Slug Lords Map
  4. Spooky Temple Map (Hidden Temple)
  5. Giant Castle Map (The Hole In The Sky)
  6. Hey Deze Map (Pagoda)
  7. Pretentious Painter
  8. Untinker's Screwdriver
  9. The Gourd Tower
  10. Tame The Bugbears
  11. Summon a Mushroom Familiar
  12. The Spooky Gravy Barrow
  13. Spanish fly trap
  14. Doc Galaktik
  15. Claudes Cake
  16. Harold's Hammer
  17. Wounded Guard
Events and locations
  1. Halloween
  2. Oyster Egg Day
  3. St. Sneaky Pete's Day
  4. The Feast of Boris
  5. Crimbo Town 2005
  6. Cola Wars
  7. The Airship
  8. 31337 Scroll and the UB3r 31337 HaX0R
  9. The Palindome
  10. The Cake-Shaped Arena
  11. The Daily Dungeon
  12. The Dungeons of Doom
  13. Fernswarthy's Basement
  14. The Haiku Dungeon
  15. Grey Plague
  16. Zombie Plague
  17. Spookyraven Manor
  18. Crimbo 2006

Council Of Loathing Quests:

Toot Oriole:
The first Kingdom of Loathing quest is essentially a tutorial. The Toot Oriole (found in Mt Noob) will tell you to adventure in the Noob Cave until you get a pile of shiny pebbles. Equip your starting equipment and cast your 1MP starting class skill before adventuring in The Dire Warren where you must get a bunny liver. After finding the bunny liver and returning, the Toot Oriole gives you a bowl of oriole's nest soup. Return to The Dire Warren to find 40 meat, which you must then use to purchase chewing gum on a string from The Market. Visit the Sewer in the Market Square and you will fish a worthless trinket out with the chewing gum on a string. Buy a Hermit Permit from the Market, go to The Hermitage, trade the worthless item for the Golden Twig and return to Mt. Noob. Your next task is to combine an Action Figure Body and Head together. Make some meat paste from the miscellaneous category of your inventory, click on "combine stuff", select the Action Figure Body and Head in the drop down menu's and click Combine. Now take the newly created Action Figure to the Toot Oriole to receive Mt. Noob Pale Ale and a Certificate of Participation.

Distant Woods (or Looking for a Larva in All the Wrong Places):
When you reach level two, the council will ask you to go to the Spooky Forest (which is in the newly opened Distant Woods) for mosquito larva. Adventure in the forest until you have some and return to the council for a reward of 500 meat.

Typical Tavern (or Ooh, I Think I Smell a Rat):
You receive this quest when you reach level 3. When you adventure at the Typical Tavern in The Distant Woods, you will be presented with a grid. Under each part of the cellar, you might encounter one of four types of adventures:

Once you turn off the rat faucet, you will receive a Shiny Ring (+3 all stats) and three drinks.
*Baron Von Ratsworth will normally drop Baron Von Ratsworth's monocle. If the Super-Secret Canadian Mind-Control Device is set to two, he drops Baron Von Ratsworth's money clip (+10/15% meat from monsters). If set to 9, he drops Baron Von Ratsworth's tophat (75 power, +5 all stats).

Boss Bat (or Ooh, I Think I Smell a Bat):
Fight in The Bat Hole until you get a Pine Fresh Air Freshner. Equip it and fight in Guano Junction (any item that gives stench resistance allows you to enter the Guano Junction, eg: the asshat). Adventure in Guano Junction until you have three sonar-in-a-biscuits. Every sonar-in-a-biscuit you use will unlock a new area in the Bat Hole, the last one unlocked will be the Boss Bat's Lair. Enter and kill the Boss Bat to get an item, then take that item to the Council Of Loathing to get a Batskin Belt and quest completion. If you set The Super-Secret Canadian Mind-Control Device to setting 4 for the battle with the boss bat, you will get the Boss Bat Britches (65 power, +5 Moxie). If you set it to setting 8, you will get the Boss Bat Bling (accessory, +3 Mus, +3 Mox)

Dark And Dank Sinister Cave:
Enter the Dark And Dank Sinister Cave. Equip a Gnollish Flyswatter (from Degrassi Knoll), to solve the Fly Bend. Have a Cog and a Sprocket in your inventory to open the next door. The Lavatory Troll needs Fairy Gravy, which can be found in the Haiku Dungeon. Equip Knob Goblin Tongs to get through the salad door. The next obstacle needs Ketchup or Catsup so get a worthless item from the sewer (using Chewing Gum on a string) and trade it at the The Hermitage for the Ketchup or Catsup. The final room is combat with your nemesis. Defeating him completes the quest and gives you a hat (50 power and +7 to your main stat).

King of Cobb's Knob (or The Goblin Who Wouldn't Be King):
When you reach level 5, the Council of Loathing will ask you to kill the Goblin King and will open up Cobb's Knob. You will need the Knob Goblin Perfume, Knob Goblin Harem Veil and Knob Goblin Harem Pants from Inside Cobb's Knob. Equip the Veil and Pants, and then use the perfume. This will turn you into a Knob Goblin Harem Girl for one turn. Enter the King's Chamber and defeat him to get the Crown of the Goblin King (70 power, +10 Mus) and two dense meat stacks. Quest complete. If you set The Super-Secret Canadian Mind-Control Device to setting 7 for the battle with the Goblin King, you will get the Cape of the Goblin King (accessory, +7 Mox). If set to 3, you will get the Glass Balls of the Goblin King (accessory, +14 Mys). Not related to this quest but related to this location is the fact that you can equip the Knob Goblin Elite Guard Uniform when visiting the Cobb's Knob Laboratory to get a list of items to buy.

Deep Fat Friars (or Trial By Friar):
Given to you when you hit level 6 and complete the Typical Tavern quest. Head to the Grove Of The Deep Fat Friars in the Distant Woods and speak to the Friars to learn their problem. Head to the Dark Neck Of The Woods and adventure until you get the dodecagram, do the same in The Dark Heart Of The Woods for the Birthday Candles, and in The Dark Elbow Of The Woods to get the Eldrich Butterknife. Head to the taint with all three items to complete the quest and get the Liver Of Steel skill, which allows you to get up to 20 drunkness. If you have ascended and are a Teetotaller, you will get a Stomach of Steel instead, which allows 20 fullness. If you are an Oxygenarian you will get a Spleen of Steel, which allows the consumption of more stat boosting items.

The Cyrpt (or Cyrptic Emanations):
The next quest set by the Council Of Loathing (when you reach level 7) is a simple one. Head to the Crypt in the Nearby Plains. Adventure in the Defiled Areas until you encounter a boss creature. Defeat each of the 4 bosses to complete the 4 areas. Once all four areas are gone, adventure into the Haert Of The Crypt and kill the boss to get two items, now go to the council to get a Dragonbone Belt Buckle. Combine this with the Batskin Belt to get the Badass Belt Accessory (+5 all major stats), use the Chest of the Bonerdagon to get a 150 Boost to each stat and 3,000 meat. If you set The Super-Secret Canadian Mind-Control Device to setting 5 for the battle with the Bonerdagon, you will get the Rib of the Bonerdagon (80 power, +5 Mus, +5 Mys, +15 Spell Damage). If set to 10, you will get the vertebra of the Bonerdagon (which can be made into a Bonerdagon necklace (+5 Mus, +5 Mox, +30% initiative).

Mt. McLargeHuge and the L337 Tr4pz0r (or It's a Trap!):
The council will ask you to visit the L337 Tr4pz0r who is located at Mt. McLargeHuge in The Big Mountains after you reach level 8. He asks for 3 pieces of ore (either asbestos, chrome or linoleum), which available from the newly opened Itznotyerzitz Mine. You will need to wear the Mining Gear (7-Foot Dwarven Mattock, Miner's Pants and Miner's Helmet) from the mine to get the ore. Return to the Trapper and he will smith you an ore item based on your class. Muscle based classes get an asbestos/chrome/linoleum sword, Mysticality classes get an asbestos/chrome/linoleum staff, and Moxie classes get an asbestos/chrome/linoleum crossbow. Next he asks for 6 chunks of goat cheese, which you can find from The Goatlet. Give him the cheese and he will give you three goat cheese pizzas. The Tr4pz0r will now ask you to get the eXtreme Cold-Weather Gear (eXtreme Mittens, eXtreme Scarf and Snowboarder Pants) from The eXtreme Slope. You can either return with the gear, or you can find some other method of getting cold resistance (like an elemental saucephere). He will then take you to the Icy Peak where he will give you five yeti furs and 5,000 Meat. Mt. McLargeHuge is now completely open for adventuring and you can go back to The L33t Tr4pz0r's C4b1n to trade furs.

Strange Leaflet:
The strange leaflet is given to you by the Council Of Loathing when you reach level 9. The leafet is a text based adventure controlled by various commands like: "i, use, read, open, take, cut, light, climb, look at, kill, exit, etc.". To begin the quest, use the leaflet and type the following instructions in order:
  open door, east, take sword, west, north, cut hedge, pick up stick, west, light stick, east, north,
  kill serpent, open chest, look behind chest, look in hole
You should now possess a Frobozz Real-Estate Company Instant House (TM) (campground item, the best dwelling) and a grue egg (a familiar). You can continue the quest with these commands:
  south, south, east, examine fireplace, examine tinder, examine parchment
This will allow you to later memorize a spell which you will be able to use in normal combat.
  light fireplace, take boots, put on boots
At this point type: "
examine fireplace
". There will be one of five objects here. If you see a trophy, take it using "
take trophy
". This allow you to get the Brass Bowling Trophy Trophy. The other four objects have secret words tied to each of them that provide a large stat bonus. The commands are detailed at the end of this section.
 west, south, south, south
You should now be in dense forest. Simply move in any direction about 5 times and you will leave the maze. Note that once inside the maze, you will not be able to return to the previous parts of this adventure.
  climb tree, take egg, look at petunias, throw egg at roadrunner, down, look in leaves, up, throw ruby at petunias
If you have the parchment from inside the house, you can now type: "
gnusto cleesh
" to memorize the cleesh spell from the scroll you just found. This will allow you to cast this spell in combat for 10 MP. The spell turns creatures into a newt, a frog, or a salamander. The transformed creatures drop a eye of newt, a squashed frog or a salamander spleen, respectively. If you want this spell, you must memorize it before using it on the giant or the cleesh scroll will be lost.
  up, cleesh giant, take ring
This will give you the giant pinky ring and end the quest.
There is a secret code that will give you a stat bonus. The code is one of:
xyzzy, plugh, plover, yoho.

Note that you can only try these codes once, so you must get it right the first try. The codes are tied to the items found after examining the fireplace.
plover is tied to finding the bird, plugh the brick wellhouse, yoho the ship and xyzzy the white house.

Orc Chasm (or A Quest, LOL):
Opening up The Valley Beyond The Orc Chasm requires you be level 9 and some running around. You first need to make a Dingy Dinghy (Get the Dingy Planks from the Hermit and the Dinghy Plans from the Shore, then use the plans). The Dinghy will open up the Mysterious Island Of Mystery. Adventure in the Obligatory Pirate's Cove to obtain the Swashbuckling Getup (swashbuckling pants, stuffed shoulder parrot and eyepatch). Dress up in the Swashbuckling Getup once you have all the components and adventure in the Pirates Cove to get the Abridged Dictionary. Go to the Untinkerer in town and have him untinker the Abridged Dictionary into a Bridge and a dictionary. You can now cross the Orc Chasm using the bridge. Use the dictionary against the enemies here, it will deal more damage that a normal attack and has unlimited uses. Fight until you collect two 334 Scrolls, a 33398 Scroll and a 30669 Scroll. You will now need to combine these scrolls by using them in combat agaisnt a Rampaging Adding Machine. Combine the two 334 Scrolls together to get a 668 Scroll, then combine the 30669 and 33398 Scrolls to get a 64067 Scroll. Combine the 64067 scroll with the 668 scroll to finally make the 64735 scroll. Use the 64735 scroll to complete the quest and you will get a Drywall Axe (150 power) as a reward. You can now sell the facsimile dictionary for 21337 meat. As a bonus, you can also make a 31337 Scroll out of a 668 Scroll with a 30669 Scroll.

The Beanstalk (or The Rain on the Plains is Mainly Garbage):
The Council will tell you that garbage is piling up in the Nearby Plains after you attain level 10. Get an enchanted bean from the Beanbat Chamber and use it (This will only work if you have received the quest from the council). It will grow into a enormous beanstalk in the Nearby Plains. Complete The Penultimate Fantasy Airship quest to gain access to The Castle in the Clouds in the Sky. Adventure in the Castle until you encounter the "Wheel in the Clouds in the Sky, Keep On Turning". Turn the wheel so it is no longer the Procrastination Giant's job to take out the trash. Return to the council and they will give you either a giant discarded plastic fork (if a Mys class)(staff, 155 power), a giant discarded bottlecap (if a Mus class) or a giant discarded torn-up glove (if a Mox class). Quest Complete.

Quest for the Holy MacGuffin:
Adventure in The Black Forest till you find the sunken eyes, broken wings and black market map. Combine the sunken eyes and broken wings into a reassembled blackbird and equip it as a familiar. Use the map to open up The Black Market. Purchase the forged identification documents for 5,000 Meat. Go to the Shore and buy a vacation. This will get you your father's MacGuffin diary. Read the diary and flip through all the pages to have the four parts of the Holy MacGuffin added. This will open The Arid, Extra-Dry Desert and give hints for accessing the other areas necessary for this quest.

Pyramid quest:
Adventure in The Arid, Extra-Dry Desert to find the trader gnome, pick the haggle option. Move to the newly opened An Oasis location and become Ultrahydrated (necessary to adventure properly in The Arid, Extra-Dry Desert). Continue adventuring in the Extra-Dry Desert until you get the A Sietch in Time adventure, in which a gnome will ask you to obtain a stone rose from the Oasis. Do so and return. You'll now need to buy a can of black paint from The Black Market and return once more to the Desert. Talk to the gnome and continure adventuring there and you will be asked to find a drum machine. Find one in the Oasis and give it to the gnome, who will ask for 15 manual pages. You can find these in three separate non-combat adventures in the Oasis. Return, then equip the hooks given to you and use the drum machine. This will open The Pyramid.

MacGuffin - Hidden Temple:
Open The Hidden Temple and adventure in it. At the At Least It's Not Full Of Trash non-combat adventure, pick the 'Raise your hands up to the Heavens' option, as indicated in your fathers diary. Continue adventuring until you encounter the Dvorak's Revenge puzzle. Spell out BANANAS in the grid. Adventure again to find the No Visible Means of Support encounter. Select the third option: 'Do Nothing', which opens a new location, The Hidden City.
Adventure in the unexplored ruins to discover:

Once you have entered the temple, you will fight a Protector Spectre (immune to physical attacks). When you defeat it, it drop the ancient amulet and a spectre scepter.

MacGuffin - The Palindome:
Open The Palindome and adventure there until you encounter the three different non-combat adventures that will leave you with the hard rock candy, hard-boiled ostrich egg and photograph of god. You also need a ketchup hound, dropped from one of the monsters. Find the Drawn Onward adventure and place the items in the following order: photograph of god, hard rock candy, ketchup hound and hard-boiled ostrich egg. Once this is done, you will be beaten up and left with "I Love Me, Vol. I". Read it and then head to the Cobb's Knob Laboratory where you will find Mr. Alarm. Adventure in Whitey's Grove to find a bird rib and some lion oil. Cook them to get a wet stew. Find stunt nuts in the Palindome then cook the wet stew with the stunt nuts, resulting in a wet stunt nut stew. Return to the Laboratory. Equip the Mega Gem given to you by Mr. Alarm and return to the Palindome. Pick any of the options to fight Dr. Awkward, who will drop the Staff of Fats and the Drowsy Sword once defeated.

MacGuffin - Spookyraven Manor:
Open the Spookyraven Manor and unlock The Haunted Ballroom. Adventure here until you get the We'll All Be Flat encounter. This opens the cellar of the manor. With Lord Spookyraven's spectacles equipped, enter the cellar. There will be a glyph on the wall, make note of this. Now start collecting bottles of wine by fighting among the Wine Racks. Pay attention to the item descriptions. You will need to find the bottles of wine with symbols matching those on the glyph (these symbols are randomized for each player). Once you have the bottles with the appropriate symbols, pour the bottle matching the top symbol into the goblet, do this again with the bottle matching the left symbol, and then the one on the right. When done in order and consecutively, the Summoning Chamber will open up. You will now be able to fight Lord Spookyraven. Once defeated, he will drop the Eye of Ed and Lord Spookyraven's ear trumpet.

The Ancient Buried Pyramid:
Combine the ancient amulet and Eye of Ed. Combine the newly created headpiece of the Staff of Ed to the Staff of Fats to create the Staff of Ed. Visit the Small Pyramid in The Beach to open The Ancient Buried Pyramid. Once you've entered the Buried Pyramid, adventure in the Upper Chamber until you find the carved wooden wheel, then start adventuring in the Middle chamber until you come to the noncombat adventure Wheel in the Pyramid, Keep on Turning that allows you to place the wheel on a stake and turn it. Tomb ratchets dropped by monsters can also be used in the inventory to turn the wheel. Turn the wheel until the Lower Chamber picture shows a room with a basket in the middle of it to the left of an empty room. Adventure in the Lower Chamber to get an ancient bronze token (you may want to get more than one, just in case). Go back to the Middle Chamber and turn the wheel again until the Lower Chamber shows a picture of a pile of rocks followed by a room with (what looks like) a small vending machine in it. Adventure in the Lower Chamber to get an ancient bomb using your tokens. Go back to the Middle Chamber and turn the wheel again until the Lower Chamber looks like an empty room followed by one filled with a pile of rocks. Adventure again in the Lower Chamber to use the bomb on the pile of rocks and to open the burial chamber. Here you will fight Ed the Undying. You will need to defeat him seven times in order to win the Holy MacGuffin. Return to the Council to receive a handful of confetti as your reward.

Mysterious Island of Mystery War:
Given at level 12, this quest first asks you to begin a war on the island. There are two paths that can be taken for this part of the quest. You can either side with the Orcish Frat Boys or side with the Hippies (You can try both, but it takes longer). You will need to adventure at either the Orcish Frat House to get the Frat Boy Ensemble (Orcish baseball cap, Homoerotic frat-paddle, and Orcish cargo shorts) or the Hippy Camp to get the Filthy Hippy Disguise (filthy knitted dread sack, filthy corduroys). Equip either set and adventure at the associated sides area until you have the Frat Warrior Fatigues (beer helmet, distressed denim pants, bejeweled pledge pin) or the War Hippy Fatigues (reinforced beaded headband, bullet-proof corduroys, round purple sunglasses).
Once you have the Frat Warrior Fatigues, adventure at the Hippy Camp until you come across the 'Blockin' Out the Scenery' non-combat adventure. Pick 'The Lookout Tower' to start the war and open up several new areas to adventure in. Alternately, once you have the War Hippy Fatigues adventure at the Orcish Frat House until you come across the 'Fratacombs' non-combat adventure. Pick 'Screw this, head to the roof' to start the war and open up several new areas to adventure in.
The council now wants you to stop the war. You need to kill all of the hippies and/or frat boys in the battlefield, in addition to a final boss to end the war. There are 1001 enemies on each side of the battlefield. For each sidequest you complete, the number of enemies destroyed per fight doubles.

Mysterious Island Arena:
Adventure here as either a Frat Warrior or a Hippy to receive either the rock band flyers or jam band flyers. Use the flyer against monsters in combat. The higher the level of monster, the less flyers you will need to distribute. When you have distributed enough flyers, you can return to the Arena to get various temporary status effects.

The Junkyard:
Speak to Yossarian in The Junkyard to get a molybdenum magnet. Talk to him again and he will give you a location in the Junkyard in which you will need to adventure to find a molybdenum tool. Fight gremlins here and watch their attack messages. Once they mention a tool in the attack message, use the molybdenum magnet against them to steal the tool and end combat. Return to Yossarian after finding each tool. Once all the tools have been found (four in total) you will recieve one of the following items. If a Frat Warrior: a rusty chain necklace, a sawblade shield, or a wrench bracelet. If a Hippy Warrior: a spark plug earring, a gearbox necklace, or a woven baling wire bracelet.

The Organic Orchard:
Adventure in The Hatching Chamber to find the filthworm hatchling scent gland. Use it to be able to access The Feeding Chamber. Adventure here to find the filthworm drone scent gland, which opens The Guards' Chamber, where you can find the filthworm royal guard scent gland, which opens The Filthworm Queen's Chamber, where you can fight the queen filthworm to get the heart of the filthworm queen. Bring the heart to the Organic Produce Stand to open it back up. You can now return to the stand to get 4000-5000 meat, which respawns every turnover.

McMillicancuddy's Farm:
Talk to Farmer McMillicancuddy in McMillicancuddy's Farmhouse to begin the quest. Adventure in the Barn until you find a non-combat adventure which will open up other areas in which to kills ducks. There are three noncombat adventures in total. Each new area opened must be cleansed of ducks. Once all the ducks have been eliminated, return to McMillicancuddy

Our Lady of Perpetual Indecision:
Talk to the nuns to learn that you will need to recover 100,000 meat from the dirty thieving brigands in The Themthar Hills. Adventure in the hills to collect the meat. Items/skills/familiars that increase meat drops will come in handy here. Once you've recovered all the meat, you will be able to restore 1000 HP for free three times a day (if completed as a Hippy Warrior) or 1000 HP and 1000 MP (if completed as a Frat Warrior).

The Lighthouse:
Talk to the Lighthouse Keeper to begin the sidequest to find five barrels of gunpowder. Adventure at Sonofa Beach to collect these barrels. It may take a while, as combat adventures where the barrels drop are rare. Combat Frequency boosters can help here. Return to the lighthouse once you have 5 barrels. From now on, you will be able to collect three free explosives from the lighthouse every day.

Once you've destroyed the army of a side, you can fight it's end boss.
The Big Wisniewski is the leader of the Hippy side and drops a solid gold bowling ball when defeated. Killing him turns the Hippy Camp into 'The Hippy Camp (Bombed Back to the Stone Age)'.
The Man is the leader of the Frat side and drops a really dense meat stack when defeated. Killing him turns The Orcish Frat House into 'The Orcish Frat House (Bombed Back to the Stone Age)'.

Naughty Sorceress (The Final Ultimate Epic Final Conflict):
When you reach level 13 and have completed all previous council quests, the Council of Loathing will open up the final area: The Lair of the Naughty Sorceress.
To get past the first gate you must use a Tasty Fun Good Rice Candy (found in The Valley Beyond The Orc Chasm) to get a Sugar Rush. For the next gate, you must use a wussiness potion (from The Deep Fat Friars' Gate), and for the last gate, you need a Thin Black Candle (Goth Giants in the Giant Castle drop it).

The next location is The Huge Mirror. To get past the mirror, you must "show your true self" by taking all your gear off, including any items equipped on your familiar. Visiting the mirror again will shatter it, leaving you with a huge mirror shard.

To pass the Perplexing Door, you will need several keys:
KeyWhere to find keySolution to testReward
Boris Key end of the Daily Dungeon "fish" Fish Bowl
Jarlsberg Key end of the Daily Dungeon "phish" fishtank
Sneaky Pete Key end of the Daily Dungeon "fsh" fish hose
Skeleton Key combine Skeleton Bone and Loose Teeth bring a ten-leaf clover stone tablet (Really Evil Rhythm)
Richard's Star Key using a Star Chart and entering 8 stars and 7 lines equip a star hat and a star weapon (star crossbow, sword or staff), and have a star starfish as your familiar stone tablet (Sinister Strumming)
Digital Key give the Crackpot Mysic 30 white pixels enter "up up down down left right left right b a" stone tablet (Squeezings of Woe)
Balloon Monkey* combine four long skinny balloons N/A Easter Egg balloon (+5 all major stats)
*Note that the Balloon Monkey is a bonus and is not required to pass this section.

To pass the Perplexing Odor, you must combine the Fish Hose with a Fish Bowl, and then combine the Hosed Fisbowl with fishtank to get the Makeshift SCUBA Gear. Equip the gear and revisit the odor to partially activate the Stone Mariachis.

To pass The Stone Mariachis you need: 1) an acoustic guitarrr or a stone banjo/Disco banjo, 2) a stolen accordion or a Rock and Roll Legend, and 3) a bone rattle or a tambourine. You only need one item for each Mariachi. Completing the Stone Mariachis will open up a new area to adventure in - The Hedge Maze.
Mariachi Item required (one of)Where to acquire item
1st acoustic guitarrrFound in the Obligatory Pirates Cove
heavy metal thunderrr guitarrrCombine an acoustic guitarrr with chrome ore
Disco BanjoCombine a stone banjo and a disco ball
stone banjoCombine a big rock and banjo strings
2nd stolen accordionFound in the sewer
Rock and Roll Legend Combine heart of rock and roll and stolen accordion
3rd bone rattleCombine a Skeleton Bone and a broken skull
tambourineCombine tambourine bells and a Gnollish Pie Tin

In The Hedge Maze, battle until a monster drops a hedge maze puzzle. In the puzzle, create a path to the key and adventure in the Maze again. You will get a hedge maze key. Now create a path out of the Maze in the puzzle and reenter the Maze. The Sorceress' Tower is now open.

The Sorceress' Tower is a series of six enemies undefeatable by normal combat; you must use special items to kill them. The order of the enemies is randomly generated and will be different for each player. Here are the solutions:
EnemyItem used to defeat enemy Where to get the item
Beer BatterbaseballGuano Junction
Best-Selling Novelistplot holeThe Castle in the Clouds in the Sky
Big Meat Golemmeat vortexThe Valley Beyond The Orc Chasm
Bowling Cricketsonar-in-a-biscuitGuano Junction
Bronze Chefleftovers of indeterminate origin The Haunted Kitchen
Collapsed Mineshaft Golemstick of dynamiteDistant Lands Dude Ranch Adventure
concert pianistKnob Goblin firecrackerOutskirts of Cobb's Knob
DarknessinkwellHaunted Library
El Diablomariachi G-stringSouth of The Border
Electron Submarinephotoprotoneutron torpedoThe Penultimate Fantasy Airship
Endangered Inflatable White Tiger pygmy blowgunThe Hidden City
Enraged Cowbarbed-wire fenceLarge Donkey Mountain Ski Resort (Shore)
Fancy Bath Slugfancy bath saltsThe Haunted Bathroom
Fickle Finger of F8razor-sharp can lidThe Haunted Pantry
Flaming Samuraifrigid ninja starsThe Lair of the Ninja Snowmen
Giant Beetropical orchidTropical Paradise Island Getaway
Giant Fried Eggblack pepperUsing a black picnic basket
Giant Desktop GlobeNGCombine Lowercase N and Original G
Ice Cubecan of hair sprayBuy from The Demon Market
malevolent crop circlebronzed locustThe Arid, Extra-Dry Desert
Possessed Pipe-Organpowdered organsUse a canopic jar
Pretty Flyspider webThe Sleazy Back Alley
Tyrannosaurus Texchaos butterflyThe Castle In The Clouds In The Sky
Vicious EaseldiseaseThe "Fun" House

Next is a number logic puzzle unique for each player. The heavy door is locked with a 3 digit code you must get by solving the puzzle given by the light door. There does not seem to be a universal solution to this other than working it out yourself. Here is a good, if slightly long, guide that can help you through the puzzle.
Alternately, if you want an immediate solution, either Alpaca's Door Code Solver or MaxDemian's Door Code Generator will provide it.

Have the huge mirror shard equipped to deflect the energy beam.

Next is your shadow opponent. It is impervious to normal attacks. All you can do is heal, which is the key to this fight. Red pixel potions are the best healing item in the game and are extremely useful here. Using four red pixel potions during the battle should do the trick.

You now face two of the sorceress's giant familiars. You will need one of your familiars to act as an "anti-familiar" to fight against hers. Your familiar must be at least 20 pounds (including any buffs and equipment) to win the fight.
To beat theUse the
Angry GoatMosquito
MosquitoSabre-Toothed Lime
Sabre-Toothed Lime Levitating Potato
Levitating PotatoBarrrnacle
BarrrnacleAngry Goat

Finally you will face The Naughty Sorceress in combat. She will remove all yours buffs before fighting so don't bother buffing yourself up. She has three stages. The first two stages are normal combat except for the fact that she can block your actions some of the time. How often she blocks you actions depends on how many times you have fought her. The more you fight her, the less she blocks actions and the easier she is. Her final stage requires that a Wand of Nagamar be equipped. To create a Wand of Nagamar, combine WA (Ruby W and Metallic A) and ND (Lowercase N and Heavy D) together. Her damage to you in battle is determined by your moxie. Low moxie weakens her attack. The seal clubber skills Thrust-Smack and Double-Fisted Skull Smashing are both very useful against the NS.

Good items to use in the battle are Furry Suit (reduce her strength in combat) or the Star Garb (make yourself as powerful as possible). Any damage dealing accessories help greatly here. Flaming talons, a kickback cookbook, enchanted toothpicks, enchanted brass knuckles, or an acid-squirting flower are all good picks. Damage absorbing items do not work against her. Some good combat items to use in battle are cola grenades, throwing stars, photoprotoneutron torpedos, and plot holes. The Disco Bandit skill Ambidextrous Funkslinging is very useful when using combat items.

A Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot is probably the most effective familiar to use, as it can damage, heal and delay the NS. A Ghost Pickle on a Stick is effective in combat. It will both damage and slow the Sorceress. Dodecapedes are also excellent damage dealers.

Once you have defeated her, click on the kings prison to free him. You may now Ascend by clicking on the rift.

Other Quests:

Dr. Hobo's map:
Dr. Hobo's Map is found in the Outskirts Of Cobb's Knob. You need an Asparagus Knife (from the Haunted Pantry), and must have a Cool Whip (bought from the Market) equipped. Use the map to complete the quest and get Dr. Hobo's scalpel (35 power, +3 damage).

The Dolphin Kings Map:
This map is found in the Haunted Pantry. Equip a Snorkel bought from The Armory and Leggery and use the Dolphin King's Map to complete the quest and receive 150 meat and the Dolphin King's crown (35 power, +2 all stats) as a reward.

The Slug Lords Map:
This map is found in the Sleazy Back Alley on The Wrong Side of the Tracks. Equip any item that provides Stench Resistance (the asshat or the Pine Fresh Air Freshner from the Entryway of the Bat Hole is one) and then use the map to complete the quest, you will get Pants Of The Slug Lord (35 power, so-so stench resistance) as a reward.

Hidden Temple:
Adventuring in the Spooky Forest will eventually yield a Spooky Temple Map, a Spooky Sapling and some Spooky-Gro fertilizer. Use the Spooky Temple Map with all three items in your inventory to open the Hidden Temple.

Pretentious Painter's paint, palette, and paintbrush (or Suffering For His Art):
The painter is on The Wrong Side Of The Tracks in The Dirt-Walled Hovel of The Pretentious Artist. He wants you to find his Pretentious Paint (located in the Sleazy Back Alley), pretentious paintbrush (found in Outskirts Of Cobb's Knob) and pretentious palette (in the Haunted Pantry). Once you have the items, take them back to the painter to unlock the ability to get tattoos. You will also get a starter tattoo. See the tattoo section on how to get the rest of the tattoos. Once you complete his quest, you will get to keep the pail (30 power helmet) and he will buy rat whiskers from you for 50 meat each.

Untinker's Screwdriver (or Driven Crazy):
The untinkerer is located on the Right Side Of The Tracks. You must find his Rusty Screwdriver (in the Degrassi Knoll). If you have ascended under a muscle sign, Innabox will give you the screwdriver instead. Upon completion of the quest, the untinkerer will disassemble items for you.

The Gourd Tower:
Found in The Right Side of the Tracks, The Captain of the Gourd wants 5 firecrackers (found in The Outskirts of Cobb's Knob) if you are a Seal Clubber/Turtle Tamer. If you are a Pastamancer/Sauceror, he will want 5 Razor-Sharp Can Lids (from the Haunted Pantry). And if you are a Disco Bandit/Accordian Thief, he will want Spider Webs (from The Sleazy Back Alley). When you bring the 5 items back, you will receive a gourd potion (which increases your primary substat by around 35). This quest can be repeated, but the number of item you need to bring back increases by one each time you complete the quest. After you retrieve the 25th item in this quest, The Captain will tell you the gourd tower is safe and will stop giving the quest.

The Airship:
When you have planted a Beanstalk and reached level 10, you can adventure in the The Penultimate Fantasy Airship. Fight here until you collect the four Immaterias and get a S.O.C.K and a Giant Castle Map. The Castle in the Clouds in the Sky is now open for adventuring.

Giant Castle Map:
Collect a Furry Fur, a Giant Needle and an Awful Poetry Journal from The Castle in the Clouds in the Sky. Make sure it is the Procrastination Giant's turn to guard the Castle's back door (rotate the wheel in The Castle in the Clouds in the Sky to achieve this). Use the Giant Castle Map to complete the quest and get the Quantum Egg. Combine the Egg with the S.O.C.K to get the Intergalactic Rowboat, which opens the The Hole In The Sky for adventuring.

31337 Scroll and the UB3r 31337 HaX0R:
Feed two 334 scrolls (from the Orc Chasm) into a Rampaging Adding Machine to get a 668 Scroll. Combine the newly made 668 Scroll with a 30669 Scroll (also from the Orc Chasm) to make a 31337 Scroll. Use the 31337 Scroll to summon the UB3r 31337 HaX0R who gives you a stat script (which increases each substat by ~150) and a Hermit Script (which eliminates the need for Hermit Permits). If you try to make and use another 31337 scroll, you will only get 3-5 worthless gewgaws/trinkets/knickknacks.

Feng Shui:
Adventure in the The Hippy Camp on The Mysterious Island of Mystery until you have the Feng Shui For Big Dumb Idiots, the Decorative Fountain and the Windchimes. Then just use the Feng Shui For Big Dumb Idiots to complete the quest. Really Good Feng Shui increases the amount of MP you recover when you rest in your campground by 7. It also weakens the Mysticality of attackers in PvP.

The Palindome:
Combine two snakehead charrrms (found in The Obligatory Pirate's Cove) to form a Talisman O'Nam. You must have the Talisman equipped to access the Palindome, which is located in The Nearby Plains.

Hey Deze Map/Pagoda:
Collect a Drab Sonata, Ketchup Hound, Guitar Pick and Elf Farm Raffle Ticket by adventuring in The Palindome. Get an acoustic guitarrr from the Obligatory Pirate's Cove, a Hey Deze Map from the Friar's Gate, and two Chrome Ores from the Mine. You will also need a Ten-Leaf Clover from the Hermit. Use the Elf Farm Raffle Ticket to get the Pagoda Plans (this will use up the ten-leaf clover). Combine a Chrome Ore with the acoustic guitarrr to get a Heavy Metal Thunderrr Guitarrr, then combine the other Chrome Ore with the Drab Sonata to make a Heavy Metal Sonata. Now use the Hey Deze Map to get Hey Deze Nuts. Finally, use the Ketchup Hound. You now have a Pagoda in your campground. It will double the amount of HP and MP you recover when resting and also provide 3 extra adventures a day. Completing this quest also unlocks the Palindrophy trophy.

The Daily Dungeon:
The Daily Dungeon is found in the Dungeon Full of Dungeons in town. It is randomized every day, but is always 10 rooms long and always has a boris/jarlsberg/sneaky pete related item as a reward in the 10th room. You will often fight normal monsters, but other obstacles exist. Locked Doors may be opened one of three ways: Lockpick it with the Pick-O-Matic lockpicks, use a key (consumes a key, but does not cost a turn), or bash it down (can damage you). Other obstacles with test your stats, if the appropriate stat is high enough, you pass the room. The last kind of obstacle is the rooms that tests resistance to environmental effects. Examples of this room are the Hot Floor, Giant Creepy Floating Skull, Sewage Moat or open refrigerator. Equip items that provide resistance to these effects, or get an Elemental Saucesphere cast on yourself to pass these rooms.

The Dungeons of Doom:
Adventure at The Enormous Greater-Than Sign in The Dungeon Full of Dungeons until you have a plus sign in your possession and are affected by Teleportitis. Continue adventuring until you encounter an oracle and take a Greater Consultation. The oracle will tell you to read the plus sign. Do it, and The Enormous Greater-Than Sign will become to stairs to The Dungeons of Doom.

Once you unlock the Dungeons of Doom, you have a chance to get a wand at the Izchak's Lighting Store adventure. A wand will allow you to "zap" most items in the game, converting them into similar items. The encounter will ask you if you want a magic lamp or a cloak. Buy the cloak for 5000 meat. This will start a battle with a mimic. Defeat the mimic and it will drop a dead mimic. Use the dead mimic to get a wand. You will get either an aluminum, marble, hexagonal, ebony, pine, or horizontal wand. The name does not matter. A wand will last for 1-4 zaps (in a day) before it explodes, destroying the wand and slightly damaging the user. If you only use the wand once a day, the wand will last forever. You can only have one wand per ascension.
Here is a list of what items can be zapped:

 Boris's key, Boris's ring, Jarlsberg's earring, Jarlsberg's key, Sneaky Pete's breath spray, Sneaky Pete's key
 pr0n chow mein, Knob sausage chow mein, bat wing chow mein
 components for outfits
 30669 scroll, 33398 scroll, 334 scroll
 worthless gewgaw, worthless knick-knack, worthless trinket
 Changes booze into other booze of equivalent strength
 Changes food into other food of equivalent strength
 White picket fence, Barbed wire fence
 ruby W, heavy D, Metallic A, Lowercase N, Original G
 baconstone, hamethyst, porquoise
 chrome ore, linoleum ore, aesbestos ore
 cog, spring, sprocket
 Knob mushroom, Knoll mushroom, spooky mushroom
 spider web, razor-sharp can lid, Knob Goblin firecracker
 Decorative Fountain, Feng Shui For Big Dumb Idiots, Windchimes
 Penguin skin, Yak skin, Hippo skin
 Tiny Plastic Commons
 Tiny Plastic Uncommons
 Tiny Plastic Rares
 Wolf Masks, Furry Pants
 cornuthaum, vorpal blade
 black pixel, blue pixel, green pixel, red pixel, white pixel
 jug-o-magicalness, suntan lotion of moxiousness, etc.
 ring of aggravate monster, ring of adornment, ring of cold resistance, ring of conflict, ring of fire resistance, ring of gain strength, ring of increase damage
 seal tooth, disco ball, etc.
 hemp bracelet, necklace chain, piercing post, ring setting
 green-frosted astral cupcake, pink, blue, orange, purle

Fernswarthy's Basement:
Fernswarthy's Basement is found in the Dungeon Full of Dungeons in town. It is an endless dungeon that allows you to pick a stat to boost every 5 rooms. Every level checks your stats to see if you have enough muscle/moxie/mysticality to advance to the next level. You can advance farther that you normally could by using food/equipment that temporarily boosts stats. Items like the potion of temporary gr8ness are excellent for this.

The Haiku Dungeon challenge:
While adventuring in The Haiku Dungeon, you will eventually come across a unique encounter that will ask you three questions. The key is knowing how a Haiku is structured: three lines with 5, 7 and 5 syllables. So for the first part, select an option that has 5 syllables in the sentence. For the second select 7, then one with 5 again. Get it correct and the chat channel "/haiku" will open up for you. You have completed the Most Extreme Haiku Dungeon Challenge.

The Cake-Shaped Arena:
A place where your familiar can fight to gain exp (every battle) and items (every ten battles). There are 4 events. The amount of experience you win in an event depends on how close you beat your opponent by. Narrowly defeating your opponent gets you 5 exp whereas crushing your enemy may only give you 1-2 exp. The events are as follows:
  Ultimate Cage Match - The Baby Gravy Fairy, Barrrnacle, Blood-Faced Volleyball, Levitating Potato and Hovering Sombrero are weak in this event.
  Scavenger Hunt - The Angry Goat, Grue, Sabre-Toothed Lime and MagiMechTech MicroMechaMech are weak at this event.
  Obstacle Course - The Cocoabo, Ghuol Whelp, Leprechaun, Ghost Pickle and Clockwork grapefruit are weak at this event
  Hide And Seek - The Howling Balloon Monkey, Killer Bee, Mosquito, Spooky Pirate Skeleton, Stab Bat, Star Starfish, Hovering Sombrero and Whirling Maple Leaf are weak at this event.
You can get more arena info here: http://www.subjunctive.net/kol/ArenaMechanics.html
Xylpher's KoL Familiar Tool will show you the best usage of the arena for your familiar.

Halloween Special Event:
Wear different costumes Trick-or-Treating to receive candy. As you adventure, you get one of four generic items (available to all of the costumes) or a costume-specific item. You can get this event on "Porktober 8th" or on Halloween.
The next time the Halloween even will occur is on September 20, 2006.
The four generic adventures that you can encounter with any outfit:
 A Suspicious Looking Guy       = Rock Pops
 Susie, The Arena Mistress      = Yummy Tummy bean (3)
 The Apathetic Lizardman        = Mr. Mediocrebar
 The Market Demon               = 2-5 Meat

The outfit specific treats:
 8-bit finery           	= Pixellated Candy Heart
 Arboreal Raiment		= sugar-coated pine cone 
 Bow Tux			= candy cane
 Bugbear Disguise       	= cog, spring, and a sprocket
 Cloaca Uniform			= Dyspepsi grenade
 Clockwork Apparatus		= Sugar Cog
 Crimbo Duds            	= fruitcake
 Dyspepsi Uniform		= Cloaca grenade
 eXtreme Cold Weather Gear 	= Wint-O-Fresh mint (2)
 Frat Boy               	= Any of the four bottled boozes
 Furry Suit                 	= Tasty Fun Good rice candy
 Filthy Hippy Disguise  	= herb brownies
 Gnauga Hides			= Gummi-Gnauga
 Hot and Cold Ninja Running Suit = Cold Hots candy
 Knob Goblin Elite Guard 	= Knob Goblin steroids
 Knob Goblin Harem Girl 	= Knob Goblin love potion
 Mining Outfit          	= dwarf bread
 OK Lumberjack Outfit		= maple syrup
 Radio Free Regalia		= (Gives nothing)
 Star Garb              	= Senior Mints
 Swashbuckling Getup    	= bottle of rum
 Time Trappings			= Now and Earlier
 Yendorian Finery       	= candied kobold

The Campground:
The following is a list of objects that can be in your campsite. Information on how to acquire these can be found in the rest of the guide.
 Tent/Cottage/House     - Rest here to regain HP. Increases Muscle when attacked. The better the dwelling, the stronger the effect.
 Really good Feng Shui  - Increase MP when you rest. Lower Mysticality of PvP opponents that attack.
 Pagoda                 - Double HP and MP restored when you rest. Gives 3 extra adventures a day.
 Colossal Closet        - Store objects here.
 Beanbag Chair          - Restore MP.
 Cheap Toaster          - Use to get "toast". Can be used 3 times a day.
 Evil Golden Arches     - Use to get evil food. Can be used only once a day.
 Trophy Case            - Store your trophies.
 Kingdom of Loathing Certificate of Participation - Reward for completing the Toot Oriole quest.
 Bartender-in-the-box   - Removes the adventure cost from mixing items.
 Chef-in-the-box        - Removes the adventure cost from cooking items.
 Familiar-Gro™ Terrarium - Required for familiars. Purchased from The Market.
 Meat Locker            - Protects from meat theft in PvP combat.
 Meat Maid              - +4 adventures every day.
 Clockwork Maid		- +8 adventures per day. Replaces the meat maid. Must be supertinkered
 Spooky Scarecrow       - Reduce Muscle of attackers in PvP.
 Meat Golem             - Reduces item theft in PvP combat.
 Magical Mystical Hippy Stone - Break to enable PvP.
 Bouquet of Pretty flowers (up to nine) - Reduces Moxie of attackers in PvP.
 White picket fence     - Reduce attackers Mysticality and slightly increase MP regeneration when resting. You can have up to 9.
 Barbed wire fence      - Damages attackers in PvP. You can have up to 9 of these.

Tiny Plastic Figurines:
List of plastic figurines you can collect. You get Series 1 by eating Lucky Surprise Eggs (cook a cocoa egg with a ten-leaf clover). Series 1C was from the Crimbo '05 advent calendar. They are equipable as accessories. The letters C, U and R designate Common, Uncommon and Rare.
NameEffect when equiped
 Series 1
tiny plastic disco bandit (1/32, U) (+2 moxie, +1 muscle)
tiny plastic accordion thief (2/32, U) (+2 moxie, +1 mysticality)
tiny plastic turtle tamer (3/32, U) (+2 muscle, +1 mysticality)
tiny plastic seal clubber (4/32, U) (+2 muscle, +1 moxie)
tiny plastic pastamancer (5/32, U) (+2 mysticality, +1 muscle)
tiny plastic sauceror (6/32, U) (+2 mysticality, +1 moxie)
tiny plastic mosquito (7/32, C) (+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic leprechaun (8/32, C) (+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic levitating potato (9/32, C) (+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic angry goat (10/32, C) (+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic sabre-toothed lime (11/32, C) (+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic fuzzy dice (12/32, C) (+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic spooky pirate skeleton (13/32, C) (+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic barrrnacle (14/32, C) (+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic howling balloon monkey (15/32, C) (+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic stab bat (16/32, C) (+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic grue (17/32, C) (+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic blood-faced volleyball (18/32, C) (+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic ghuol whelp (19/32, C) (+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic baby gravy fairy (20/32, C) (+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic cocoabo (21/32, C) (+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic star starfish (22/32, C) (+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic ghost pickle on a stick (23/32, C) (+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic killer bee (24/32, C) (+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic Cheshire bat (25/32, C) (+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic coffee pixie (26/32, C) (+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic bitchin' meat car (27/32, U) (+1 Adventure per day)
tiny plastic hermit (28/32, U) (+6% Meat from Monsters)
tiny plastic Boris (29/32, R) (+5 muscle, +3 mysticality, +3 moxie)
tiny plastic Jarlsberg (30/32, R) (+5 mysticality, +3 muscle, +3 moxie)
tiny plastic Sneaky Pete (31/32, R) (+5 moxie, +3 muscle, +3 mysticality)
tiny plastic Susie (32/32, R) (+5 all attributes)
 Series 1C
tiny plastic Crimbo elf (1/5, C) (+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic sweet nutcracker (2/5, C) (+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic Crimbo reindeer (3/5, C) (+1 Adventure per day)
tiny plastic Crimbo wreath (4/5, U) (Regenerate 1-2 MP per adventure)
tiny plastic Uncle Crimbo (5/5, U) (+1 all stats)

Tame The Bugbears (or A Bugbear of a Problem):
This quest is given by Mayor Zapruder on the inside of Degrassi Knoll, which can only be accessed if you have ascended and picked a muscle sign. You need at least 13 points in your primary stat to begin this quest. The quest requires you to adventure in The Bugbear Pens until you encounter and defeat the Annoying Gravy Fairy. Return the annoying pitchfork to Mayor Zapruder to complete the quest. You will get to keep the annoying pitchfork (+5 to Monster Level) as a reward. Completing this quest will open up the Summon a Mushroom Familiar quest.

Summon a Mushroom Familiar:
This quest is given by Mayor Zapruder on the inside of Degrassi Knoll, which can only be accessed if you have ascended and picked a muscle sign. The quest involves growing special mushrooms (either a warm mushroom, a frozen mushroom or a pointy mushroom) from the normal mushrooms (Knobb, Knoll and Spooky). You will need to purchase a Mushroom Patch in the Degrassi Knoll Mushroom Fields for 5,000 Meat to complete this quest.

Some points to keep in mind:
Mating theseProduces these
Knob and Knollcool
spooky and Knobwarm
spooky and Knollpointy
cool and pointyfrozen
cool and warmstinky
warm and pointyflaming

Example One
The simple method for breeding the mushrooms necessary is as follows, using frozen mushrooms as a goal.
The bold text represents mature, grown mushrooms. The normal text represents spores.
Day 1Day 2Day 3
Day 4Day 5Day 6

Example Two
This plot produces more output, but requires more attention. It will produce 4 flaming mushrooms, 2 cool mushrooms, 2 frozen mushrooms, and 2 stinky mushrooms. For this to work properly, you must remove the two cool mushrooms indicated with *'s on the fourth day. The bold text represents mature, grown mushrooms. The normal text represents spores.
Day 1Day 2Day 3
spooky knoll 
 knoll spooky
spooky knoll 
 knoll spooky
 pointy cool
warm cool 
 cool warm
cool pointy 
Day 4Day 5Day 6
 pointy cool
warm *cool* 
 *cool* warm
cool pointy 
flaming frozen 
 flaming stinky
stinky flaming 
 frozen flaming
flaming frozen 
 flaming stinky
stinky flaming 
 frozen flaming

You will receive a familiar whose type will be based on the type of mushroom you had to grow as a quest reward. The new area The Spooky Gravy Barrow will also be unlocked.

The Spooky Gravy Barrow:
Mayor Zapruder's third quest requires you to clear out The Spooky Gravy Barrow (you must have a gravy fairy familiar from the previous quest equipped to access this area). Adventure here until you find an inexplicably glowing rock. The rock will allow you to enter the cave. Your next obstacle is a door. Find the spooky fairy gravy and small leather glove then cook these two together to obtain a spooky glove. Equipping the glove allows you to open the door. Finally, defeat Felonia, Queen of the Spooky Gravy Fairies in combat. She will drop a spooky cosmetics bag and a spooky bicycle chain. Return to Mayor Zapruder to obtain 6 mushroom fermenting solutions. Quest Complete.

Grey Plague:
As of November 6, 2005, this quest is no longer available in the game.
On Columbus Day (October 12, 2005), Cristobal Colon (#1492) started distributing comfy blankets. This new item made resting more effective, but had the side effect of giving users the "Grey Plague". Symptoms include coughing, shuddering, and having grey text in chat. The longer you have the plague, the worse the symptoms. It is thought that messaging other players will sometimes spread the disease to them.

To cure the plague, acquire either a blood flower (from the Icy Peak), a plastic passion fruit (from the Lemon Party Slot), or a lovecat tail (found in a questionable taco obtained from South of the Border). Bringing any one of these items to Doc Galaktik's Medicine Show in town will get you Doc's Miracle Cure, which removes the disease from your system. The Suspicious-Looking Guy in the Wrong Side of the Tracks will give you a pair of rose-colored glasses, which will make you appear healthy to yourself, but not actually cure you.

Cola Wars:
This area is only accessible to characters of level 4 and 5. Enter the Temporal Rift in the plains to access The Nearby Plains in the Distant Past. A new area "A Battlefield" becomes available to fight at. The other locations are just for show and have no effect.

Possible encounters in The Cola Wars Battlefield: Once you get the two new outfits, you can get these items adventuring at the battlefield:
Cola Wars Battlefield (Wearing the Cloaca Uniform): Cola Wars Battlefield (Wearing the Dyspepsi Uniform):
Note that if you were present at the time of this event (Oct 27, 05), you got a petrified time. This is the only known way of getting this item (except trading with other players).
The Dyspepsi-Cola-issue canteen improves MP recovery from carbonated drinks.
The Cloaca-Cola-issue combat knife (30 power) restores MP when you do damage with it.

Zombie Plague:
This location no longer in the game.
Yet another temporal rift has opened up, this time in the Council of Loathing. Enter the rift and adventure in town. Zombie variations of normal monsters appear here (with the same stats and drops) who will sometimes drop a zombie pineal gland. To complete the quest, take the zombie pineal glands to Doc Galaktik. He will convert the zombie pineal glands into loaded serum blowguns, which you can use to permanently cure yourself or others against the Gray Plague. After using a blowgun, you get an empty blowgun.

The Feast of Boris:
On "Boozember 7", your maximum fullness is temporarily raised by 15, effectively doubling the amount of food you can eat in a day. Cranberries also become more effective. Any consumable made with cranberries will give more adventures than usual. New monsters also randomly appear around the kingdom. They drop these items: candied yams, herbal stuffing, tofurkey leg, tofurkey gravy, can-shaped gelatinous cranberry sauce.
You will also be able to get the Three-Tiered Trophy on this day by eating a three-tiered wedding cake.
The next Feast of Boris will occur on September 27, 2006

Crimbo Town 2005:
This location only available during Christmas.
Accessible from The Big Mountains, Crimbo Town has three locations to visit: Uncle Crimbo's Mobile Home, where you can make toys, The Crimbo cafe, which sells food and drink, and the Crimbo Town Toy Factory, where you can fight striking elves. The difficulty of the elves scales with your skills. The more Muscle and Moxie you have, the tougher the fights are.
Items dropped: felt, googly eye, length of string, stuffing, toy wheel, wooden block

Items that can be made by Uncle Crimbo:
  Top (1 Block + 1 Wheel) - combat item, confuses enemies
  Rag Doll (2 Eyes + 3 Stuffing + 2 Felt) +3 Muscle when equipped as an "Off hand item"
  Kite (1 String + 1 Felt) - combat item, delays enemy turn
  marionette (2 Strings + 2 Eyes + 2 Blocks) +3 Mysticality when equipped as an "Off hand item"
  ball (1 Stuffing + 1 Felt) - combat item, makes you retreat when used
  sock monkey (2 Eyes + 3 Stuffing + 1 Felt) +3 Moxie when equipped as an "Off hand item"
  stuffed doppelshifter (1 Eye + 1 Stuffing) - combat item, has various combat effects
  duck-on-a-string (1 String + 2 Eyes + 2 Blocks + 2 Wheels) - 100 power 1-handed weapon, +5 damage, +5% Item Drops
  pet rock (1 Eye + 1 Block) - familiar, sits motionless
  toy train (2 Strings + 3 Blocks + 6 Wheels) - accessory, +10% dropped meat
  yo-yo (1 String + 1 Wheel) - combat item
  teddy bear: (2 eyes + 4 stuffing + 2 felt) - familiar
  toy soldier (2 Eyes + 3 Blocks) - combat item
  doll house (4 Blocks + 3 Felts) - gives 3-4 tiny plastic figures

Zapping the yo-yo turns it into a sleeping snowy owl. None of the other items can be zapped at this time.

Eventually, a Unionize The Elves sign (1h club, 50 power) will drop. Equiping this will allow you to fight reindeer. You can increase the chance of the sign dropping by using any item that reduces the chance of combat like a ring of conflict or deordorant. Killing 10 and 100 reindeer will get you two trophies. The reindeer are tough and scale up to your level, but they drop a large amount of meat. Your muscle and moxie are proportional to their moxie and muscle. That is, if you have high muscle, the reindeer will have high moxie (and be difficult to hit), if you have high moxie, the reindeer will have high muscle (and have lots of HP).

Oyster Egg Day:
A recurring event in which "oyster eggs" are hidden around the land. Using eggs will produce a variety of effects.
You must have an oyster basket (purchased from The Market) to find eggs.
The next oyster egg day will occur on July 28, 2006.
Egg NameLocation(s)Effect
black paisley oyster eggThe Hippy Camp, The Penultimate Fantasy AirshipEgg-stortionary Tactics
black plastic oyster eggThe Obligatory Pirate's CoveCombat item (steals meat)
black polka-dot oyster eggThe Dungeons of Doom, The Icy PeakEgg-stortionary Tactics
black striped oyster eggCobb's Knob Treasury, Lair of the Ninja SnowmenEgg-stortionary Tactics
blue paisley oyster eggThe Misspelled Cemetary, The Batrat and Ratbat BurrowGain ~30 MP
blue plastic oyster eggThe eXtreme SlopeCombat item (Restore ~45 MP)
blue polka-dot oyster eggThe Valley of Rof L'm Fao, Orcish Frat HouseGain ~30 MP
blue striped oyster eggDegrassi KnollGain ~30 MP
lavender paisley oyster eggOutskirts of Cobb's KnobGain ~13 Mys and ~13 Mox
lavender plastic oyster eggEntryway (The Bat Hole), ThugnderdomeCombat item (attacks)
lavender polka-dot oyster eggThe Typical Tavern, South of the BorderGain ~25 Moxie
lavender striped oyster eggCobb's Knob Menagerie, Level 3Gain ~12 Mus/Mox
mauve paisley oyster eggWhitey's GroveGain ~25 Mys
mauve plastic oyster eggCobb's Knob Kitchens, Camp Logging Camp, The Sleazy Back AlleyCombat item (attacks)
mauve polka-dot oyster eggCobb's Knob Menagerie, Level 1Gain ~12 Mys/Mox
mauve striped oyster eggThe Sleazy Back AlleyGain ~12 Mus/Mys
off-white paisley oyster eggThe Hippy Camp (In Disguise)Eggs-tra Sensory Perception
off-white plastic oyster eggThe Deep Fat Friars' Gate, The GoatletCombat item (confuses)
off-white polka-dot oyster egg The Haiku DungeonEggs-tra Sensory Perception
off-white striped oyster eggThe Roulette TablesEggs-tra Sensory Perception
puce paisley oyster eggItznotyerzitz Mine, Cobb's Knob Menagerie, Level 2Gain ~12 Mus/Mys
puce plastic oyster eggThe Castle in the Clouds in the Sky, The Spooky Gravy BarrowCombat item (attacks)
puce polka-dot oyster eggthe Haunted PantryGain ~12 Mus/Mox
puce striped oyster eggThe Orcish Frat House (In Disguise), The PalindomeGain ~25 Mus
red paisley oyster eggThe Spooky ForestRestore ~35 HP
red plastic oyster eggKnob Goblin Laboratory, The "Fun" HouseCombat item (heals)
red polka-dot oyster eggCobb's Knob Harem, Guano JunctionRestore ~35 HP
red striped oyster eggThe Hole in the Sky, Itznotyerzitz Mine (In Disguise)Restore ~35 HP
yellow paisley oyster eggThe Beanbat ChamberEgg-headedness
yellow plastic oyster eggFernswarthy's Tower, The Hidden TempleComabt item (random)
yellow polka-dot oyster eggThe Poker RoomEgg-cellent Vocabulary
yellow striped oyster eggThe Limerick DungeonEgg-stra Arm
*Note that most non-combat usable eggs will additionally give 10-15 of a stat when used.

St. Sneaky Pete's Day:
St. Sneaky Pete's Day is KoL's version of Saint Patrick's Day. On this day you able to make green beer (cocktailcraft ice-cold beer and a ten-leaf clover), which will allow you to exceed the normal drunkeness limits. Once your drunkeness goes above 25, you will start to get St. Sneaky Pete's Day Stupor adventures when you try to adventure normally. Adventure until you get a portable corkscrew (30 power weapon) and equip it. Continue adventuring until you get the Boozehare adventure, which gives you the St. Sneaky Pete's Day goodies basket. The basket provides ~5 oyster eggs, ~5 bottles of alcohol and one fake plastic grass when used. Fake plastic grass is a meatsmithing component for the Grass Guise outfit. Note that you can also use ! potions to raise your drunkeness by 1-3, and 668 scrolls occasionally give 10 drunkeness when used.

Previous versions of this event would give you a cheap plastic bottle opener and coloured traffic cones (orange traffic cone, yellow traffic cone, red traffic cone, green traffic cone, and a blue traffic cone). Traffic cones are 60 power hats that give +3 moxie and resistance to an element. If you had a female character, you could get an adventure where you would receive one of: string of blue beads, string of green beads, or string of red beads. The event on July 21st gave a blue ribbon.

Spanish fly trap:
As you adventure in the The Orcish Frat House, you will encounter an orc who asks you to get 5 spanish flies for him. To do this, you must first adventure in The Obligatory Pirate's Cove until you get a Spanish fly trap. Then, with the Spanish fly trap equipped in your off-hand, adventure at The Hippy Camp until you have at least five flies. Return to The Orcish Frat House and you will be rewarded with one "around the world" drink for every five spanish flies you bring back. This quest is repeatable.

Guild Halls:
There are three types of Guild Halls, one for each character class. Moxie classes have The Department of Shadowy Arts and Crafts Muscle classes have The Brotherhood of the Smackdown and Mystical classes have The League of Chef-Magi. You must pass three trials (simple tests of your characters primary stat) to be able to access the skill trainer, who teaches new skills for a price. Passing one more trial will open up the Guild Store. Your primary stat must be at least 6, 14, 18 or 20 for the first, second, third and fourth trials, respectively.

Bitchin' Meat Car:
Visit your Guild Hall's quest giving NPC to receive a Degrassi Knoll shopping list and this quest. You must first gather a cog, an Empty Meat Tank, some Tires, a spring and a sprocket. Some of these are found inside Gnollish Toolboxes, which are found in Degrassi Knoll. You need the Sweet Rims, which you get from the Hermit by trading him a Worthless item. You will also need five Meat Pastes and a Meat Stack (must have 100 meat to make this), which can be made inside your inventory. Combine the Meat Stack with the Empty Meat Tank to get a Full Meat Tank, and combine the Tires with the Sweet Rims to get the Dope Wheels. Combine a spring and a sprocket, then combine the result with a cog to make Cog And Sprocket Assembly. Now combine the Full Meat Tank with the Cog And Sprocket Assembly to produce a Meat Engine, which you can then combine with the Dope Wheels to get a Bitchin' Meatcar. Return to your Guild Hall to complete the quest and to gain the ability to adventure at the Shore.

The White Citadel:
Given by the quest NPC in your Guild Hall, you are tasked with finding The White Citadel. You must first adventure at Whitey's Grove until you are able to access The Road to the White Citadel. Continue adventuring in The Road to the White Citadel until you get a massive bag of catnip from a hippy, which will allow you to pass the Cheetahs Never Lose adventure. You also need to get a hang glider, which will allow you to pass the Summer Holiday adventure. This will remove The Road to the White Citadel area, replacing it with The White Citadel area. Visit The White Citadel with 300 Meat to receive the White Citadel Satisfaction Satchel. Return to the quest NPC in your guild area and you will get the lucky rabbit's foot (+7% item and meat drops) as your quest reward.

Doc Galaktik:
If you visit Doc Galaktik's Medicine Show in town when you are at least level 6, you can accept his quest. He tasks you with finding three types of item: Three swindleblossoms, dropped by Knob Goblin Harem Girls in Cobb's Knob Harem, three sprigs of fraudwort, dropped by Demoninjas in Deep Fat Friars' Gate, and three bundles of shysterweed, dropped by grave rober zmobies or grave robers in The Misspelled Cemetary. Once you provide the Doc with the nine items he needs, he will give you a 40% discount on Curative Nostrums and Fizzy Invigorating Tonics at Doc Galaktik's Medicine Show.

Spookyraven Manor:
Visit The Haunted Pantry until you encounter the 'The Manor in Which You're Accustomed' adventure, which will unlock the new Spookyraven Manor location. Several monsters here are resistant to physical damage and require elemental damage to hurt. Three of the locations are freely available for adventuring in, the rest have to be unlocked.

To open the haunted library, adventure in The Haunted Billiards Room until you have a pool cue and a handful of hand chalk. Equip the pool cue and use the hand chalk, then revisit The Haunted Billiards Room. Once you get the 'Minnesota Incorporeals' adventure, select 'Let the ghost greak' (picking 'Break' will give you 50 moxie). Next, pick 'Go for a solid' then 'Go for the 8-ball'. You will now have the Spookyraven library key.

Once you have access to The Haunted Library, you are able to open The Haunted Conservatory. Adventure in the library until you come across a bookcase. Pick 'Read "The Fall of the House of Spookyraven"', then 'Read "Chapter 2: Stephen and Elizabeth"'. You can now adventure in The Haunted Conservatory to get the 'Spookyraven gallery key'.

To repair the stairs and gain access to 'The Spookyraven Manor, Second Floor', click on the third book from the left on the top shelf of the bookcase in the 'Take a Look, it's in a Book!' adventure in The Haunted Library. You are now able to access two new areas in addition to another locked area.

To open The Haunted Ballroom, go to The Haunted Bedroom. Search the top drawer of the wooden nightstand, then search it's bottom drawer to find the Spookyraven ballroom key.

You can also find Lord Spookyraven's spectacles behind the ornate nightstand in The Haunted Bedroom. When equipped, they allow you to find a special class specific item under the mahogany nightstand. For Seal Clubbers or Turtle Tamers, you will find a tattered wolf standard or a tattered snake standard, respectively. For Pastamancers or Saucerors, you will find a 'English to A. F. U. E. Dictionary', and for Accordion Thieves or Disco Bandits, you will find bizarre illegible sheet music.

With the tattered wolf standard, adventure in The Haunted Gallery until you get the 'Out in the Garden' adventure. Choose the first knight, and you will get a new skill: 'Snarl of the Timberwolf'. If you have the tattered snake standard, pick the second knight, and you will the the 'Spectral Snapper' skill.
Mysticality classes with the English to A. F. U. E. Dictionary will need to adventure in The Haunted Library until they get the 'Take a Look, it's in a Book!' adventure. Choose the 'Read "Ancient Forbidden Unspeakable Evil, a Love Story"' option, then 'Read "Chapter 3: Twisted, Curdled, Corrupt Energy and You"'. Pastamancers will get the 'Fearful Fettucini' skill, while Saucerors will get the 'Scarysauce' skill.
Moxie classes can adventure in The Haunted Ballroom until they get the Curtains adventure, where they should choose "Investigate the organ". Accordion Thieves will get the 'Dirge of Dreadfulness' skill, and Disco Bandits will get the 'Tango of Terror' skill.
Most of these new skills involve dealing spooky damage to enemies.

Spookyraven Manor drops
The pile of dusty animal bones can be used to create a new familiar, the Misshapen Animal Skeleton.
The grouchy restless spirit can be combined with a clockwork sphere to create the Spooky Death Orb.

Crimbo 2006:
This location is only available during December 2006.
Begin by visiting 'A Lonely Crimbo Elf' in The Big Mountains. Go to your campsite and use the Spooky Advent Calendar, this will give you a chocolate lump (once per ascension) and a random candy. Eat the chocolate lump and sleep in your campsite. You get a nightmare describing the quest. Rest again. In the place where the lonely Crimbo Elf used to be, there is now Crimbo Rock. There are three areas of Crimbo Rock, a place to adventure and get items, a place to use those items to manufacture toys, and a food/drink market.
Adventure in the Simple Tool-Making Cave until you have gathered at least 2 sticks, a stringy sinew, and a big leaf. Use the Toy-Making Cave to turn these items into fire and a leaf tube. Now combine the fire and leaf tube with meat paste to get a lit cigar. Use the lit cigar to complete the first phase of the Save Uncle Crimbo! 2006 quest.
Combining a rock and a tooth will get you the Toothsome Rock familiar.
Continue adventuring in Crimbo Rock until you get the 'Check It Out Now' choice adventure. Pick 'Get With The Now' to turn Crimbo Rock into Crimbotown Right-About-Now. Adventure until you get the spooky frank. Cook the spooky frank with either some enchanted beans, a hill of beans or a pile of jumping beans to make a plate of franks and beans. Eat the plate to complete the second phase.
Once you have eaten the plate of franks and beans, either rest in your campsite or adventure in The Spooky Fright Factory until you meet the Next Sunday A.D.. Pick the 'Move on to the Future' option to open up Crimbotown Not-Too-Distant-Future. Adventure at 'The Crimborg Collective Factory' until you obtain the flask of peppermint oil. Now cocktailcraft the flask of peppermint oil and some fermenting powder together to make a flask of peppermint schnapps. Use the flask of peppermint schnapps to complete the quest and gain access to the time sleigh, which allows you to travel to each of the three Crimotowns.

Claudes Cake Quest:
Adventure in the Haunted Pantry until you encounter the 'Baker's Dilemma' event. Select "I'll see what I can do" to receive the unlit birthday cake. Head to the Outskirts of Cobb's Knob to find the 'Knob Goblin BBQ' event and pick "Kiss the chef". Return to the Haunted Pantry with your newly lit birthday cake. You will be rewarded with a pat-a-cake pendant.

Harold's Hammer Quest:
While adventuring in the Sleazy Back Alley you will encounter the 'Please, Hammer' event. Select "Sure, I'll help" to accept the quest and get Harold's hammer head and Harold's hammer handle. Combine these two into Harold's hammer and return to the Sleazy Back Alley to collect a suntan lotion of moxiousness.

Wounded Guard Quest:
Adventure in the Outskirts of Cobb's Knob until you encounter 'When Rocks Attack'. Accept to get 30 meat. Use the meat to buy a pungent unguent from Doc Galaktik's Medicine Show in Market Square. Return to the Outskirts of Cobb's Knob to complete the quest, and get a ring of half-assed regeneration.

Legendary Epic Weapon:

3) -Familiars-

To use any familiars you must first buy and then use a Familiar-Gro™ Terrarium.
Familiars will stop growing at 20lbs, but can temporarily reach 40+ with items and spells.
Familiars will level up when their number of kills equals the square of their next level. (e.g. 9 kills for level 3)
You can equip familiar specific items which typically increase its level/weight by 5. They can be found by winning in The Cake-Shaped Arena.
For arena info go to the arena section of this guide.

The Leprechaun:
Leprechaun hatchling is fairly difficult to get. Visit the Spooky Forest with a ten-leaf clover to get the bowl of lucky charms. When you eat the bowl of lucky charms, there is a chance you will receive a leprechaun hatchling. If you do not get the hatchling, you must get another bowl of lucky charms and try again. When you do get the hatchling just "use" it to get the familiar. The Leprechaun gives you more meat at the end of battles. Its item is the meat detector.

The Mosquito:
The easiest familiar to get, the mosquito larvae is found in the spooky forest. Just "use" it to gain the mosquito. The Mosquito will occasionally drain the enemies hit points and give them to you. Its item is the hypodermic needle.

The Levitating Potato:
To get the levitating potato go to the daily dungeon and search the rooms, eventually you will find the potato. Once you have it, just "use" it. The potato will "trip up your foes". Its item is the many-eyed glasses.

The Fuzzy Dice:
They are the 23rd reward item for adventuring at the Shore. Once acquired just "use" it. It randomly selects one of these effects: Attack the enemy, attack you, give you 10 meat, give you MP, nothing or trips your opponent. Its item is the meatcar model.

The Sabre-Toothed Lime:
First of all you need to visit the goatlet and get some sabre teeth. Then you need to go to menagerie level 1 (in the cobbs knob laboratory) or to the palindome and acquire a lime. You then combine the two to get a sabre toothed lime cub. Then just "use" that. The lime will attack in battle. Its item is the tiny shaker of salt.

The Angry Goat:
Combine goats cheese from the goatlet and anticheese from the shore. You now have a goat. It will attack enemies. Its item is the prosthetic forehead.

The Barrrnacle:
The barrrnacle can be acquired by adventuring at the obligatory pirates cove. Once you have it, just "use" it. The barrrnacle slows the enemy. Its item is the sucky decal.

The Spooky Pirate Skeleton:
The spooky pirate skeleton is slightly tricky to make. First, go to the misspelled cemetary and get 8 skeleton bones. Then go to the obligatory pirates cove and get a pirates pelvis and a sunken chest. Then you must make a pirate skull, this is done by smart skull + disembodied brain = brainy skull, then brainy skull + eyepatch = pirate skull then "use" the pirate skull. This will combine all the items you have collected together to get the pirate skeleton. Then "use" the pirate skeleton in your inventory. The Pirate Skeleton helps in battle. Its item is the blundarrrbus.

The Howling Balloon Monkey:
Get 4 long skinny balloons from The "Fun" House in the plains. Then combine two to make a balloon helmet (long skinny balloon + long skinny balloon = balloon helmet). Then long skinny balloon + balloon helmet = balloon sword, and finally balloon sword + long skinny balloon = balloon monkey. Then "use" the monkey. It will electrocute enemies and restore your MP when it reaches level 10. Its item is the tiny balloon knife.

The Rewinged Stab Bat:
For a Stab Bat, you must get a batblade (from the palindome) and 2 bat wings (from the bat cave). Then you must combine the bat wing with the batblade. Once you've done that you have a one winged stab bat. Then from there combine the one winged stab bat with another bat wing, and bravo! You have a re-winged stab bat. Attacks in combat, but can damage you as well. Its item is the shock collar.

The Blood-Faced Volleyball:
To get the blood faced volleyball you must go to the hermit and get a volleyball. Then you must go to the sewer and get a seal tooth (This may take a while, it may be better to go to the mall). Then you must use the seal tooth (to get a bloody hand) and then use the volleyball. This should make a blood faced volleyball. The volleyball increases the number of stat points you gain at the end of battle. Its item is the palm-frond toupee.

Baby Gravy Fairy:
To get the baby gravy fairy you must cook a knob mushroom (can be found in knob goblin kitchens) with a fairy gravy (found in haiku dungeon) to get a pregnant mushroom. The Gravy Fairy will get you more items at the end of battle. Its item is the eye-pod.

The Ghuol Whelp:
The ghuol whelp is easy to get. First go to the misspelled cemetary and find a ghuol egg, then go to the spooky forest and find some Spooky-Gro fertilizer and then combine the two. The Ghuol Whelp eats the corpses of defeated enemies to replenish your health and MP. Its item is the tiny knife and fork.

Star Starfish:
Can be made by using a star chart with 6 Stars and 4 Lines. Deals damage and drains MP, giving the MP to you. Its item is the magnifying glass.

Received by completing the Strange Leaflet quest. The Grue hits for significant damage when the moons are dark. Its item is the moonglasses.

Created by cooking 4 cocoa eggshell fragments together into two large cocoa eggshell fragments and then into a cocoa egg. Use the cocoa egg. The Cocoabo will occasionally recover HP/MP, do damage, confuse the enemy or scavenge meat. Its item is the chocolate spurs.

Ghost Pickle On A Stick:
Mix brine and vinegar together to make briney vinegar, which you then mix with dill to make dill brine. Mix a cucumber and the dill brine to make a spectral pickle, and cook the spectral pickle with a Skewer to make a Ghost Pickle On a Stick. In combat, the pickle uses a poking attack to do damage. The Ghost pickle also has a acid attack, which lowers the level of its target. Its item is the skewer-mounted razor blade. The ingredients for this familiar spawn only in The Spectral Pickle Factory, which appears very rarely.

Baby Killer Bee:
Found in the The Dungeons of Doom in town. It will attack enemies in battle. Occasionally the baby killer bee feeds you royal jelly, increasing your stats while subtracting one HP. Its item is the brass stinger.

Must buy a Dark Jill-O-Lantern from the Mr. Store and use it to get this familiar. Its item is the 100-Watt bulb.

Hand Turkey:
You must buy a hand turkey outline for one Mr. Accessory from the Mr. Store. It attacks like a goat and increases the amount of meat you find after a battle. Its item is the candied yam pinky ring.

Coffee Pixie:
You must buy a coffee sprite from the Mr. Store for 2 Mr. Accessories to get this familiar. It increases the amount of meat and items you find. Its item is the miniature espresso maker.

Cheshire Bat:
Must buy a Cheshire Bitten from the Mr. Store. It increases the amount of meat and stat points you get from a battle. Its item is the smile-sharpening stone.

Crimbo Elf:
Buy a crimbo elfling from the Mr. Store. Will attack like a lime and will also increase the chance of getting items from a battle. Its item is the dental pliers. It is December's Familiar-of-the-Month.

Baby Yeti:
Buy an orphan baby yeti from the Mr. Store. It deals damage and drains MP. Its item is the penguin-smacking club. It is the January Familiar-of-the-Month.

Feather Boa Constrictor:
Buy a silk garter snake from the Mr. Store. It will fight, entangle and steal meat from your enemies. Its item is the black velvet choker. It is February's Monthly Special.

Hanukkimbo dreidl:
Use a small Crimbo Pressie. It can attack, stun, steal meat and steal MP. Its item is the menorette.

Emo Squid:
Use an emo roe. The emo roe appeared at the Mr. Store on April 1 only, as an April Fool's joke. It slows and trips your enemies like the barrrnacle and potato do. Its item is the gazing shoes.

Personal Raincloud:
Use a personal raindrop. It has several random effects such as: attacking the enemy, attack you, restoring HP, restoring MP, or buffing stats. Its item is the rainbow tie.

Hovering Sombrero:
Combine a poultrygeist and an irate sombrero together. Use the resulting hovering sombrero. Both these items are available from the South of the Border location. It acts similarly to a volleyball, increasing stat gains from combat. Its item is the tiny maracas.

Inflatable Dodecapede:
Use a deflated inflatable dodecapede purchased from the Mr. Store in June. Will attack in combat, but will become less powerfull as it gets bigger. Its item is the toy six-seater hovercraft. It is Junes Familiar-of-the-Month.

Whirling Maple Leaf:
Combine two leaflets to form a leaf. Then combine the leaf with maple syrup. Use the resulting maple leaf to get the familiar. All the components required are available in Little Canadia. It attacks and restores MP. It's item is the tiny Mountie hat.

MagiMechTech MicroMechaMech:
Use the supertinkerer to combine the clockwork spine, clockwork claws and clockwork key together to form a deactivated MicroMechaMech. See the Supertinkerers section for more info. It attacks your enemies. Its item is the targeting chip.

Clockwork Grapefruit:
Cook the clockwork endoskeleton and grapefruit together to form an unwound clockwork grapefruit. It attacks (might have other abilities). It's item is the false eyelashes.

frozen Gravy fairy:
Use the pregnant frozen mushroom given to you by Mayor Zapruder as reward for the Summon a Mushroom Familiar quest. It will attack enemies and increase item drops by 2.5% per pound. Its item is the iced-out bling, which is not available at the arena. To acquire this familars item, you need to complete Mayor Zapruders quest at least three times to get all the Gravy fairy familiars. Once you have all three familiars, completing Mayor Zapruders quest yet again will give you a Gravy fairy familiar item.

stinky Gravy fairy:
Use the pregnant stinky mushroom given to you by Mayor Zapruder as reward for the Summon a Mushroom Familiar quest. It will attack enemies and increase item drops by 2.5% per pound. Its item is the limburger biker boots, which is not available at the arena. To acquire this familars item, you need to complete Mayor Zapruders quest at least three times to get all the Gravy fairy familiars. Once you have all three familiars, completing Mayor Zapruders quest yet again will give you a Gravy fairy familiar item.

flaming Gravy fairy:
Use the pregnant flaming mushroom given to you by Mayor Zapruder as reward for the Summon a Mushroom Familiar quest. It will attack enemies, increase item drops by 2.5% per pound and occasionally produce mushrooms. Its item is the flaming glowsticks, which is not available at the arena. To acquire this familars item, you need to complete Mayor Zapruders quest at least three times to get all the Gravy fairy familiars. Once you have all three familiars, completing Mayor Zapruders quest yet again will give you a Gravy fairy familiar item.

pygmy bugbear shaman:
Purchased from the Mr. Store. Increases the ammount of stats and items you get after a battle but consumes MP doing it. Its item is the tiny nose-bone fetish, which reduces its MP cost by 2-4. It is augusts familiar of the month.

Purchase a doppleshifter egg from the Mr. Store. Will assume the shape of your other familiars at random. Its item is the tiny makeup kit.

Attention-Deficit Demon:
Purchase a calm attention-deficit demon from the Mr. Store. It increases the drop rate of meat and items from monsters. Its item is the attention spanner.

Cymbal-Playing Monkey:
Purchase a unwound cymbal-playing monkey from the Mr. Store. It provides more meat and stat gains from battles. Its item is the funky brass fez.

Temporal Riftlet:
Purchase a miniscule temporal rip from the Mr. Store. It will disrupt and slow enemies during combat. Occasionally gives extra adventures. Its item is 1.21 jigawatts.

Sweet Nutcracker:
December 2005's familiar of the month. Purchased from the Mr. Store. Attacks enemies and sometimes buffs you. Its item is the metal mandible.

Pet Rock:
Have Uncle Crimbo combine an eye and a block to create a pet rock. It sits motionless. It does not participate in the Arena. In short, it does nothing. You can obtain its item, the pet rock "Snooty" disguise, by using the Summon Hilarious Objects skill.

Teddy Bear:
Have Uncle Crimbo combine 2 eyes, 4 stuffings and 2 felts into a teddy bear. It will sometimes jump in front of attacks, blocking them. However, each attack it blocks appears to reduce its experience by one point. It is thought that the bear will only block attacks when its experience level is greater the damage done. Its item is the teddy bear sewing kit.

Snowy Owl:
Zap a yo-yo to create a sleeping snowy owl. It attacks in combat. Its item is the Pretty Predator Clawicure Kit.

Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot:
You first need to combine a clockwork sphere, an enchanted eyepatch, a zombie pineal gland, a glowing red eye, and a cold ninja mask together to make a ninja pirate zombie robot head. Then collect: a clockwork spine, a cheap toaster, four pine tars, eight skeleton bones, a clockwork claw, a Chest of the Bonerdagon, two spiked femurs, two disembodied brains, two clockwork sheets, frigid ninja stars, teeny-tiny ninja stars, a star throwing star, an icy-hot katana and a Blundarrrbus. Once you have collected these items, use the ninja pirate zombie robot head and the Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot will assemble itself. This familiar restores HP/MP, attacks, stuns, collects meat and sometimes gives toast. Its item is the rhesus monkey.

Sleazy Gravy Fairy:
Cook a sleazy fairy gravy (cook pr0n legs and fairy gravy) and an oily golden mushroom to get a pregnant oily golden mushroom. To get an oily golden mushroom, You must trade a gloomy black mushroom to A Suspicious-Looking Guy on The Wrong Side of the Tracks. Increases item drops and does sleaze damage. Its item is the hot pink lipstick, which drops in the Sleezy Back Alley when you have the sleazy gravy fairy as your familiar.

Spooky Gravy Fairy:
Use a pregnant gloomy black mushroom. Increases item drops and does damage. Its item is the miniature carton of clove cigarettes. To get the clove cigarettes, you must defeat Felonia, Queen of the Spooky Gravy Fairies, with a Spooky Gravy Fairy as your familiar. To get a pregnant gloomy black mushroom you must cook a spooky fairy gravy and a gloomy black mushroom. Gloomy black mushroom must be grown in the mushroom farms. Here is an example plot:
Day 1Day 2Day 3
knoll knob 
 knob knoll
knoll knob 
 knob knoll
 cool warm
pointy warm 
 warm pointy
warm cool 
Day 4 (remove asterisked)Day 5a (remove asterisked)Day 5b (plant 3 spooky spores)
 cool warm
pointy *warm* 
 *warm* pointy
warm cool 
*frozen* *stinky* 
 frozen *flaming*
*flaming* *frozen* 
 *stinky* frozen
 frozen spooky
 spooky frozen
Day 6Day 7 (Dark moons)Day 8
 frozen spooky
 spooky frozen
gloomy gloomy 
 gloomy gloomy
gloomy gloomy 
 gloomy gloomy

Wild Hare:
It is March 2006's familiar of the month and can be purchased from the Mr. Store as a March hat. Each battle, it does one of several things: It can increase stat gains, it can attack, it can increase meat drops or it can increase item drops. When it stops to wind its watch, you will gain one extra turn next rollover. This occurs about every 15 rounds of battle, less if you have its item, which is the miniature dormouse. The wild hare will also prevent you from getting the "beaten up" status when you lose in combat, consuming one adventure in the process.

Wind-up Chattering Teeth:
Obtained by using the skill Summon Hilarious Objects, which is obtained by using McPhee's Grimoire of Hilarious Object Summoning, which could be purchased in the Mr. Store in April 2006. It attacks enemies in combat. Its item is the diamond-studded fronts.

Spirit Hobo:
May 2006's familiar of the month can be purchased at the Mr. Store as a homeless hobo spirit. It increases the amount of stats gain at the end of battle and when given alcohol, restores MP. Its item is the weegee sqouija, which makes alcohol more effective in enchancing the spirit hobo's ability.

Astral Badger:
June 2006's familiar of the month can be purchased at the Mr. Store. It attacks every round. It also drops up to five Astral Mushrooms a day, which when eaten, give the Half-Astral. The Half-Astral lasts for five turns and allows the "A Journey to the Center of Your Mind" adventures. Its item is the badger badge, which gives +5% To Astral Mushroom Drops.

Comma Chameleon:
August 2006's familiar of the month. When the comma chameleon eats a piece of familiar equipment, it will mimic whatever familiar that equipment belonged to for 40-50 turns. It has no item of it's own. In The Cake-Shaped Arena, you can only play the Hide and Seek game, but every other win, you get a random piece of familiar equipment.

Misshapen Animal Skeleton:
Can be obtained by using a dusty animal skull (Combine a dusty animal cranium and dusty animal jawbone) while having at least one of each of the 98 other dusty bones. The dusty bones and skull parts can be acquired by using a 'pile of dusty animal bones' found in the The Haunted Conservatory in the Spookyraven Manor. The misshapen animal skeleton deals spooky damage and delevels enemies? Its item is the bone collar.

Scary Death Orb:
Combine a Clockwork sphere and a grouchy restless spirit to form a scary death orb. The orb will attack either you or your enemy in combat. Its item is the tuning fork, which makes the orb attack you less often. The grouchy restless spirit can be found in The Haunted Bedroom, inside Spookyraven Manor. The clockwork sphere must be made using supertinkering.

Origami Towel Crane:
Use a towel until it is folded into a makeshift crane and use the crane. The origami towel crane absorbs some attacks from your enemy and can also interfere with their actions. Its item is the can of starch.

Toothsome rock:
Available during December 2006 only. Use the Toy-Making Cave to combine a rock and a tooth. It does nothing.

Ancient Yuletide Troll:
You can purchase the Yuletide troll chrysalis from the Mr. Store in December 2006 only. It will increase stat gains after combat as well as restoring some HP/MP. It will also occasionally a disintegrating sheet music that will allow you cast minor buffs on other players. Its item is the giant book of ancient carols.

Evil Teddy Bear:
Available during December 2006 only. At Linnea's Monster Truck in Crimbotown Right-About-Now, combine two evil googly eyes, four spooky wads of stuffing and two spooky squares of felt. The evil teddy bear uses its own experience to attack enemies and block their attacks. Its item is the evil teddy bear sewing kit.

4) -Tattoos/Outfits-

The painter is on The Wrong Side Of The Tracks in The Dirt-Walled Hovel of The Pretentious Artist. You must complete his quest first. To get a tattoo, wear an item set then visit the painter. Once you have been given the tattoos by the painter, you can manage them from your account settings.

The Tattoos:

8-Bit Finery:
Pixel Sword, Pixel Hat and Pixel Pants. Wearing this outfit increases your damage in the 8-bit world.

Arboreal Raiment/Wreath tattoo:
Equip the colored-light "necklace", can of fake snow and a tree skirt. Players were given a single one of these items on December 25, 2005.

Clockwork Apparatus:
Wear the clockwork hat, clockwork trench coat and clockwork pants

Crimbo Light tattoo:
Wear the Bow Tux Outfit (bowler, bow staff and bowlegged pants). This outfit gives +5 to all stats when worn.

Bugbear tattoo:
Wear the Bugbear Costume (Bugbear Bungguard and Bugbear Beanie).

Character class tattoo:
Visit the painter without any items on. Can be repeated after ascension.

Cloaca-Cola can tattoo:
Wear the Cloaca-Cola Uniform (Cloaca-Cola helmet, Cloaca-Cola fatigues, and Cloaca-Cola shield).

Crimbo Duds:
Crimbo Sword, Crimbo Hat and Crimbo Pants.

Dyspepsi-Cola can tattoo:
Wear the Dyspepsi-Cola Uniform (Dyspepsi-Cola helmet, Dyspepsi-Cola fatigues, and Dyspepsi-Cola shield).

Encephalic Ensemble:
Wear the Cerebral Cloche, Cerebral Crossbow and Cerebral Culottes.

EXtreme Cold Weather tattoo:
Wear the eXtreme Cold-Weather Gear (eXtreme Mittens, eXtreme Scarf and Snowboarder Pants).

Furry Suit:
wolf mask and Furry Pants.

Gnauga Hides:
gnauga hide chaps, Gnauga hide buckler, and gnauga hide whip

Grass Guise:
Equip a grass hat, grass blade, and grass skirt to get the egg tattoo.

Hippy tattoo:
Wear the Filthy Hippy Disguise (filthy corduroys and filthy knitted dread sack).

Hot and Cold Ninja tattoo:
Wear the Hot and Cold Running Ninja Suit (ninja hot pants, Cold Ninja Mask, Icy-Hot Katana).

Knob Goblin Elite tattoo:
Wear the Knob Goblin Elite Outfit (Knob Goblin Elite Polearm, Knob Goblin Elite Helm and Knob Goblin Elite Pants).

Knob Goblin Harem Girl tattoo:
Wear the Knob Goblin Harem Girl outfit (Knob Goblin harem pants and Knob Goblin harem veil).

Martini tattoo:
Drink martinis until you receive the tattoo.

Mining tattoo:
Wear the Mining Gear (7-Foot Dwarven Mattock, Miner's Pants and Miner's Helmet).

OK Lumberjack Outfit:
Wear the OK Lumberjack Outfit (balaclava, los chinos, and disbelief suspenders)

Orcish Frat Boy tattoo:
Wear the Frat Boy Ensemble (Orcish cargo shorts, Orcish baseball cap and the homoerotic frat-paddle).

Pirate tattoo:
Wear the Swashbuckling Getup (swashbuckling pants, stuffed shoulder parrot and an eyepatch).

Radio Free Regalia:
Wear the Radio Free Regalia (Radio Free Foil, Radio Free Baseball Cap and Radio Free Pants) The items in this outfit are not found normally, but given out if you listen to Radio KoL.

Star tattoo:
Wear the Star Garb (star hat, star pants and star buckler). Wearing the Star Garb gives +7 to all stats.

Terrifying Clown Suit:
Wear the foolscap fool's cap, bloody clown pants, big red clown nose, polka-dot bowtie and clown shoes.

Terrycloth Tackle:
Wear the makeshift turban, makeshift skirt and makeshift cape. Wearing this outfit decreases your moxie by 12.

Time Trappings / Hourglass Tattoo:
Wear the time trappings (time trousers, time sword, and time helmet). Wearing the complete set adds an extra +3 adventures per day.

Tropical Crimbo Duds:
Wear the Tropical Crimbo Hat, Tropical Crimbo Sword, and Tropical Crimbo Shorts.

Yendorian Finery / Elbereth Tattoo:
Wear the Yendorian Finery (cornuthaum, ring of aggravate monster and vorpal blade).

Roman numeral I tattoo:
Open the letter from King Ralph after ascending once and this tattoo will be available.

5) -Effects-

*Note that the association between effect and type of ! potion is random for each player.
Effect nameHow to get the effectEffect's effectDuration
Effects from items
Antsy in your PantsyUse some maple syrup+5 Moxie, 4+ Mox, +4 Mys5
Arse-a'fireDrink a Arse-a'fire elixirTriples muscle5
Black TongueUse a black snowconeAll tongue effects20
Bloody HandUse a baby seal toothBloody Hand3
Blue TongueUse a blue snowcone+25% items drops in combat20
Butt-Rock HairUse a can of hair spray+15% moxie3
CanadianityDrink a White CanadianChange "out" to "oot" and put "eh?" on the end of your sentences in chat.3
Chalky EqualityDrink a potion of chalky equalityMysticality and moxie become equal to base muscle5
Clean-ShavenUse the shaving cream+5 Moxie5
ConfusedEat a herb brownie-30% mysticality5
ConfusedDrink a ! potion*-30% mysticality20
ConfusedUse some Senior Mints-30% mysticality5
ConfusedEat a Now and Earlier-30% mysticality5
Dill-TasticDrink a dill potion+15 all stats5
Dwarven HardinessEat dwarf bread+5 muscle5
Egg-cellent VocabularyUse a yellow polka-dot oyster egg or a yellow plastic oyster egg+10% moxie20
Egg-headednessUse a yellow paisley oyster egg or a yellow plastic oyster egg+10% mysticality20
Egg-stortionary TacticsUse a black paisley, black polka-dot, or black striped oyster eggMonsters drop more Meat (~+50%)20
Egg-stra ArmUse a yellow striped oyster egg or a yellow plastic oyster egg+10% muscle20
Eggs-tra Sensory PerceptionUse an off-white paisley, off-white polka-dot, or off-white striped oyster eggMonsters drop more items (~+50%)20
EmbarrassedUse a patchouli incense stick-30% moxie5
Engorged WeaponEat some Meleegra™ pillsIncrease melee potency5
EquilibriumUse equilibrium juiceMuscle and moxie become equal to base mysticality5
Extreme Muscle RelaxationUse Mick's IcyVapoHotnessRub+25% muscle10
Eye of the LihcEat a Lihc eye pieSpooky protection5
Far OutUse a patchouli incense stick+1 mysticality5
Flower PowerEat a flower petal pie or drink a shot of flower schnapps+20% all stats3
Fresh ScentUse deodorantYou encounter monsters less frequently10
Goofball WithdrawalHappens the day after the Hopped Up on Goofballs effect endsHalves all stats (taking more goofballs will cause it to go away)100
GothyUse spooky lipstick or spooky eyeliner+20 mys, -10 mus, -10 mox10
Gr8tnessUse a potion of temporary gr8tnessDoubles all stats5
Grapefruit PowerUse grapefruit juice of powerful power+50% to all stats5
Green TongueUse a green snowcone+5 familiar level20
HennaliciousnessUse a henna tattooRegenerates 10 MP a turn5
Hernia!Use the Mafia Aria while not wearing a support cummerbund-70% muscle5
Hippy StenchUse reodorantYou encounter monsters more frequently10
Hombre Muerto CaminandoUse a marzipan skull?5
Hopped Up on GoofballsUse goofballs+20% muscle and +20% moxie (The 7th time you use goofballs, you permanently lose 20 of each stat point. The 8th time you lose 25, and so on.)10
Izchak's BlessingDrink a ! potion*+25% moxie10
Knob Goblin Lust FrenzyUse the Knob Goblin Love Potion+2 moxie (but permanent -15 muscle subpoints)5
Knob Goblin PerfumeUse the Knob Goblin PerfumeYou smell like a Knob Goblin Harem Girl1
Lemon EnlightenmentUse a cosmic lemonadeDoubles mysticality5
Macho ProfundoUse the Mafia Aria while wearing a support cummerbund+60% muscle and +60% moxie5
Maraschino MoxiosityUse a maraschino moxiosity potionDoubles base moxie5
Missing FingersUse a Knob Goblin Firecracker (while not in combat)-3 muscle3
Mysteriously HandsomeDrink a handsomeness potion+5% moxie5
Mystic PicklenessEat some pickle-flavored chewing gum+5 mysticality, -5 muscle5
Object DetectionDrink a ! potion*Increases the number of items you find?10
Olive DrabnessUse a drab potionMuscle becomes equal to base mysticality5
Orange AppealUse an orangish aphrodisiacDoubles base moxie5
Orange TongueUse a orange snowconeIncreases stats gained like a 10lbs volleyball does20
Papowerful!Use a papotion of papowerDoubles base mysticality5
PoisonedUse a marzipan skull?5
Popping StomachUse Rock PopsDrinking a Dyspepsi-Cola with this effect active causes your stomach to explode and you getting Beaten Up status 
Purple TongueUse a purple snowconeRestores ~20 HP/MP each victory20
Rainy Soul MiasmaUse a thin black candle or picture of a dead guy's girlfriend+10 muscle, +10 mysticality, and -5 moxie10
Rainy Soul MiasmaUse a picture of a dead guy's girlfriend+10 muscle, +10 mysticality, and -5 moxie1
Red TongueUse a red snowcone+25% meat drops in combat20
Sharp WeaponUse a Knob Goblin Sharpening Spray+5 melee damage5
SleepyUse a decorative fountain-30% muscle1
SleepyDrink hippy herbal tea-30% muscle5
SleepyDrink a ! potion*-30% muscle20
Spicey LimenessEat some lime-and-chile-flavored chewing gum+5 moxie, -5 muscle5
Spicey MouthEat some jabañero-flavored chewing gum+5 mysticality, -5 moxie5
Spiky HairUse super-spiky hair gelIncreased chance of critical hit5
Steroid BoostUse Knob Goblin Steroids+2 muscle (but permanent -15 moxie subpoints)5
Sticky HandsUse some pine tarReduce fumble frequency30
Strange Mental AcuityDrink a ! potion*+25% mysticality10
Strawberry AlarmDrink an alarming strawberry juiceMuscle and mysticality become equal to base moxie5
Strength of Ten EttinsDrink a ! potion*+25% muscle10
Sugar RushEat a Tasty Fun Good Rice Candy or use a marzipan skull+1 muscle and +1 moxie5
Sugar RushEat an Angry Farmer Candy+1 muscle and +1 moxie10
Sugar RushEat a Now and Earlier+5% Mus, +5% Mox, -10% Mys5
Tamarind TormentEat some tamarind-flavored chewing gum+5 muscle, -5 moxie5
TeleportitisEncounter a Q in the Enormous Greater-Than SignRandomly teleport to a low-level area when you try to adventure5
TeleportitisDrink a ! potion*Randomly teleport to a low-level area when you try to adventure10
Temporary LycanthropyUse the Blood of the WeresealBase muscle is multiplied by the sum of the moons' fullness percentage10
The Wrath of GrapesUse wrath serumDoubles muscle5
Ticking ClockUse a cheap wind-up clockIncreases combat initiative?10
Tingly BicepsOne of three possible random effects when you use a phonics down+5 muscle3-5
Tingly ElbowsOne of three possible random effects when you use a phonics down+5 moxie3-5
Tingly WristsOne of three possible random effects when you use a phonics down+5 mysticality3-5
Tomato SmoothnessUse a tomato smoothieMoxie and mysticality swap5
UncertainUse a probability potionYour muscle and moxie randomly increases/decreases10
WussinessUse a wussiness potion-3 muscle3
Intrinsic effects from equipment
1337p4n7ZEquip 1337 7r0uZ0RZ+6 muscle, -3 moxie ∞
Chapped LegsEquip leather chaps-2 muscle, +4 moxie ∞
Complete DelusionEquip wolf mask+4 muscle, +5 moxie ∞
Draggin' BallsEquip a Draggin' Ball Hat-3 muscle, +6 moxie ∞
Free BirdEquip Radio Free Pants+20 mysticality ∞
Radio HeadEquip a Radio Free Baseball Cap+20 moxie ∞
Red NeckEquip a mesh cap+4 muscle, -2 moxie ∞
Shiny Happy WeaponEquip a Radio Free Foil+20 muscle ∞
Sleeping with the FishesEquip cement shoesImproves the recovery effect of sleep ∞
Skills & buffs    (Note than Accordion Thieves can increase their buff length by equipping a Rock 'n' Roll Legend)
Aloysius' Antiphon of AptitudeAccordian Thief buffIncreases stat gains in combat by 3 (1 of each stat.)5/15
Ancestral DisapprovalBuy a mysticality boost from your clan+10% mysticality5/10/15
Astral ShellTurtle Tamer buffReduces damage taken in combat5
Brawnee's Anthem of AbsorptionAccordion Thief buffReduces damage taken in combat by 405/15
Cletus' Canticle of CelerityAccordion Thief buffImproves chance of acting first and chance of succesfully fleeing by 20%5/15
Disco State of MindDisco Bandit buff (Disco Aerobics)+2 moxie5
Elemental SaucesphereSauceror buffProtects you from the elements (fire, cold, stench and spookiness)10
EmpathyTurtle Tamer buff+5 familiar level10
EnragedBuy a muscle boost from your clan+10% muscle5/10/15
Fat Leon's Phat Loot LyricAccordion Thief buffIncreases the item drop rates from monsters by 20%5/15
Ghostly ShellTurtle Tamer buffReduces damage taken in combat5
Jabañero SaucesphereSauceror buffEnemies that attack you get damaged10
Jackasses' Symphony of DestructionAccordion Thief buffIncreases melee damage by 125/15
Jalapeño SaucesphereSauceror buffEnemies that attack you suffer some damage10
Leash of LinguiniPastamancer buff+5 familiar level10
Magical Mojomuscular MelodyAccordion Thief buff+30 maximum MP5/15
Mariachi MoodAccordion Thief buff (Moxie of the Mariachi)+1 moxie and +8 maximum HP5
Moxious MadrigalAccordion Thief buff+10 moxie5/15
Ode to BoozeAccordion Thief buff+1-4 Adventures for every alcoholic drink consumed5/15
Pasta OnenessPastamancer buff (Manicotti Meditation)+2 mysticality5
Patience of the TortoiseTurtle Tamer buff+1 muscle and +8 maximum HP5
Polka of PlentyAccordion Thief buffMonsters drop more Meat5/15
Power Ballad of the ArrowsmithAccordion Thief buff+10 muscle5/15
Psalm of PointinessAccordion Thief buffDamages enemies that attack you5/15
Rage of the ReindeerSeal Clubber buff+10% muscle and +10 melee damage5
Reptilian FortitudeTurtle Tamer buff+30 maximum HP5
SaucemasterySauceror buff (Sauce Contemplation)+1 mysticality and +8 maximum HP5
Seal Clubbing FrenzySeal Clubber buff+2 muscle5
Springy FusilliPastamancer buff+40% combat initiative10
Stevedave's Shanty of SuperiorityAccordion Thief buff10% bonus to all stats5/15
Tenacity of the SnapperTurtle Tamer buffIncreases your combat damage5
Whitened TeethBuy a moxie boost from your clan+10% moxie5/10/15
And Your Family, TooThe Don's Special on your familiar-10 familiar level10
ApathyAttacked by an apethetic lizardmanreduces stats10
Beaten UpReach zero hitpointsAll stats halved3
Beaten UpMob hit or drinking Dyspepsi-Cola after eating Rock PopsAll stats halved10
Broken KneesThe Don's Special (a mob hit)-30% muscle10
Corroded WeaponAcid blob attack in the Dungeons of DoomDecrease combat damage5
Gnawed-Off ArmCan occur during a St. Sneaky Pete's Day Stupor-5 muscle5
poisonedVarious-25% all stats10
SunburnedCan occur while adventuring in the Palindome-2 muscle and -2 moxie3
The Smile of Mr. A.Get blessed by a Golden Mr. Accessory+15 all stats40

6) -Recipes-

  1. Combining Recipes
  2. Cooking Recipes
  3. Mixing Recipes
  4. Smithing Recipes
  5. Jewelrymaking Recipes
  6. Supertinkering Recipes

Combining Recipes

31337 Scroll: (Gives a stat scroll and a Hermit Script)
30669 Scroll and 668 Scroll

5-Alarm Saucepan:
heavy hot sauce and saucepan

64067 Scroll:
33398 Scroll and 30669 Scroll

64735 Scroll:
64067 Scroll and 668 Scroll

668 Scroll:
334 Scroll and 334 Scroll

Abridged Dictionary:
Bridge and Dictionary

Asshat: (Stench resistance)
Bum Cheek and Bum Cheek

Badass Belt: (+5 all major stats)
Dragonbone Belt Buckle and Batskin Belt

Balloon Helmet:
Long Skinny Balloon and long skinny balloon

Balloon Monkey: (Familiar)
Balloon Sword and long skinny balloon

Balloon Sword:
balloon helmet and long skinny balloon

Barskin Tent:
Bar Skin and Wooden Stakes

Bartender-In-The-Box: (Removes the adventure cost from mixing drinks)
Bartender-Skull-In-The-Box and Cocktailcrafting Kit

Bartender Skull:
Brainy Skull and Beer Goggles

Bartender Skull and Nothing-In-The-Box

beanbag chair: (campground item - you can spend a turn to recover MP)
filthy knitted dread sack and beans

Beer Goggles:
beer lens and beer lens

Bitchin' Meat Car: (Makes the Shore area available for adventure)
Dope Wheels and Meat Engine

Bjorn's Hammer:
seal-toothed rock and Seal Clubbing Club

Nothing-In-The-Box and box

Nothing-In-The-Box-In-The-Box and box

Bone Rattle:
Skeleton Bone and broken skull

Bonerdagon necklace:
vertebra of the Bonerdagon and necklace chain

Brainy Skull:
Smart Skull and Disembodied Brain

Charrrm Bracelet: (+5 Moxie)
Charrrm and Hemp Bracelet

Chef-In-The-Box: (Removes the adventure cost from cooking)
Chef-Skull-In-The-Box and E-Z Cook Oven™

Chef Skull and nothing-in-the-box

Chef Skull:
Brainy Skull and chef's hat

clockwork pirate skull:
clockwork sphere and enchanted eyepatch

Cog And Sprocket Assembly:
Sprocket Assembly and cog

Bowl Of Cottage Cheese and anticheese

Detective Skull: (Displays the HP of enemies in battle)
gnoll lips and brainy skull

Disco Banjo:
Stone Banjo and Disco Ball

disembodied smile: (+2 spooky damage)
gnoll teeth and gnoll lips

Dope Wheels:
Tires and Sweet Rims.

enchanted eyepatch:
eyepatch and lihc eye

Evil Golden Arches: (When placed in your campground it will enable you to order evil food once every day.)
evil golden arch and evil golden arch

eXtreme nose ring: (+4 all stats)
stone of eXtreme power and piercing post

Fertilized Ghuol Egg: (Familiar)
Ghuol Egg and Spooky-Gro fertilizer

Full Meat Tank:
Empty Meat Tank and Meat Stack

gnatwing earring: (+10 initiative)
gnatwing and piercing post

Gnollish Autoplunger:
Gnollish Plunger and Meat Engine

Gnoll-Toothed Necklace: (+5 muscle)
Gnoll Teeth and Necklace Chain

Goat: (Familiar)
Goats Cheese and Anticheese

heart of rock and roll:
big rock and Hot Buttered Roll

Heavy Hot Sauce:
Big Rock and Jabanero Pepper

Heavy Metal Sonata:
Drab Sonata and Chrome Ore

Heavy Metal Thunderrr Guitarrr:
acoustic guitarrr and Chrome Ore

Hosed Fishbowl:
Fishbowl and Fish Hose

hosed tank:
fish hose and fishtank

Icy-Hot Katana:
Hot Katana Blade and Icy Katana Hilt

Intergalactic Rowboat: (Allows access to the Hole in the Sky area)
Quantum Egg and S.O.C.K

Lifeless Meat Doll:
Meat Face and Wooden Figurine

maid head:
brainy skull and maiden wig

Makeshift SCUBA Gear:
Hosed Fisbowl and Fish Tank

Meat Cowboy Hat:
Basic Meat Helmet and Whitesnake Skin

Meat Engine:
Full Meat Tank and Cog And Sprocket Assembly

Meat Face:
Dried Face and Fairy Gravy

Meat Golem: (Reduces meat stolen from you in PvP)
Lifeless Meat Doll and Magicalness-In-A-Can

Meat Maid: (Once used, this item adds +4 adventures a day)
maid head and meat maid body

Meat Maid Body: (Formerly the Clockwork Maid, now modified)
Meat Engine and Frilly Skirt

Meat Stack:
Meat From Yesterday and Fairy Gravy

Mighty Bjorn Action Figure:
Action Figure Head and Action Figure Body

Lowercase N and Heavy D

Lowercase N and Original G

ninja pirate zombie robot head:
pirate zombie robot head and cold ninja mask

Box and Spring

Box-In-The-Box and Spring

one-winged stab bat:
Bat Wing and Batblade

oyster basket:
tisket and tasket

Pasta Of Peril:
spaghetti with rock-balls and Pasta Spoon

Phat Turquoise Bracelet: (+5 mysticality)
Hemp Bracelet and Phat Turquoise Bead

pimpin' meat hat:
basic meat helmet and bling-bling

Pirate Skull:
Brainy Skull and Eyepatch

pirate zombie head:
clockwork pirate skull and zombie pineal gland

pirate zombie robot head:
pirate zombie head and glowing red eye

Wrapping Paper and box

Pretty Bouquet: (Used in PvP, reduces attackers stats)
Pretty Flower and Pretty Flower (Pretty Flowers are what you get when you try to take meat in PvP against someone either without meat or with a meat golem.)

Really Sticky Spider Web:
Spider Web and Spider Web

Really Really Sticky Spider Web:
Really Sticky Spider Web and Really Sticky Spider Web

Rewinged Stab Bat: (A familiar)
One Winged Stab Bat and Bat Wing

Rock And Roll Legend: (50 Power, +7 Moxie for Accordion Thieves only, increases AT buff duration)
Heart Of Rock And Roll and Stolen Accordian

Sabre-Toothed Lime Cub:
Sabre Teeth and Lime

Seal Tooth Rock:
Seal Tooth and Big Rock

Skeleton Key:
Skeleton Bone and Loose Teeth

Spaghetti With Rock Balls:
Ravioli Hat and Big Rock

Spooky Glove:
Spooky Gravy Fairy and Small Leather Glove

Spooky Scarecrow: (Campgound item, reduces enemies stats)
Spooky Staff and Wooden Stakes

Spooky Staff:
spooky shrunken head and spooky stick

Sprocket Assembly:
Spring and Sprocket

Stone Banjo:
Banjo Strings and Big Rock

T-Bone Key: (Opens the locked orcish meat locker)
Crusty L Shaped Piece Of Metal and Rusty L Shaped Piece Of Metal

Talisman O'Nam: (+1 all major stats and gives entry to the Palindome)
Snakehead Charrrm and Snakehead Charrrm

tambourine bells and Gnollish Pie Tin

Turtle Factory:
Big Rock and scroll of turtle summoning

Turtle Factory and Slingshot

Ruby W and Metallic A

Wand Of Nagamar:
WA and ND

Wang: (Spell checks for you in chat)
WA and NG

halfberd and halfberd

Cooking Recipes

For information on the effects of food, goto http://www.lysator.liu.se/~jhs/KoL/effects/food.rxml

alarming strawberry juice: (muscle and mysticality set to moxie for 5 turns, must be a trained sauceror to make this)
strawberry and scrumptious reagent

Arse-A'Fire Elixir: (+200% muscle for 5 turns, must be a trained sauceror to make this)
scrumptious reagent and Jabanero Pepper

asparagus stir-fry:
stalk of asparagus and secret blend of herbs and spices

bat haggis:
batgut and spices

bat wing chow mein: (must be a trained pastamancer to make this)
bat wing stir-fry and dry noodles

Bat Wing Kabob:
Bat Wing and skewer

bat wing stir-fry:
bat wing and knob stir-fry

bean burrito:
beans and flat dough

Boring Spaghetti: (must be a trained pastamancer to make this)
dry noodles and tomato

Boris's Key Lime:
Boris's Key and Lime

Boris's Key Lime Pie:
Boris's Key Lime and Pie Crust

Carob Brownies:
Carob Chunks and Uncle Jick's Brownie Mix

Carob Chunk Cookies:
Carob Chunks and Wad Of Dough

Chorizo Taco:
Uncooked Charizo and Taco Shell

Clockwork Grapefruit:
clockwork endoskeleton and grapefruit

cocoa egg:
large cocoa eggshell fragment and large cocoa eggshell fragment

cool mushroom casserole:
cool mushroom and Gnollish casserole dish

Cosmic Lemonade: (double mysticality for 5 turns, must be a trained sauceror to make this))
Scrumptious Reagent and Lemon

cream of pointy mushroom soup:
pointy mushroom and glass of goat's milk

delicious noodles: (must be a trained pastamancer to make this)
dry noodles and herbs

delicious spicy noodles: (must be a trained pastamancer to make this)
dry noodles and secret blend of herbs and spices

dill potion: (+15 all stats for 5 turns, must be a trained sauceror to make this)
dill and scrumptious reagent

drab potion: (muscle set to mysticality for 5 turns, must be a trained sauceror to make this)
scrumptious reagent and olive

Enchanted Bean Burrito:
Enchanted Bean and Flat Dough

equilibruim potion: (muscle and moxie set to mysticality for 5 turns, must be a trained sauceror to make this)
scrumptious reagent and lime

Fancy Schmany Cheese Sauce: (must be a sauceror to make this)
scrumptious reagent and Goats Cheese

Fettucini Inconnu: (must be a trained pastamancer to make this)
Dry Noodles and Fancy Schmany Cheese Sauce

flower petal pie:
pretty flower and pie crust

ghuol-ear kabob:
Ghuol Ear and skewer

ghuol egg quiche:
ghuol egg and pie crust

Gnocchetti Di Nietzsche: (must be a skilled pastamancer to make this)
dry noodles and Himalayan Hidalgo sauce

Goat Cheese Pizza:
Plain Pizza and Goats Cheese

Grapefruit Juice Of Powerful Power: (+50% all stats for 5 turns, must be a trained sauceror to make this)
scrumptious reagent and grapefruit

grue egg omelette:
grue egg and spooky mushroom

Hell Broth: (must be a sauceror to make this)
scrumptious reagent and Hellion Cube

Hell Ramen: (Increases all stats and adventures, must be a skilled pastamancer to make this)
dry noodles and Hell Broth

Herb Brownies:
herbs and Uncle Jick's Brownie Mix

Himalayan Hidalgo sauce: (must be a sauceror to make this)
Scrumptious Reagent and Knob Mushroom

Hippy Herbal Tea:
Guano Coffee Cup and Herbs

Insanely Spicy Bean Burrito:
Spicy Bean Burrito and Jabanero Pepper

Insanely Spicy Enchanted Bean Burrito:
Spicy Enchanted Bean Burrito and Jabanero Pepper

insanely spicy jumping bean burrito:
jabañero pepper + spicy jumping bean burrito

Jarlsberg's Key Lime:
Jarlsberg's Key and Lime

Jarlsberg's Key Lime Pie:
Jarlsberg's Key Lime and Pie Crust

jumping bean burrito:
jumping beans and flat dough

Knob sausage chow mein: (must be a trained pastamancer to make this)
Knob sausage stir-fry and dry noodles

Knob sausage stir-fry:
Knob sausage and Knoll stir-fry

Knob stir-fry:
Knob mushroom and secret blend of herbs and spices

Knoll stir-fry:
Knoll mushroom and secret blend of herbs and spices

large cocoa eggshell fragment:
cocoa eggshell fragment and cocoa eggshell fragment

Lihc Eye Pie: (gives 5 turns of spooky protection)
Pie Crust and Lihc Eye

Lucky Surprise Egg: (gives a tiny plastic figurine)
cocoa egg and ten-leaf clover

maraschino moxiosity potion: (double moxie for 5 turns, must be a trained sauceror to make this)
cherry and scrumptious reagent

catgut and spices

Mushroom Pizza:
Plain Pizza and Knob Mushroom

olive stir-fry:
olive and secret blend of herbs and spices

orangish aphrodisiac: (double moxie for 5 turns, must be a trained sauceror to make this)
scrumptious reagent and orange

painful penne pasta: (must be a trained pastamancer to make this)
dry noodles and Jabanero Pepper

papaya taco:
papaya and taco shell

papotion of papower: (double mysticality for 5 turns, must be a trained sauceror to make this)
papaya and scrumptious reagent

Pie Crust:
Gnollish Pie Tin and wad of dough

Plain Pizza:
Flat Dough and Tomato

potion of chalky equality: (must be a sauceror to make this)
cranberries and scrumptious reagent

Potion Of Temporary Gr8ness: (Doubles all stats for 5 turns, must be a trained sauceror to make this)
Scrumptious Reagent and Gr8ps

Pregnant Mushroom:
Fairy Gravy and Knob Mushroom

pr0n chow mein: (must be a trained pastamancer to make this)
pr0n stir-fry and dry noodles

Pr0n Cocktail:
Pr0n Legs and Catsup/Ketchup

Pr0n m4nic0tti: (must be a trained pastamancer to make this)
Dry noodles and Pr0n legs

Pr0n Stir-Fry:
Pr0n Legs and olive stir-fry

rat appendix chow mein: (must be a trained pastamancer to make this)
rat appendix stir-fry and dry noodles

rat appendix stir-fry:
rat appendix and spooky stir-fry

rat appendix-kabob:
Rat Appendix and skewer

rat scrapple:
ratgut and spices

Ravioli Della Hippy: (must be a trained pastamancer to make this)
Dry Noodles and Wad Of Tofu

Sauce Of The Ages: (must be a sauceror to make this)
Scrumptious Reagent and Knob Sausage

Sausage Pizza:
Plain Pizza and Knob Sausage

secret blend of herbs and spices:
herbs and spices

Knoll mushroom and skewer

Skewered Cat Appendix:
Cat Appendix and skewer

sleazy fairy gravy:
pr0n legs and fairy gravy

Sneaky Pete's Key Lime:
Sneaky Pete's Key and Lime

Sneaky Pete's Key Lime Pie:
Sneaky Pete's Key Lime and Pie Crust

Spaghetti With Skullheads: (must be a trained pastamancer to make this)
dry noodles and Sauce Of The Ages

spectral pickle:
ghost cucumber and ghostly pickling solution

Spicy Bean Burrito:
Bean Burrito and spices

Spicy Enchanted Bean Burrito:
Enchanted Bean Burrito and spices

spicy jumping bean burrito:
jumping bean burrito and spices

spicy mushroom quesadilla:
warm mushroom and flat dough

spicy noodles: (must be a trained pastamancer to make this)
dry noodles and spices

spooky shroomkabob:
spooky mushroom and skewer

spooky stir-fry:
spooky mushroom and secret blend of herbs and spices

stuffed spooky mushroom:
spooky mushroom and goat cheese

tofu casserole:
wad of tofu and Gnollish casserole dish

tofu chow mein: (must be a trained pastamancer to make this)
tofu stir-fry and dry noodles

tofu stir-fry:
wad of tofu and asparagus stir-fry

Tomato Smoothie:(moxie set to mysticality for 5 turns, must be a trained sauceror to make this)
Scrumptious Reagent and Tomato

White Chocolate Chip Cookies:
White Chocolate Chips and Wad Of Dough

wrath serum: (double muscle for 5 turns, must be a trained sauceror to make this)
grapes and scrumptious reagent

Mixing Recipes / Cocktail Crafting

For information on the effects of booze, goto http://www.lysator.liu.se/~jhs/KoL/effects/booze.rxml

A Little Sump'm Sump'm: (must be a trained Disco Bandit to make this)
Martini and Little Paper Umbrella

Bloody Beer:
Ice-Cold Beer and Tomato

Bloody Mary:
Bottle Of Vodka and Tomato

skewered lime and tequila with training wheels

calle de miel: (must be a trained Disco Bandit to make this)
magical ice cubes and margarita

Cool mushroom wine:
Cool mushroom and mushroom fermenting solution

cherry bomb:
old-fashioned and skewered cherry

vodka and cranberry and skewered cranberry

dirty martini:
skewered jumbo olive and dry martini

dry martini:
bottle of gin and jumbo olive

dry vodka martini:
bottle of vodka and jumbo olive

ducha de oro: (must be a trained Disco Bandit to make this)
little paper umbrella and tequila sunrise

spiced rum and ghuol egg

Especially salty dog:
Salty Dog and brine

extra-spicy bloody mary:
Bloody Mary and Spices

Fine Wine:
Fermenting Powder and Grapes

Flaming mushroom wine:
Flaming mushroom and mushroom fermenting solution

Flat mushroom wine:
warm mushroom and mushroom fermenting solution

Fuzzbump: (must be a trained Disco Bandit to make this)
whiskey sour and coconut shell

green beer: (can only be made on St. Sneaky Pete's Day)
ice-cold beer and ten-leaf clover

lime and bottle of rum

skewered lime and grog

horizontal tango: (must be a trained Disco Bandit to make this)
wine spritzer and little paper umbrella

icy mushroom wine:
Frozen mushroom and mushroom fermenting solution

knob mushroom wine:
Knob mushroom and mushroom fermenting solution

knoll mushroom wine:
Knoll mushroom and mushroom fermenting solution

Lumbering Jack:
Blatantly Canadian and bottle of whiskey

bottle of tequila and lemon

Bottle Of Gin and Olive

monkey wrench:
grapefruit and bottle of rum

ocean motion: (must be a trained Disco Bandit to make this)
coconut shell and monkey wrench

cherry and bottle of whiskey

Papaya Sling:
Bottle Of Gin and Papaya

perpendicular hula: (must be a trained Disco Bandit to make this)
magical ice cubes and strawberry daiquiri

Pink Pony: (must be a trained Disco Bandit to make this)
coconut shell and strawberry wine

pointy mushroom wine:
pointy mushroom and mushroom fermenting solution

cranberries and bottle of rum

rockin' wagon: (must be a trained Disco Bandit to make this)
vodka martini and magical ice cubes

Roll In The Hay: (must be a trained Disco Bandit to make this)
whiskey and soda and little paper umbrella

rum and cola:
bottle of rum and Dyspepsi-Cola

Salty Dog:
Bottle Of Gin and Grapefruit

boxed wine and cherry

sangria del diablo:
skewered cherry and sangria

Bottle Of Vodka and Orange

shot of flower schnapps:
fermenting powder and pretty flower

Shot Of Grapefruit Schnapps:
Fermenting Powder and Grapefruit

Shot Of Orange Schnapps:
Fermenting Powder and Orange

Shot Of Tomato Schnapps:
Fermenting Powder and Tomato

skewered cherry:
cherry and tiny plastic sword

skewered cranberry:
cranberries and tiny plastic sword

skewered lime:
lime and tiny plastic sword

skewered jumbo olive:
jumbo olive and tiny plastic sword

Slap And Tickle: (must be a trained Disco Bandit to make this)
Salty Dog and magical ice cubes

Slip 'N' Slide: (must be a trained Disco Bandit to make this)
Screwdriver and coconut shell

spiced rum:
spices and bottle of rum

spooky mushroom wine:
spooky mushroom and mushroom fermenting solution

stinky mushroom wine:
stinky mushroom and mushroom fermenting solution

strawberry daiquiri:
bottle of rum and strawberry

strawberry wine:
strawberry and boxed wine

tequila sunrise:
bottle of tequila and orange

tequila with training wheels:
bottle of tequila and lime

skewered jumbo olive and vodka dry martini

Vodka And Cranberry:
Bottle Of Vodka and Cranberries

vodka martini:
vodka and olive

Whiskey And Cola:
Bottle Of Whiskey and Dyspepsi Cola

whiskey and soda:
bottle of whiskey and soda water

Whiskey Sour:
Bottle Of Whiskey and Lemon

white Canadian:
Bottle Of Vodka and Glass Of Goats Milk

wine spritzer:
soda water and boxed wine

Smithing Recipes

Asbestos Crossbow: (must be a trained Seal Clubber to make this)
Asbestos Crossbow String and Asbestos Meat Stack

Asbestos Crossbow String: (must be a trained Seal Clubber to make this)
Asbestos Ore and Crossbow String

Asbestos Helmet Turtle: (80 power, heat resistance)(must be a trained Turtle Tamer to make this)
Asbestos Ore and Helmet Turtle

Asbestos Meat Stack: (must be a trained Seal Clubber to make this)
Asbestos Ore and Dense Meat Stack

Asbestos Staff: (must be a trained Seal Clubber to make this)
Asbestos Big Stick and Asbestos Meat Stack

Asbestos Stick: (must be a trained Seal Clubber to make this)
Asbestos Ore and Big Stick

Asbestos Sword: (100 power, +9 Muscle)(must be a trained Seal Clubber to make this)
Asbestos Sword Hilt and Asbestos Meat Stack

Asbestos Sword Hilt: (must be a trained Seal Clubber to make this)
Asbestos Ore and Sword Hilt

Basic Meat Crossbow:
Crossbow String and meat stack

basic meat fez: (40 power)
tassel and basic meat helmet

basic meat foon: (50 power, +2 mus, +3 damage)
foon and meat stack

basic meat helmet:
helmet recipe and meat stack

Basic Meat Pants:
Pants Kit and meat stack

basic meat skirt / basic meat kilt:
skirt / kilt kit and meat stack

basic meat spork: (40 power)
spork and meat stack

Basic Meat Staff:
Big Stick and Meat Stack

Basic Meat Sword:
Sword Hilt and Meat Stack

bowlegged pants: (100 Power, +5 Moxie)
bow and basic meat pants

bowler: (100 Power, +5 Muscle)
bow and basic meat helmet

bow staff: (100 Power, +5 Mysticality, +3 damage)
bow and big stick

Chrome Crossbow: (+3 adventures per day)(must be a trained Seal Clubber to make this)
Chrome Crossbow String and Chrome Meat Stack

Chrome Crossbow String: (must be a trained Seal Clubber to make this)
Chrome Ore and Crossbow String

Chrome Helmet Turtle: (120 power, +5 all stats)(must be a trained Turtle Tamer to make this)
chrome ore and meaty helmet turtle

Chrome Meat Stack: (must be a trained Seal Clubber to make this)
Chrome Ore and Dense Meat Stack

Chrome Staff: (+3 adventures per day)(must be a trained Seal Clubber to make this)
Chrome Big Stick and Chrome Meat Stack

Chrome Stick: (must be a trained Seal Clubber to make this)
Chrome Ore and Big Stick

Chrome Sword: (120 power, +3 adventures per day)(must be a trained Seal Clubber to make this)
sturdy sword hilt and Chrome Meat Stack

Crimbo Hat:
Wrapping Paper and Helmet Recipe

Crimbo Pants: (+30% Combat Speed)
Wrapping Paper and Pants Kit

Crimbo Sword:
Wrapping Paper and Sword Hilt

Dripping Meat Crossbow:
Basic Meat Crossbow and Catsup/Ketchup

Dripping Meatstaff:
Basic Meat Staff and Catsup/Ketchup

Dripping Meatsword:
Basic Meat Sword and Catsup/Ketchup

fez of etymology: (120 Power, +7 moxie)
facsimile dictionary and basic meat fez

Furry Pants: (must be a trained Turtle Tamer to make this)
Furry Fur and Pants Kit

furry skirt / furry kilt: (150 Power)(must be a trained Turtle Tamer to make this)
skirt / kilt kit and furry fur

gnauga hide buckler: (Damage Absorption +20, +3 all stats)
gnauga hide and buckler buckle

gnauga hide chaps: (80 power, +30 damage absorption)
gnauga hide and pants kit

gnauga hide skirt / gnauga hide kilt: (80 Power, Damage Absorption +30)(must be a trained Turtle Tamer to make this)
skirt / kilt kit and gnauga hide

gnauga hide whip: (20 power, +3% item drop rate)
gnauga hide and whip kit

grass hat: (80 power, +10 MP)
fake plastic grass and helmet recipe

grass blade: (80 power, +5 Damage)
fake plastic grass and sword hilt

grass skirt: ( 80 power, +5 Mox)
fake plastic grass and skirt / kilt kit

hippo skin buckler: (10% damage absorption, +5 muscle)(must be a trained Turtle Tamer to make this)
hippopotamus skin and buckler buckle

hippo whip: (20 power, +5 monster level)(must be a trained Seal Clubber to make this)
hippopotamus skin and whip kit

Hippopotamus Pants: (+25 Max HP)(must be a trained Turtle Tamer to make this)
hippopotamus skin and pants kit

hippopotamus skirt / hippopotamus kilt: (130 Power, Max HP +25)(must be a trained Turtle Tamer to make this)
skirt / kilt kit and hippopotamus skin

Kentucky-Fried Meat Crossbow:
basic meat crossbow and Secret Blend Of Herbs And Spices

Kentucky-Fried Meat Staff:
Basic Meat Staff and Secret Blend Of Herbs And Spices

Kentucky-fried meat sword:
Basic Meat Sword and Secret Blend Of Herbs And Spices

Linoleum Crossbow: (100 Power, Max HP/MP +10)(must be a trained Seal Clubber to make this)
Linoleum Crossbow String and Linoleum Meat Stack

Linoleum Crossbow String: (must be a trained Seal Clubber to make this)
Linoleum Ore and Crossbow String

Linoleum Helmet Turtle: (100 power, Maximum HP/MP +10)(must be a trained Turtle Tamer to make this)
Linoleum Meat Stack and Helmet Turtle

Linoleum Meat Stack: (must be a trained Seal Clubber to make this)
Linoleum Ore and Dense Meat Stack

Linoleum Staff: (100 Power, Max MP +20)(must be a trained Seal Clubber to make this)
Linoleum Big Stick and Linoleum Meat Stack

Linoleum Stick: (must be a trained Seal Clubber to make this)
Linoleum Ore and Big Stick

Linoleum Sword: (100 power, +20 Max HP)(must be a trained Seal Clubber to make this)
Linoleum Sword Hilt and Linoleum Meat Stack

Linoleum Sword Hilt: (must be a trained Seal Clubber to make this)
Linoleum Ore and Sword Hilt

Meat Cowboy Hat:
Whitesnake Skin and Basic Meat Helmet

Meatloaf Helmet:
Basic Meat Helmet and Catsup/Ketchup

meaty helmet turtle: (70 Power)(must be a trained Turtle Tamer to make this)
Dense Meat Stack and helmet turtle

penguinskin mini-skirt / penguinskin mini-kilt: (120 Power, Combat Initiative +20%)(must be a trained Turtle Tamer to make this)
skirt / kilt kit and penguin skin

Penguin Shorts: (80 power, +20% initiative)(must be a trained Turtle Tamer to make this)
penguin skin and pants kit

penguin skin buckler: (10% damage absorption, +5 moxie)(must be a trained Turtle Tamer to make this)
penguin skin and buckler buckle

penguin whip: (20 power, +3% meat from combat)(must be a trained Seal Clubber to make this)
penguin skin and whip kit

time helmet: (100 Power, +3 adv/day)
petrified time and helmet recipe

time sword: (100 Power, +3 adv/day)
petrified time and sword hilt

time trousers: (100 Power, +3 adv/day)
petrified time and pants kit

Pimpin' Meat Hat:
Basic Meat Helmet and Bling Bling

raspberry beret: (50 power hat, So-So Hot Resistance)
basic meat helmet and raspberry

sequined fez: (80 power, +3 Mox)
basic meat fez and teeny-tiny ninja stars

Sticky Meat Pants:
Basic Meat Pants and Really Really Sticky Spider Web

sticky meat skirt / sticky meat kilt: (45 Power, Mox +3)
really really sticky spider web and basic meat skirt / basic meat kilt

sword behind inappropriate prepositions: (120 power, +7 Mus, +5 adventures a day)
chrome sword and facsimile dictionary

eXtreme meat crossbow: (60 power, +7 Mox)
Basic Meat Crossbow and stone of eXtreme power

eXtreme Meat Staff: (60 power, +7 Mys)
Basic Meat Staff and stone of eXtreme power

eXtreme Meat Sword: (60 power, +7 Mus)
Basic Meat Sword and stone of eXtreme power

Yakskin Pants: (must be a trained Turtle Tamer to make this)
Yak Skin and Pants Kit

yak skin buckler: (10% damage absorption, +5 mysticality)(must be a trained Turtle Tamer to make this)
yak skin and buckler buckle

yakskin skirt / yakskin kilt: (140 Power, Max MP +25)(must be a trained Turtle Tamer to make this)
skirt / kilt kit and yak skin

yak whip: (20 power, weakens opponent)(must be a trained Seal Clubber to make this)
yak skin and whip kit

Jewelrymaking Recipes

You need the jewelry-making pliers before you can begin creating jewerly. It will cost 3 adventures to make jewelry.

baconstone ring: (+5 Mys, +2 Mox, and +3 Mus)
ring setting and baconstone

hamethyst ring: (+5 Mus, +2 Mys, +3 Mox)
ring setting and hamethyst

porquoise ring: (+5 Mox, +2 Mus, and +3 Mys)
ring setting and porquoise

porquoise eyebrow ring: (+5 Mox, +6 HP/MP)
piercing post and porquoise

Baconstone Earring: (+5 Mys, +10 MP)
piercing post and baconstone

hamethyst earring: (+5 Mus, +10 HP)
piercing post and hamethyst

porquoise necklace: (+4 Mox, +10% meat from monsters)
necklace chain and porquoise

baconstone pendant: (+4 Mys, +10 spell damage)
necklace chain and baconstone

hamethyst necklace: (+4 Mus, +5 melee damage, +3 PvP fights per day)
necklace chain and hamethyst

porquoise bracelet: (+4 Mox, never fumble)
hemp bracelet and porquoise

baconstone bracelet: (+2 Mys, -1 MP per skill use)
hemp bracelet and baconstone

hamethyst bracelet: (+3 Mus, 3x chance of Critical Hit)
hemp bracelet and hamethyst

Supertinkering Recipes

Requires access to the supertinkerer in the Gnomish Gnomads' Camp (must have a moxie sign).

clockwork thingamajig:
flange + cog + spring

clockwork claws:
clockwork thingamajig + spring + sprocket

clockwork rings:
clockwork thingamajig + flange + sprocket

clockwork spine:
clockwork widget + cog + spring

clockwork widget:
cog + flange + sprocket

clockwork doohickey:
flange + spring + sprocket

clockwork clockwise dome:
clockwork widget + flange + spring

clockwork counterclockwise dome:
clockwork doohickey + cog + sprocket

clockwork sphere:
clockwork clockwise dome + clockwork counterclockwise dome + clockwork key

deactivated MicroMechaMech:
clockwork spine + clockwork claws + clockwork key

clockwork endoskeleton:
clockwork claws + clockwork counterclockwise dome + clockwork key

clockwork trench coat:
clockwork spine + clockwork sheet + clockwork key

clockwork sheet:
clockwork doohickey + flange + cog

clockwork pants:
clockwork sheet + clockwork rings + clockwork key

clockwork hat:
clockwork clockwise dome + clockwork rings + clockwork key

clockwork maid: (+8 adventures per day, replaces the meat maid)
clockwork maid head + meat maid body

clockwork maid head:
clockwork sphere + maiden wig

clockwork bartender-in-the-box:
clockwork bartender-head-in-the-box + cocktailcrafting kit

clockwork bartender-head-in-the-box:
clockwork bartender head + nothing-in-the-box

clockwork bartender head:
clockwork sphere + beer goggles

clockwork chef-in-the-box:
clockwork chef-head-in-the-box + E-Z Cook Oven™

clockwork chef-head-in-the-box:
clockwork chef head + nothing-in-the-box

clockwork chef head:
clockwork sphere + chef's hat

clockwork detective skull:
clockwork sphere + gnoll lips

7) -Trophies-

Trophies are purely for display in your campground. In addition to the following requirements, you will need 10,000 meat.

100 Pound Load:
The total weight of your familiars must be 100lbs unbuffed. This weight calculator comes in handy when determining total weight.

300 Pound Load:
The total weight of your familiars must be 300lbs.

Black Hole Terrarium:
The total weight of your familiars must be 500lbs.

99 Red Balloons:
Use 99 red balloons (use multiple menu). Red Balloons can be purchased from The Gift Shop after your 26th ascension.

Little Boat:
Take 100 Trips at the Shore.

Best Meal of My Life:
Consume 60 White Citadel burgers, 10 White Citadel fries, 4 Cherry Cloaca Colas and 4 Diet Cloaca Colas.

Big Boat:
Take 1000 Trips at the Shore.

Boss Boss:
Defeat the Boss Bat, Goblin King, Baron von Ratsworth, and Bonerdagon with The Super-Secret Canadian Mind-Control Device set to 11.

Bouquet of Hippes:
Eat 420 herb brownies (cook herbs and Uncle Jick's Brownie Mix together).

Brass Bowling Trophy Trophy:
During the strange leaflet quest you come across a house with a fireplace. Light the fireplace then examine the fireplace. You should see a trophy. Take it. There appears to be an element of randomness in that not everyone gets the trophy every time.

Der Toastdieb:
Steal toast in PvP.

Disgusting Cocktail:
Drink 5 tomato daiquiris (sometimes spit out by an exploding bartender after trying cocktail craft too many items at once).

Easy Come Easy Go:
Discard pretty flower from inventory.

Eerily Skilled:
Acquire all of the six Spookyraven skills permanently.

Failure to Communicate:
Eat 50 Lucky Surprise Eggs (cook cocoa egg and ten-leaf clover together).

Festive Dismemberment:
Use a Knob Goblin firecracker on July 4th.

Friend of Elves:
Kill 10 reindeer at the Crimbo Town Toy Factory with the Unionize The Elves sign equiped. The Unionize The Elves sign can be found at the Crimbo Town Toy Factory. You can increase the chance of the sign dropping by equiping a ring of conflict or using deordorant (anything that reduces the chance of combat).

Reindeer Hunter:
Kill 100 reindeer at the Crimbo Town Toy Factory with the Unionize The Elves sign equiped. The Unionise the Elves sign can be found at the Crimbo Town Toy Factory.

Gadget Inspector:
Find ten clockwork keys in a single Ascension (must be dropped by an enemy, not bought).

Gender Bender:
Get your sex changed 30 times in the Sleazy Back Alley.

Golden Meat Stack:
Visit the trophy hut with 1,000,000 meat during a hardcore ascension.

While in hardcore, complete the Gourd quest 21 times (up to 25 items).

Jack of Several Trades:
Acquire all of the Gnome skills permanently.

Let My Bugbears Go:
Visit the Bugbear Pens in a bugbear outfit and get the "A Day in the Life" adventure. You must have first completed the Spooky Gravy Barrow quest.

Little Chickadee:
You must have at least 1000 drunkenness when you try to purchase the trophy. You can do this by using ! potions. ! potions, also called bang potions, can be found by using either a "large box" or a "small box" which are available at The Dungeons of Doom.

Look, Ma! No Pants!:
You must not have worn pants at the end of 2005 (New Year's 2006). AKA The Pantsless trophy.

Silver Yeti:
Use the "Yeti Protest Sign" 10 times. No longer attainable.

Golden Yeti:
Use the "Yeti Protest Sign" 100 times. No longer attainable.

I Heart Canadia:
Drink 30 white Canadians.

Have a Pagoda in your Campground.

Platinum Skull:
Eat 5 Spaghetti With Skullheads.

Discard a banana peel and adventure until you get the Schadenfreude event. Do this a total of three times.

Slice and Dice:
Ascend with a 20 lb stab bat as your familiar.

The Butler Did It:
Read the Manual of Dexterity, Labor, or Transmission approximately 30 times in a single ascension.

The Ghuol Cup:
Eat 11 ghuol guolashes.

The Three Amigos:
Donate one million meat to each statue in The Hall of The Legends of The Times of Old. This can occur over the course of several ascensions.

This Stupid Trophy:
Be present for the Ascension roll out (June 9, 2005). AKA This lousy trophy. No longer attainable.

Three-Tiered Trophy:
With a stomach of steel (requires you to be on a Teetotaller ascension) and on the Feast of Boris day, eat a three-tiered wedding cake (available at the gift shop after your 7th ascension).

Tiny Plastic Trophy:
Get all 32 tiny plastic figures in your display case.

Trivially Skilled:
Permanently keep the starting skill of every class (six of them).

Weeping Pizza:
Eat 5 White Chocolate And Tomato Pizzas.

Your Log Saw Something That Night:
Enter the text 'Laura Palmer' into the notes section of the quest log. A.K.A. the instatrophy.

Scourge of Seals:
Reach level 30 in the Seal Clubber class.

Tzar of Turtles:
Reach level 30 in the Turtle Tamer class.

Sauciest Saucier:
Reach level 30 in the Sauceror class.

Potentate of Pasta:
Reach level 30 in the Pastamancer class.

Maestro of Mariachi:
Reach level 30 in the Accordion Thief class.

Duke of Disco:
Reach level 30 in the Disco Bandit class.

8) -Item Locations-

For item statistics, visit KoL: Item Effects
  1. Cobb's Knob
  2. Crimbo Town
  3. Degrassi Knoll
  4. Fernswarthy's Tower
  5. Little Canadia
  6. Mt. McLargeHuge
  7. Orcish Frat House
  8. South of the Border
  9. The Barrel Full Of Barrels
  10. The Bat Hole
  11. The Castle In The Clouds In The Sky
  12. The Deep Fat Friars' Gate
  13. The Daily Dungeon
  14. The Dungeons of Doom
  15. The "Fun" House
  16. The Haiku Dungeon
  17. The Haunted Pantry
  18. The Hermitage
  19. The Hippy Camp
  20. The Hole In The Sky
  21. The Limerick Dungeon
  22. The Misspelled Cemetary
  23. The Obligatory Pirate's Cove
  24. The Palindome
  25. The Penultimate Fantasy Airship
  26. The Sewer
  27. The Shore, Inc. Travel Agency
  28. The Sleazy Back Alley
  29. The Spooky Forest
  30. Spooky Gravy Barrow
  31. Spookyraven Manor
  32. The Thatch-Roofed Casino
  33. The Typical Tavern
  34. The Valley Beyond The Orc Chasm
  35. Thugnderdome
  36. Whitey's Grove
Other item locations
  1. Tome of Snowcone Summoning
  2. McPhee's Grimoire of Hilarious Object Summoning
  3. Exploded items
  4. Unavailable items
  5. Quest Related Items
  6. Frequent Traveler Rewards (Shore)
  1. A Suspicious-Looking Guy
  2. Doc Galaktik's Medicine Show
  3. The Bugbear Bakery
  4. The Demon Market
  5. The Gift Shop
  6. The Hippy Store
  7. The Knob Goblin Laboratory
  8. The Meatsmith's Shop
  9. The Shadowy Store
  10. The Smacketeria
  11. Gouda's Grimoire and Grocery
  12. Degrassi Knoll General Store
  13. Degrassi Knoll Bakery
  14. Little Canadia Jewelers
  15. Chez Snooteé
  16. The Gnomish Micromicrobrewery
  17. The Armory and Leggery
Cobb's Knob:
 Outskirts of the Knob:
  bowl of cottage cheese
  chef's hat
  Dr. Hobo's map
  Knob Goblin firecracker
  Knob Goblin pants
  Knob Goblin scimitar
  Knob Goblin tongs
  Knob Goblin Uberpants (must have a ten-leaf clover in your inventory)
  Strongness elixir
  viking helmet

 Cobb's Knob Kitchens:
  dry noodles
  Knob Kitchen Grab-Bag (must have a ten-leaf clover in inventory) (gives a random assortment of knob kitchen items)
  Knob mushroom
  Knob sausage
  wad of dough

 Cobb's Knob Treasury:
  Dense Meat stack (must have a ten-leaf clover in your inventory)
  Knob Goblin elite helm
  Knob Goblin elite pants
  Knob Goblin elite polearm
  Knob Goblin visor
  meat stack

 Cobb's Knob Harem:
  Knob Goblin elite helm
  Knob Goblin elite pants
  Knob Goblin elite polearm
  Knob Goblin harem pants
  Knob Goblin harem veil
  Knob Goblin perfume (guaranteed drop with a ten-leaf clover)

 Knob Goblin Laboratory:
  Knob Goblin love potion
  Knob Goblin seltzer
  Knob Goblin steroids
  Knob Goblin superseltzer
  scrumptious reagent

 Cobb's Knob Menagerie, Level 1:

 Cobb's Knob Menagerie, Level 2:
  giant moxie weed
  moxie weed

 Cobb's Knob Menagerie, Level 3:
  bottle of gin
  bottle of rum
  bottle of tequila
  bottle of whiskey
  bottle of vodka
  boxed wine

 The Knob Shaft: (Enemies are resistant to physical damage here, use elemental spells/items)
  bubblewrap ore
  styrofoam ore
  cardboard ore

Crimbo Town:
 googly eye
 length of string
 toy wheel
 wooden block

Degrassi Knoll:
 Bugbear Beanie
 Bugbear Bungguard
 Degrassi Knoll Shopping List
 Empty Meat Tank
 frilly skirt
 gnoll lips
 gnoll teeth
 Gnollish Flyswatter
 Gnollish Pie Tin
 Gnollish Plunger
 Gnollish toolbox
 ice-cold Willer
 Knoll mushroom
 maiden wig
 wad of dough

Fernswarthy's Tower:
 disembodied brain
 taco shell
 uncooked chorizo
 wad of dough

Little Canadia:
 Outskirts of Camp Logging Camp:
  forest tears
  pine tar
  shaving cream

 Camp Logging Camp:
  balaclava baklava
  Blatantly Canadian
  disbelief suspenders
  jack flapper
  los chinos
  maple syrup
  supportive bra
  wooden axe
Mt. McLargeHuge:
 Itznotyersitz Mine:
  7-Foot Dwarven Mattock
  asbestos ore (Must be wearing the Mining Gear)
  chrome ore (Must be wearing the Mining Gear)
  linoleum ore (Must be wearing the Mining Gear)
  meat stack (Must be wearing the Mining Gear)
  Miner's Helmet
  Miner's Pants
  stone of eXtreme power (Must be wearing the Mining Gear)

 The Goatlet:
  bottle of whiskey
  glass of goat's milk
  goat cheese
  goat beard
  sabre teeth

 The eXtreme Slope:
  eXtreme mittens
  eXtreme scarf
  frigid ninja stars
  Mountain Stream soda
  snowboarder pants
  t8er tots

 The Icy Peak:
  bag of Cheat-Os
  crazy little Turkish delight
  ga-ga radio
  insanely spicy bean burrito
  penguin skin
  ram stick
  Ram's Face Ale
  ram horns
  six pack of Mountain Stream
  unrefined Mountain Stream syrup
  yeti fur

 The Icy Peak in the Recent Past: (Area does not exist anymore)
  delicious noodles
  iron pasta spoon
  kneecapping stick
  mafia aria
  Mob Penguin cellular phone
  penguin skin
  scroll of pasta summoning
  support cummerbund
  yeti fur

 The Lair of the Ninja Snowmen:
  Cold Ninja Mask
  Frigid Ninja Stars
  frozen nunchaku
  Icy Katana Hilt
  ninja mop
  ninja hot pants
  rice bowl
  ridiculously overelaborate ninja weapon

Orcish Frat House:
 bottle of gin
 bottle of vodka
 homoerotic frat-paddle
 Ice-cold Sir Schlitz
 ice-cold fotie
 Orcish baseball cap
 Orcish cargo shorts
 handfull of drink tickets (must have a ten-leaf clover in your inventory)
 roll of drink tickets (Visit the Orcish Frat House dressed in the Frat Boy Ensemble suit with a ten-leaf clover
                        in your inventory to get this. Using the roll with give you six random bottles of alcohol.)

Seaside Town, 28 Days Later: (This location is not currently in the game)
 Market Square, 28 Days Later:
  asparagus knife
  chef's hat
  dirty hobo gloves
  frilly shirt
  frilly skirt
  Knob Goblin pants
  Knob Goblin tongs
  Mad Train wine
  maiden wig
  moxie weed
  razor-sharp can lid
  stalk of asparagus
  wad of dough
  zombie pineal gland

 The Mall of Loathing, 28 Days Later:
  big red clown nose
  bloody clown pants
  bottle of tequila
  filthy corduroys
  homoerotic frat-paddle
  ice-cold beer
  long skinny balloon
  loose teeth
  piece of wedding cake
  zombie pineal gland

 Wrong Side of the Tracks, 28 Days Later:
  33398 scroll
  awful poetry journal
  draggin' ball hat
  Mountain Stream Soda
  scroll of drastic healing
  snakehead charrrm
  soft green echo eyedrop antidote
  thin black candle
  Warm Subject gift certificate
  zombie pineal gland

South of the Border
 bottle of tequila
 can of Red Minotaur
 chorizo taco
 handsomeness potion
 irate sombrero
 jabañero-flavored chewing gum
 jumping beans
 lime-and-chile-flavored chewing gum
 mariachi G-string
 marzipan skull
 Meleegra™ pills
 pickle-flavored chewing gum
 pile of candy
 poultrygeist (bet on "the other one" in the "Finger-Lickin'... Death." cockfight)
 questionable taco
 tamarind-flavored chewing gum

The Barrel Full Of Barrels:
 bloody mary
 bottle of gin
 bottle of rum
 bottle of tequila
 bottle of vodka
 bottle of whiskey
 boxed wine
 concentrated magicalness pill
 Doc Galaktik's Ailment Ointment
 Doc Galaktik's Homeopathic Elixir
 Doc Galaktik's Restorative Balm
 enchanted barbell
 extra-strength strongness elixir
 fine wine
 giant moxie weed
 Knob Goblin seltzer
 Knob Goblin superseltzer
 monkey wrench
 moxie weed
 salty dog
 shot of grapefruit schnapps
 shot of orange schnapps
 shot of tomato schnapps
 soda water
 strawberry daiquiri
 strawberry wine
 strongness elixir
 suntan lotion of moxiousness
 tequila sunrise
 vodka and cranberry
 whiskey and cola
 whiskey sour
 white Canadian
 wine spritzer

The Bat Hole:
  bat wing
  bat guano
  Pine-Fresh air freshener
  wad of dough

 Guano Junction:
  bat guano
  bat wing
  broken skull
  loose teeth
  vampire heart

 The Batrat and Ratbat Burrow:
  bat guano
  bat wing
  rat appendix

The Castle In The Clouds In The Sky:
 Angry Farmer candy
 awful poetry journal
 chaos butterfly
 disturbing fanfic
 furry fur
 giant needle
 Heavy D
 Mick's IcyVapoHotness Rub
 Original G
 plot hole
 probability potion
 procrastination potion
 Thin Black Candle
 Warm Subject gift certificate
 wolf mask

The Daily Dungeon:
From treasure chests in room 1-9:
 can of maces
 concentrated magicalness pill
 enchanted barbell
 extra-strength strongness elixir
 giant moxie weed
 Pick-O-Matic lockpicks
 potato sprout
 ring of half-assed regeneration
 rubber axe
 skeleton key
 skeleton key ring
 suntan lotion of moxiousness
 walrus-tusk earring
From room 10:
 Boris's key
 Boris's ring
 Jarlsberg's earring
 Jarlsberg's key
 Sneaky Pete's breath spray
 Sneaky Pete's key

The Deep Fat Friars' Gate:
 diamond-studded cane
 evil golden arch
 flaming crutch
 hellion cube
 Hey Deze Map
 Hot Katana Blade
 hot wing
 Imp Ale
 infernal insoles
 leather mask
 Ninja Hot Pants
 ruby W
 wussiness potion

The Dungeons of Doom:
 baby killer bee
 large box
 mind flayer corpse
 ring of aggravate monster
 royal jelly
 small box
 vorpal blade

The "Fun" House:
 acid-squirting flower
 big red clown nose
 bloody clown pants
 bottle of gin
 bottle of rum
 bottle of tequila
 bottle of whiskey
 bottle of vodka
 boxed wine
 bugbear beanie
 bugbear bungguard
 clown shoes
 clown skin
 foolscap fool's cap
 long skinny balloon
 polka-dot bowtie (pickpocket)

The Haiku Dungeon:
 bling-bling  (Requires ten-leaf clover)
 Bugbear Bungguard
 crusty L-shaped piece of metal
 Fairy Gravy
 ice-cold beer (Willer)
 locked Orcish meat locker
 meat from yesterday
 rusty L-shaped piece of metal

The Haunted Pantry:
 Asparagus Knife
 meat paste
 Pretentious Paint
 razor-sharp can lid
 stalk of asparagus
 The Dolphin Kings Map

The Hermitage:
 wooden figurine
 hot buttered roll
 banjo strings
 jabañero pepper
 fortune cookie
 golden twig
 sweet rims
 dingy planks
 ten-leaf clover (has a certain chance of showing up here every day)

The Hippy Camp:
 carob chunks
 decorative fountain
 Feng Shui for Big Dumb Idiots
 filthy corduroys
 filthy knitted dread sack
 fruit bowl (Requires a ten-leaf clover)
 fruit basket (Requires a ten-leaf clover and the Filthy Hippy Disguise)
 hemp bracelet
 henna tattoo (Must wear the Filthy Hippy Disguise)
 Jug-O-Magicalness (Need disguise)
 necklace chain
 patchouli incense stick
 phat turquoise bead
 piercing post
 secret blend of herbs and spices (Need disguise)
 tambourine bells
 Uncle Jick's Brownie Mix
 vial of patchouli oil (Need disguise)
 wad of tofu

The Hole In The Sky:
 star chart

The Limerick Dungeon:
 dungeoneer's dungarees
 foon  (You need a ten-leaf clover in your inventory)

The Misspelled Cemetary:
 dead guy's watch (+1 adventures a day)
 disembodied brain
 ghuol ears
 ghuol egg
 ghuol guolash
 grave robbing shovel
 lihc eye
 lihc face
 loose teeth
 skeleton bone
 smart skull
 spiked femur

The Obligatory Pirate's Cove:
 abridged dictionary (must be wearing the Swashbuckling Getup)
 acoustic guitarrr
 arrrgyle socks
 bottle of rum
 pirate pelvis
 safarrri hat
 skeleton bone (must be wearing the Swashbuckling Getup)
 snakehead charrrm
 spices (must be wearing the Swashbuckling Getup)
 stuffed shoulder parrot
 sunken chest
 swashbuckling pants

The Palindome:
 bat wing
 bottle of gin
 drab sonata
 cat appendix
 Elf Farm Raffle ticket
 enormous belt buckle
 Guitar Pick
 Ketchup Hound
 leather chaps
 mesh cap
 suntan lotion of moxiousness
 taco shell

The Penultimate Fantasy Airship:
 Amulet of Extreme Plot Significance
 cocoa eggshell fragment
 Giant Castle Map
 glowing red eye
 Metallic A
 Mohawk wig
 oversized pizza cutter
 Penultimate Fantasy chest
 phonics down
 photoprotoneutron torpedo
 ridiculously huge sword
 scroll of drastic healing
 soft green echo eyedrop antidote
 super-spikey hair gel
 tiny house
 titanium assault umbrella

The Sewer:
 Disco Ball
 Disco Mask
 helmet turtle
 Mariachi Pants
 Pasta Spoon
 Ravioli Hat
 Scroll Of Turtle Summoning
 Seal Clubbing Club
 seal tooth
 stolen accordion
 worthless gewgaw
 worthless knick-knack
 worthless trinket

The Shore, Inc. Travel Agency:
 Tropical Paradise Island Getaway:
  coconut bikini top
  floral print shirt
  Ice-Cold Six Pack
  little paper umbrella
  tropical orchids
  Valuable Trinket

 Distant Lands Dude Ranch Adventure:
  coconut shell
  gingham blouse
  stick of dynamite
  ten-leaf clover
  rhinestone cowboy shirt

 Large Donkey Mountain Ski Resort:
  abominable snowcone
  Barbed-Wire Fence
  magical ice cubes
  souvenir ski t-shirt

The Sleazy Back Alley:
 bum cheek
 dirty hobo gloves
 Mad Train wine
 moxie weed
 spider web
 the Slug Lord's map

The Spooky Forest:
 bar skin
 barskin hat
 Bottle of used blood (must have the vampire heart to trade)
 bowl of lucky charms (must have a ten-leaf clover)
 dried face
 helmet turtle
 mosquito larva
 moxie weed
 scroll of turtle summoning
 Spooky-Gro Fertilizer
 spooky mushroom
 spooky sapling
 spooky shrunken head
 spooky stick
 Spooky Temple map (Select the first option in the 'Maps and Legends' adventure)
 vampire heart (with wooden stakes equipped)
 wooden stakes

Spooky Gravy Barrow (requires an elemental gravy fairy familiar):
 enchanted toothpick
 spooky fairy gravy
 spooky mushroom
 small leather glove
 teeny-tiny ninja stars
 tiny ninja sword

Spookyraven Manor:
 The Haunted Billiards Room:
  pool cue
  handful of hand chalk
  9-ball (with a clover)

 Haunted Kitchen:
  chef's hat
  corn holder
  cardboard katana
  fricasseed brains
  stale baguette
  ancient frozen dinner
  leftovers of indeterminate origin
  bottle of popskull
  brains casserole (use a clover)

 Haunted Conservatory:
  pile of dusty animal bones
  meat stack

 The Haunted Library:
  tattered scrap of paper
  disintegrating quill pen
  snifter of thoroughly aged brandy

 The Haunted Gallery:
  antique greaves
  antique helmet
  antique spear
  antique shield
  broken sword
  lupine sword
  snarling wolf shield
  serpentine sword
  snake shield

 The Haunted Bathroom:
  bottle of Monsieur Bubble
  cardboard wakizashi
  gob of wet hair
  roll of toilet paper

 The Haunted Bedroom:
  grouchy restless spirit
  old coin purse
  old leather wallet

 The Haunted Ballroom:
  dance card
  dehydrated caviar
  desiccated apricot
  flute of flat champagne
  tap shoes
  worn tophat

The Thatch-Roofed Casino:
 Fruit Insanity:
  jumbo olive
 The Poker Room:
  sweet ninja sword
 Lemon Party slot:
  big rock (must have a ten-leaf clover)
  plastic passion fruit
  jumbo olive

The Typical Tavern:
 The Tavern Cellar (during the rat quest):
  Baron Von Ratsworth's monocle
  bottle of rum
  boxed wine
  ice-cold beer (Sir Schlitz)
  ice-cold beer (Willer)
  ice-cold fotie
  rat appendix
  rat whisker
 After the rat quest is completed:
  beer lens

The Valley Beyond The Orc Chasm:
 1337 7r0uZ0RZ
 30669 scroll
 33398 Scroll
 334 Scroll
 Draggin' Ball Hat
 Flaming Talons
 Lowercase N
 meat vortex
 pr0n legs
 Spam Witch sammich
 Tasty Fun Good Rice Candy
 Trollhouse Cookies

 clockwork key
 gnauga hide

Whitey's Grove:
 boxed wine
 mullet wig
 piece of wedding cake
 White Castle burger
 White Castle fries
 white chocolate chips
 white collar
 white lightning
 white picket fence
 white satin pants
 white satin shield
 white sword
 whitesnake skin

Tome of Snowcone Summoning:
 Green Snowcone (Green Tongue effect adds +5 to familiar weight)
 Red Snowcone (Red Tongue effect makes you get 25% more meat from monsters)
 Purple Snowcone (Purple Tongue effect recovers 20HP/MP at the end of each adventure)
 Orange Snowcone (Orange Tongue effect increases the stats gained in battle)
 Blue Snowcone (Blue Tongue effect increases the item drop rate bt 25%)
 Black Snowcone (Black Tongue has the effect of all the snowcones at once)

McPhee's Grimoire of Hilarious Object Summoning:
 bag of airline peanuts
 clown hammer
 defective skull
 explosion-flavored chewing gum
 fake fake vomit
 fake hand
 jazz soap
 magical ice cube with a fly in it
 pet rock "Groucho" disguise
 pet rock "Snooty" disguise
 rubber emo roe
 the Amulet of Yendor
 whoopie cushion
 wind-up chattering teeth
 x-ray specs
 yellow snowcone

A Journey to the Center of Your Mind:
  orange-frosted astral cupcake
  blue-frosted astral cupcake
  pink-frosted astral cupcake
  green-frosted astral cupcake
  purple-frosted astral cupcake
  Cerebral Cloche
  Cerebral Crossbow
  Cerebral Culottes
  homeopathic healing powder
  ice stein
  munchies pill

Exploded drinks: (Randomly spit out when a bartender-in-the-box explodes from making a large number of drinks)
 papaya slung
 salty slug
 tomato daiquiri

Exploded food: (Randomly spit out when a chef-in-the-box explodes from too much cooking)
 carob chunk noodles
 chorizo brownies
 white chocolate and tomato pizza

Unavailable items: (You are no longer able to get these items in the game)
 blood rose
 bow staff
 bowlegged pants
 Comfy Blanket
 Crimbo hat
 Crimbo pants
 Crimbo Pressie
 Crimbo sword
 Doc's Miracle Cure
 empty blowgun
 Ent cider
 loaded serum blowguns
 Lovecat Tail
 Oriole Feather Headdress
 Plastic Passion Fruit
 Questionable Taco
 rose tinted glasses
 sober pill
 tiny plastic sword
 tortise's blessing
 Wrapping Paper
 Yeti Protest Sign
 zombie pineal gland

Quest Related Items:
Star Stuff - Adventure at the Hole In The Sky to get Star Charts, Stars and Lines. Use the Star Chart and you will be able to enter combinations of Stars and Lines. You can make one item per Star Chart.

 Star Buckler   - 4 Stars, 6 Lines
 star boomerang	- 4 Stars, 5 Lines
 star spatula   - 5 Stars, 5 Lines
 Star Crossbow  - 5 Stars, 6 Lines
 star stiletto	- 5 Stars, 4 Lines
 Star Hat       - 5 Stars, 3 Lines
 Star Pants     - 7 Stars, 7 Lines
 Star Staff     - 6 Stars, 5 Lines
 Star Starfish  - 6 Stars, 4 Lines
 Star Sword     - 7 Stars, 4 Lines
 Star Throwing Star - 4 Stars, 2 Lines
 Richard's Star Key - 8 Stars, 7 Lines
 Star Shirt	- 15 Stars, 15 Lines

Pixel Stuff - Travel to the Distant Woods and visit The Crackpot Mystic's Shed. Listen to his entire story to get a Continuum Transfuctioner. You will need the transfuctioner equiped (and have your primary stat above 20) before you can access the The Inexplicable Door, located in the Distant Woods. Adventure in this new location to gather pixels, which can be used by the Mystic to make Pixel items.

 white Pixel (1 red, 1 green, 1 blue)
 red Pixel potion (2 red, 3 black) - Heal 25-30 HP
 blue Pixel potion (2 blue, 3 black) - Recover 25-30 MP
 green Pixel potion (3 green, 4 black) - Recovers 18-20 HP/MP
 purple Pixel pie (2 red, 2 blue, 5 white)
 Pixel hat (10 white, 15 green)
 Pixel pants (20 red, 10 black)
 Pixel sword (20 white, 10 black, 10 blue)
 pixel shield (20 red, 10 black, 10 white) - Muscle +5
 Digital key (30 white)
 monster bait (20 red, 15 white) - Monsters will be more attracted to you

Frequent Traveler Rewards - At the Shore, you can take unlimited trips at 3 locations. The first place gives Muscle (or occasionally a Ten-leaf clover, an anticheese, or an abomitable snowcone), the second Mysticality (sometimes giving three valuable trinkets or two ice-cold six-packs) and the third Moxie (sometimes giving a Barbed-Wire Fence or a cast). Each trip costs 500 Meat and 3 Adventures.

  5 Trips - Dinghy Plans (Used to build a Dinghy dinghy to get to The Mysterious Island of Mystery)
 12 Trips - Meat Globe (Gives meat and stats)
 23 Trips - Fuzzy Dice (A familiar)
 32 Trips - Cheap Toaster (Can make three pieces of toast every day. Toast will give 1-2 adventures when you eat it.)

        Shop Lists:
A Suspicious-Looking Guy
 Goofballs - 0 (Increases by 1000 each purchase) (Goofballs enhance your stats for one day, then you enter "Goofball Withdrawal" and lose stats)
 rose-colored glasses - Given to you free if you have the Grey plague. Makes your text appear black.

Doc Galaktik's Medicine Show
 Curative Nostrum			- Variable Cost (Will immediately and completely heal your HP)
 Fizzy Invigorating Tonic		- Variable Cost (Will immediately and completely restore your MP)
 Doc Galaktik's Pungent Unguent         - 30 Meat
 Doc Galaktik's Ailment Ointment        - 60 Meat
 Doc Galaktik's Restorative Balm        - 120 Meat
 Doc Galaktik's Homeopathic Elixir      - 240 Meat

The Bugbear Bakery
 Gnollish pie tin       - 30 Meat
 wad of dough           - 50 Meat
 taco shell             - 80 Meat
 skewer                 - 80 Meat
 Gnollish casserole dish - 150 Meat
 rolling pin            - 500 Meat
 unrolling pin          - 500 Meat

The Demon Market
 can of hair spray	- 24 Meat
 chewing gum on a string - 30 Meat
 Newbiesport™ tent	- 40 Meat
 anti-anti-antidote	- 40 Meat
 spray paint		- 50 Meat
 beer cartilage		- 50 Meat
 fermenting powder	- 70 Meat
 soda water		- 70 Meat
 casino pass		- 100 Meat
 hermit permit		- 100 Meat
 strongness elixir	- 200 Meat
 magicalness-in-a-can	- 200 Meat
 moxie weed		- 200 Meat
 Familiar-Gro™ Terrarium - 500 Meat
 Hatorade		- 500 Meat
 cocktailcrafting kit	- 1,000 Meat
 E-Z Cook Oven™		- 1,000 Meat

The Gift Shop
 plain brown wrapper		- 50 Meat (holds 1 type of item)
 less-than-three-shaped box	- 100 Meat (holds up to 2 types of item)
 exactly-three-shaped box 	- 100 Meat (holds up to 3 types, available after your third ascension)
 chocolate box			- 500 Meat (holds up to 4 types, available after your sixth ascension)
 miniature coffin		- 1000 Meat (holds up to 5 types, available after your ninth ascension)
 solid asbestos box 		- 2000 Meat (holds up to 6 types, available after your 12th ascension)
 solid linoleum box		- 5000 Meat (holds up to 7 types, available after your 15th ascension)
 solid chrome box		- 10,000 Meat (holds up to 8 types, available after your 18th ascension)
 cryptic puzzle box		- 20,000 Meat (holds up to 9 types, available after your 21th ascension)
 refrigerated biohazard container - 50,000 Meat (holds up to 10 types, available after your 24th ascension)
 magnetic field			- 100,000 Meat (holds up to 11 types, available after your 27th ascension)
 black velvet box 		- free (holds up to 11 types of items, available only on Valentine's Day) 

 potted cactus		-  50 Meat
 daisy			- 100 Meat
 stuffed can of asparagus - 50 Meat
 stuffed dodecapede	- 100 Meat
 mugcake		-  50 Meat
 urinal cake		- 100 Meat
 white balloon		-  50 Meat
 green balloon		- 100 Meat
 potted fern 		- 200 Meat (post ascension)
 Happy Birthday, Claude! cake - 200 Meat  (post ascension)
 stuffed ghuol whelp 	- 200 Meat (appears after 2nd ascension)
 heart-shaped balloon 	- 200 Meat (appears after 2nd ascension)
 potted tulip		- 500 Meat (appears after 4th ascension)
 personalized birthday cake - 500 Meat (appears after 4th ascension)
 stuffed zobmie		- 500 Meat (appears after 5th ascension)
 anniversary balloon	- 500 Meat (appears after 5th ascension)
 Venus flytrap 		- 1000 Meat (appears after 7th ascension)
 three-tiered wedding cake - 1000 Meat (appears after 7th ascension)
 Mylar balloon		- 1000 Meat (appears after 8th ascension)
 Raggedy Hippy doll	- 1000 Meat (appears after 8th ascension)
 all-purpose flower	- 2000 Meat (appears after 10th ascension)
 babycakes		- 2000 Meat (appears after 10th ascension)
 stuffed stab bat	- 2000 Meat (11th)
 Kevlar balloon		- 2000 Meat (11th)
 exotic orchid		- 5000 Meat (13th)
 blue velvet cake	- 5000 Meat (13th)
 apathetic lizardman doll - 5000 Meat (14th)
 thought balloon	- 5000 Meat (14th)
 long-stemmed rose	- 10000 Meat (16th) 
 congratulatory cake	- 10000 Meat (16th)
 stuffed yeti		- 10000 Meat (17th)
 rat head balloon	- 10000 Meat (17th)
 gilded lily		- 20000 Meat (19th)
 angel-food cake	- 20000 Meat (19th)
 mini-zeppelin		- 20000 Meat (20th)
 stuffed Mob Penguin	- 20000 Meat (20th)
 deadly nightshade	- 50000 Meat (22th)
 devil's-food cake	- 50000 Meat (22th)
 Mr. Balloon		- 50000 Meat (23th)
 stuffed sabre-toothed lime - 50000 Meat (23th)
 black lotus		- 100000 Meat (25th)
 birthday party jellybean cheesecake - 100000 Meat (25th)
 giant stuffed bugbear	- 100000 Meat (26th)
 red balloon		- 100000 Meat (26th)

The Hippy Store (must be wearing the Filthy Hippy Disguise)
 herbs          - 64 Meat
 orange         - 70 Meat
 grapefruit     - 70 Meat
 grapes         - 70 Meat
 olive          - 70 Meat
 tomato         - 70 Meat
 strawberry     - 70 Meat

The Knob Goblin Laboratory (must be wearing the Knob Goblin Elite Guard Uniform)
 Knob Goblin seltzer		- 80 Meat
 Knob Goblin stink bomb		- 130 Meat
 Knob Goblin nasal spray	- 150 Meat
 Knob Goblin love potion	- 170 Meat
 Knob Goblin eyedrops		- 200 Meat
 Knob Goblin sharpening spray	- 230 Meat
 Knob Goblin steroids		- 250 Meat
 Knob Goblin pet-buffing spray	- 250 Meat
 Knob Goblin learning pill	- 300 Meat 

The Meatsmith's Shop
 meatsmithing guide     - 50 Meat
 sword hilt             - 100 Meat
 helmet recipe          - 100 Meat
 pants kit              - 100 Meat
 big stick              - 100 Meat
 crossbow string        - 100 Meat
 whip kit		- 100 Meat
 buckler buckle		- 100 Meat
 skirt / kilt kit	- 100 Meat
 Tenderizing Hammer     - 1000 Meat

The Shadowy Store (available only to Accordion Thieves and Disco Bandits)
 Ye Olde Golde Frontes          - 1500 Meat
 Bejeweled Accordion Strap      - 2000 Meat
 Moxie Magnet                   - 3000 Meat

The Smacketeria (available only to Seal Clubbers and Turtle Tamers)
 Medicinal Herb's medicinal herbs - 100 Meat
 cheap wind-up clock		- 200 Meat
 Blood Of The Wereseal          - 500 Meat
 Enchanted Brass Knuckles       - 1000 Meat

Gouda's Grimoire and Grocery (available only to Pastamancers and Saucerors of a certain level)
 magical mystery juice 		- 100 meat
 MSG				- 1000 meat
 delectable catalyst		- 1000 meat
 ladle of mystery 		- 3000 meat
 special sauce glove 		- 5000 meat
 kickback cookbook 		- 4000 meat
 Codex of Capsaicin Conjuration	- 4000 Meat
 Gazpacho's Glacial Grimoire	- 4000 Meat

Degrassi Knoll General Store (available only to Mus sign users after ascension)
 spring			- 20 Meat
 sprocket		- 20 Meat
 cog			- 20 Meat
 empty meat tank	- 20 Meat
 tires			- 28 Meat
 bugbear beanie		- 70 Meat
 bugbear bungguard	- 70 Meat
 Gnollish plunger	- 80 Meat
 Gnollish flyswatter 	- 80 Meat
 frilly skirt		- 80 Meat
 maiden wig		- 80 Meat

Degrassi Knoll Bakery (available only to Mus sign users after ascension)
 Gnollish pie tin	- 30 Meat
 wad of dough		- 50 Meat
 flat dough		- 70 Meat
 skewer			- 80 Meat
 taco shell		- 80 Meat
 Gnollish casserole dish - 150 Meat

Little Canadia Jewelers (available only to Mys sign users after ascension)
 piercing post		- 64 Meat
 necklace chain		- 70 Meat
 hemp bracelet		- 150 Meat
 ring setting		- 200 Meat
 jewelry-making pliers	- 1,000 Meat

Chez Snooteé (available only to Mys sign users after ascension)
 Peche a la Frog		- 50 Meat
 Au Jus Gezund Heit		- 75 Meat
 Bouillabaise Coucher Avec Moi	- 100 Meat

The Gnomish Micromicrobrewery (available only to Mox sign users after ascension)
 Petite Porter 		- 50 Meat
 Scrawny Stout 		- 75 Meat
 Infinitesimal IPA 	- 100 Meat

The Armory and Leggery
 Melee Weapons
  cool whip		- 30 Meat
  sweet ninja sword	- 50 Meat
  suede shortsword	- 300 Meat
  bamboo bokuto		- 750 Meat
  25-meat staff		- 525 Meat
  two-handed depthsword	- 900 Meat
  bill bec-de-bardiche glaive-guisarme - 1,125 Meat
 Ranged Weapons
  slingshot		- 150 Meat
  slightly peevedbow	- 450 Meat
  lead yo-yo		- 600 Meat
  sack of doorknobs	- 825 Meat
  lucky ball-and-chain	- 975 Meat
  automatic catapult	- 1,125 Meat
  snorkel		- 30 Meat
  Kentucky-style derby	- 50 Meat
  pentacorn hat		- 300 Meat
  goofily-plumed helmet	- 525 Meat
  yellow plastic hard hat - 675 Meat
  wooden salad bowl	- 900 Meat
  football helmet	- 1,125 Meat
  studded leather boxer shorts - 50 Meat
  chain-mail monokini	- 225 Meat
  junk-mail pants	- 375 Meat
  paper-plate-mail pants - 600 Meat
  troutpiece		- 825 Meat
  alpha-mail pants	- 1,050 Meat

The White Citadel
 White Citadel burger	- 100 Meat
 White Citadel fries	- 80 Meat
 onion shurikens	- 80 Meat
 Regular Cloaca Cola	- 80 Meat
 Diet Cloaca Cola	- 80 Meat
 Cherry Cloaca Cola	- 80 Meat

9) -Skills-

Seal Clubber Skills
LevelSkillTypeDescriptionDurationMP CostMeat Cost
1Seal Clubbing FrenzySelf Buff+2 Muscle51N/A
1Hide of the OtterPassive+20 Damage absorption  1000
2Claws of the OtterPassive+3 Melee damage  2000
3Tongue of the OtterHealingHeals 10-20 HP, Cures Beaten Up 73000
4Thrust-SmackCombatAttack with 2x normal damage 34000
5Super-Advanced MeathsmithingPassiveAllows advanced smithing  5000
6Eye of the StoatPassiveSkills never miss, decreases fumbling, increases critical hits  6000
7Hide of the WalrusPassive+40 Damage absorption  7000
8Claws of the WalrusPassive+4 Melee damage  8000
9Tongue of the WalrusHealingHeals 30-40 HP, Cures Beaten Up 109000
10Lunging Thrust-SmackCombatAttack with 3x normal damage 810000
11Rage of the ReindeerSelf Buff+10% Muscle, +10 Melee Damage51011000
12Double-Fisted Skull SmashingPassiveDual wielding (wield a one-handed weapon in each of your hands)  12000
13Northern ExposurePassiveso-so cold resistance  13000
14Musk of the MooseSelf BuffMakes you more likely to encounter monsters5?1014000
15PulverisePassiveAllows use of the Malus of Forethought and the smash ability  15000

Malus of Forethought:
Allows you to pulverize items into powders. The more powerful the item, the more powder you get.
Smashing valuable items will sometimes give nuggets and wads instead of powder.
Smash an item with an elemental enchantment to get the associated powder.
You can cook powders with scrumptious reagents to make phials, which convert all your damage into elemental damage.
Cooking an elemental wad with a scrumdiddlyumptious solution will transform it into a different element. The Malus of Forethought will allow you to combine 5 powders of the same type into a nugget, and 5 nuggets into a wad.
Powders, when used, give resistance to the associated element. Twinkly Powder gives physical resistance.
Nuggets, when used, give a +3 damage boost of the associated element.
Wads, when used, give +10 damage of an element in addition to several stat points. Costs 1 spleen.
Using an Ultimate Wad will instantly level up your character, costing 15 spleen.

Turtle Tamer Skills
LevelSkillTypeDescriptionDurationMP CostMeat Cost
1Patience of the TortoiseSelf Buff+1 Muscle, +4 Max HP51N/A
1HeadbuttCombatDeals damage 31000
2Skin of the LeatherbackPassive+40 Damage Absorption  2000
3Amphibian Sympathy Passive+5 Familiar weight  3000
4Ghostly ShellBuff+40 Damage Absorption1064000
5ArmorcraftinessPassiveAllows advanced smithing  5000
6Tenacity of the SnapperBuff+8 Melee Damage1086000
7KneebuttCombatBonus to hit, chance of stunning enemy ?7000
8Empathy of the NewtBuff+5 Familiar Weight10158000
9Reptilian FortitudeBuff+30 Max HP10109000
10ShieldbuttCombatWeakens opponent, always hits 510000
11Wisdom of the Elder TortoisesPassive+50% Max MP  11000
12Astral ShellBuff+80 Damage Absorption, elemental resistance101012000
13Cold-Blooded FearlessnessPassiveso-so spooky resistance  13000
14Hero of the Half ShellPassiveUse muscle to determine enemies to hit  12000
15Tao of the TerrapinPassiveDoubled effectiveness of hats and pants  12000

Pastamancer Skills
LevelSkillTypeDescriptionDurationMP CostMeat Cost
1Manicotti MeditationSelf Buff+2 Mysticality51N/A
1Minor Ray of SomethingCombatDeals damage 41000
2Entangling NoodlesCombatSlows down enemies 32000
3Lasagna BandagesHealingRestores 10-30 HP (out of combat) or 10-20 HP (in combat) 63000
4eXtreme Ray of SomethingCombatDeals 10-16 damage 74000
5PastamasteryPassiveCan summon 3 dry noodles a day, Allows cooking with dry noodles 105000
6Springy FusilliSelf Buff+40% combat initiative10106000
7Spirit of RigatoniPassiveMys is used instead of Mus when determining chance to hit with staves  7000
8Cone of WhateverCombatDeals damage 198000
9Spirit of RavioliPassive+25% Max HP  9000
10Weapon of the PastalordCombatDeals large ammounts of damage 3510000
11Leash of LinguiniSelf Buff+5 familiar weight101211000
12Canneloni CocoonHealingRestores all HP 2012000
13Tolerance of the KitchenPassiveso-so heat resistance  13000
14Flavour of MagicSelf BuffAlways do spell damage using selected element401014000
15Transcendental NoodlecraftPassiveGives access to The Wok of Ages and expert pastamastery  15000

The Wok of Ages can be used to upgrade certain types of food. It is available only to Mysticality classes.
Each use of the Wok requires one adventure, dry noodles and MSG. MSG can be purchased at the guild store (Gouda's Grimoire and Grocery) for 1000 meat.
Cooking with delectable catalysts requires the level 15 Sauceror skill: The Way of Sauce.
They can be purchased at Gouda's Grimoire and Grocery for 1000 meat.
Wads are made using the level 15 Seal clubber skill: Pulverise

Sauceror Skills
LevelSkillTypeDescriptionDurationMP CostMeat Cost
1Sauce ContemplationSelf Buff+1 Mysticality, +4 Max HP51N/A
1Stream of SauceCombatDeals 3-4 damage 31000
2Saucy SalveCombatHeals 10-15 HP 42000
3Expert PanhandlingPassive+10% Meat drop rate  3000
4Elemental SaucesphereBuffProtects from elemental damage10104000
5Advanced SaucecraftingPassiveEnables cooking with scrumptious reagents  5000
6SaucestormCombatDeals 6-10 damage 126000
7Jalapeño SaucesphereBuffIf damaged, adds 1-5 damage to attack1057000
8Wave of sauceCombatDeals damage 238000
9Intrinsic SaucinessPassiveIncreases damage of sauce spells by a number equal to your level  9000
10Jabañero SaucesphereBuffIf damaged, adds 1-5 damage to attack101010000
11SaucegeyserCombatDeals large ammounts of damage 4011000
12Impetuous SaucinessPassive+5 potion duration  12000
13Diminished Gag ReflexPassiveso-so stench resistance  13000
14Immaculate SeasoningPassiveAlways use correct spell element in combat  14000
15The Way of SaucePassiveAllows use of delectable catalysts  15000

New scrumptious reagent recipes:
oil of slipperiness = jumbo olive + scrumptious reagent (Set Mus and Mys to base Moxie)
oil of expertise = cherry + scrumptious reagent (Set Mus and Mox to base Mysticality)
oil of stability = lime + scrumptious reagent (Set Mys and Mox to base Muscle)
tomato juice of powerful power = tomato + scrumptious reagent (+50% to all stats)
philter of phorce = lemon + scrumptious reagent (+100% Mus)
Ferrigno's Elixir of Power = kiwi + scrumptious reagent (+200% Mus)
serum of sarcasm = olive + scrumptious reagent (+100% Mox)
Connery's Elixir of Audacity = cocktail onion + scrumptious reagent (+100% Mox)
ointment of the occult = grapefruit + scrumptious reagent (+100% Mys)
Hawking's Elixir of Brilliance = tangerine + scrumptious reagent (+100% Mys)
cologne of contempt = dill + scrumptious reagent (?)
potion of potency = orange = + scrumptious reagent (?)
potent potion of potency = kumquat = + scrumptious reagent (?)
cordial of concentration = soda water + scrumptious reagent (+10 spell damage)
concentrated cordial of concentration = tonic water + scrumptious reagent (+?? spell damage)
libation of liveliness = grapes + scrumptious reagent (Increased initiative)
milk of magnesium = glass of goat's milk + scrumptious reagent (More adventures from food?)
perfume of prejudice = jabañero pepper + scrumptious reagent (Increases monster level)
eyedrops of the ermine = strawberry + scrumptious reagent (Increased item drops?)
eyedrops of the ocelot = raspberry + scrumptious reagent (Increased item drops?)

Disco Bandit Skills
LevelSkillTypeDescriptionDurationMP CostMeat Cost
1Moxious ManeuverCombatDeals damage based on muscle 1+N/A
1Disco AerobicsSelf Buff+2 Moxie51N/A
1Disco Eye-PokeCombatDeals 1-3 damage, -1 monster stats 31000
2Overdeveloped Sense of Self PreservationPassive+20% Combat initiative  2000
3Disco NapHealingHeals 20 HP 83000
4Disco Dance of DoomCombatDeals 4-6 damage, -3 monster stats 54000
5Advanced CocktailcraftingPassiveCan summon three ingredients, allows advanced cocktailcrafting  5000
6Nimble FingersPassive+20% meat drop rate  6000
7Disco Dance II: Electric BoogalooCombatDeals 8-10 damage, -3 monster stats 77000
8Mad Looting SkillzPassive+20% item drop rate  8000
9Disco Power NapHealingHeals 40 HP 129000
10Disco Face StabCombatDeals 15-18 damage, -7 monster stats 1010000
11Crossbow FeverPassiveAdds +1 damage per player level for crossbows  11000
12Ambidextrous FunkslingingPassiveUse two items per round of combat  12000
13Heart of PolyesterPassiveso-so sleazy resistance  13000
14Smooth MovementSelf BuffReduce monster encounters101014000
15Superhuman CocktailcraftingPassiveCan summon five ingredients a day, opens new cocktailcrafting recipies and allows use of Nash Crosby's Still  15000

Nash Crosby's Still can be used to upgrade certain ingredients (up to 10 a day).
Spirit Improver:
 bottle of gin --> bottle of Calcutta Emerald
 bottle of vodka --> bottle of Definit
 bottle of whiskey --> bottle of Domesticated Turkey
 bottle of rum --> bottle of Lieutenant Freeman
 bottle of tequila --> bottle of Jorge Sinsonte
 boxed wine --> boxed champagne
Mixer Hopper:
 orange --> kumquat
 grapefruit --> tangerine
 olive --> cocktail onion
 lemon --> kiwi
 strawberry --> raspberry
 soda water --> tonic water

This is just a temporary location for the new Superhuman Cocktailcrafting recipes:
 Basic improved drinks:
 gin and tonic = bottle of Calcutta Emerald + tonic water
 gibson = bottle of Calcutta Emerald + cocktail onion
 rabbit punch = bottle of Domesticated Turkey + raspberry
 caipifruta = bottle of Lieutenant Freeman + kiwi
 teqiwila = bottle of Jorge Sinsonte + kiwi
 tequila sunset = bottle of Jorge Sinsonte + tangerine
 mimosette = boxed champagne + kumquat
 parisian cathouse = Boxed champagne + rasberry
 vodka and tonic = bottle of Definit + tonic water
 vodka gibson = bottle of Definit + cocktail onion
 whiskey bittersweet = bottle of Domesticated Turkey + kumquat
 zmobie = bottle of Lieutenant Freeman + tangerine

Advanced improved drinks:
 Mon Tiki = coconut shell + caipifruta
 teqiwila slammer = coconut shell + teqiwila
 neuromancer = coconut shell + gibson
 vodka stratocaster = coconut shell + vodka gibson
 gimlet = little paper umbrella + gin and tonic
 yellow brick road = little paper umbrella + vodka and tonic
 Divine = little paper umbrella + whiskey bittersweet
 Gordon Bennet = little paper umbrella + mimosette
 Mae West = magical ice cubes + rabbit punch
 prussian cathouse = magical ice cubes + parisian cathouse
 mandarina colada = magical ice cubes + zmobie
 tangarita = magical ice cubes + tequila sunset

Accordion Thief Skills
Note: Accordion Thief buffs last for 5 turns by default, but will last for 15 turns if you have a Rock 'n' Roll Legend in your inventory.
LevelSkillTypeDescriptionDurationMP CostMeat Cost
1Moxious ManeuverCombatDeals damage based on muscle 1+N/A
1Moxie of the MariachiSelf Buff+1 Moxie, +4 Max HP51N/A
1The Moxious MadrigalBuff+10 Moxie5/1521000
2The Magical Mojomuscular MelodyBuff+10ys, +20 Max MP5/1532000
3Cletus's Canticle of CelerityBuff+20% combat initiative5/1543000
4The Power Ballad of the ArrowsmithBuff+10 Muscle, +20 HP5/1554000
5The Polka of PlentyBuff+50% meat drop rate5/1575000
6Brawnee's Anthem of AbsorptionBuff+40 Damage absorption5/15136000
7Fat Leon's Phat Loot LyricBuff+20% item drop rate5/15127000
8The Psalm of PointinessBuffEnemies take damage when attacking you5/15168000
9Jackasses' Symphony of DestructionBuff+12 Melee attack damage5/15159000
10Stevedave's Shanty of SuperiorityBuff+10% all stats5/153010000
11Aloysius'Antiphon of AptitudeBuff+1 each stat gained after battle5/154011000
12The Ode to BoozeBuffGet 1 extra adventure per drink5/155012000
13The Sonata of SneakinessBuffReduce chance of combat5/152013000
14Carlweather's Cantata of ConflictBuffRaise chance of combat5/152014000
15Ur-Kel's Aria of AnnoyanceBuffRaises monster level5/153015000

Miscellaneous Skills
SkillDescriptionTypeCostHow to acquire
Chronic IndigestionDeals 5-10 damage. Additional 1 damage per fullness. Costs 5MPCombatN/AEat an insanely spicy enchanted bean burrito
Liver of SteelIncreases maximum drunkeness by 5PassiveN/AQuest
Stomach of SteelIncreases maximum fullness by 5PassiveN/AQuest
Spleen of SteelIncreases maximum spleen capacity by 5PassiveN/AQuest
Summon SnowconesAllows snowcone summoning once a day. Costs 5MP.SummoningMr. AccessoryMr. Store
CLEESHTurns opponent into an amphibian for 10 MPCombatN/AStrange Leaflet
Summon Hilarious ObjectsSummon up to three 'hilarious objects' per day. Costs 5MP.SummoningMr. AccessoryMr. Store
Gnefarious PickpocketingIncreases meat drop rate by 10 %Passive5000Fragnks
Powers of Observatiogn+10% Item drop ratePassive5000Fragnks
Torso AwaregnessEnables shirt wearingPassive5000Fragnks
Gnomish Hardigness+10% Max HPPassive5000Fragnks
Cosmic Ugnderstanding+10% Max MPPassive5000Fragnks

10) -Ascension Info-

For more information on what ascension is see the official Ascension FAQ.

Ascension occurs after you defeat the Naughty Sorceress and move through The Astral Gash. But before you do that, here are some things you might want to do before ascending: Untinker your car. Pick a useful familiar to bring with you. Gather the parts for a meat maid together. You might as well use up all your adventures because they will be reset to 80 when you are reincarnated.

After ascending, you will enter Valhalla, where you can adventure for a while. Ultimately, there is nothing to do in Valhalla except enter After-After-Life Al's where you can choose a new class, a skill to keep and a new "sign". Sign information is detailed below.
SignSign TypeArea unlockedSpecial ability
Mongoose Muscle Degrassi Knoll Increased muscle gain from combat
Wallaby Increased combat initiative?
Vole Better critical hits in combat
Platypus Mysticality Little Canadia Increased mysticality gain from combat
Opossum Occasionally gives 0-3 extra adventures from eating food
Marmot Will occasionally get a ten-leaf clover after non-combat adventures
Wombat Moxie Gnomish Gnomad Camp Increased moxie gain from combat
Blender Occasionally increases adventures gained from alcohol
Packrat Increased item drops from combat

Once you have ascended, visit Mt. Noob and the Toot Oriole will give you a letter from King Ralph XI. Opening this letter will give you a gemstone (type appears to be random), the roman numeral tattoo, and your new class tattoo. The gemstone is useful in the new jewerlymaking crafting system. The number shown on the roman numeral tattoo indicates how many times a person has ascended.

An effective way of making meat in a hardcore game is to buy some hermit permits, buy several chewing gum on a strings, and use the gum to get useless trinkets from the sewer. Trade these trinkets to the Hermit for ten-leaf clovers. Now adventure in the Cobb's Knob Treasury and you will get a dense meat stack (worth 1000 meat) for each clover. Sell the dense meat stack. This tip will only work on days that the Hermit stocks clovers. Thanks to Nikolai Arantus for this strategy.

Coldfront has some good Hardcore Ascension tips and tricks.
The KoL wiki also has a good Ascension Strategy section.
Chrono Mage's Hardcore Ascension Guide.

There are three new areas in the game, but you will only be able to access one of them, depending on which sign you picked at ascension.

Degrassi Knoll
You must have picked a muscle sign to enter this area. It is located inside the Degrassi Knoll. It features:
 Mushroom Fields - A place where you can grow and harvest mushrooms. You can buy a plot for 5k and plant mushrooms that you will be able to harvest the next day.
 The Plunger - Will combine items for you for free.  Innabox - A smith who will craft items for free.
 The Gym - A muscle gym.
 The Bakery - A shop very similar to the bugbear shop in town.
 General Store - Sells the parts to a car.
 Mayor Zapruder - A person who gives out quests. One of his quests is to grow some special mushrooms.

Little Canadia
You must have picked a mysticality sign to enter this area. It is located just above the town. It features:
 Outskirts of Camp Logging Camp - A low level area to adventure in.
 Camp Logging Camp - A mid level (>30 mys) area to adventure in.
 Little Canadia Jewelers - A shop which sells jewelrymaking supplies which you can use to make jewelry.
 The Institute for Canadian Studies - A mysticality gym.
 Chez Snooteé - A place to buy food. The food is served immediately.
 The Super-Secret Canadian Mind-Control Device, which allows you to increase the difficulty of the monsters in the world. Each number added increases the level of all monsters by one.

Gnomish Gnomads' Camp
You must have picked a moxie sign to enter this area. It is located on the desert beach. It features:
 Thugndergnome - A mid level area to adventure in. The items necessary for Supertinkering are dropped here.
 Gnorman, the Supertinkerer - Allows creation of three component items. See Supertinkering Recipes for more info.
 Gnirf, The World's Sneakiest Gnome - Acts like a Moxie gym.
 The Gnomish Micromicrobrewery - Serves drinks. Drinks are served immediately and cannot be saved for later.
 Fragnk, the Regnaissance Gnome - Teaches skills for 5000 meat each. The skills the Regnaissance Gnome teaches are:
   Powers of Observatiogn - This skill makes you observant, like a very, very observant gnome. It increases the number of items you find when fighting monsters.
   Gnefarious Pickpocketing - This skill lets you gaffle a little bit more Meat from monsters you defeat.
   Torso Awaregness - This skill allows you to understand how to use the middle part of your body to wear things known as "shirts."
   Gnomish Hardigness - This skill makes you hardy, like a gnome. A hardy gnome. A hardy boy gnome, or a hardy girl gnome. Doesn't really matter.
   Cosmic Ugnderstanding - Like a mystical, mystical gnome, you're more in touch with the Cosmos than most people are. And with the Redbooks.

Shirt descriptions and locations
Shirt NameDescription"Wear" to get them
Ascension Souvenir T-Shirt15 powerGiven to Ascension testers
frilly shirt20 power, +3 MysDegrassi Knoll
harem girl t-shirt25 power, +3 MoxDropped by Knob Goblin Harem Girls
Mr. Shirt30 power, +1 all statsHacked item
Knob Goblin elite shirt35 power, +3 Mus, 2 mus requiredKnob Goblin Treasury or Harem
filthy hippy poncho40 power, 5 mus requiredIn the Hippy Camp
soggy wofl t-shirt45 power, +3 Mys, 7 mus required, +3 Mus Orcish Frat House in disguise
loathing eagle baby-doll shirt 45 power, +3 Mox, 7 mus requiredOrcish Frat House in disguise
pirate shirt50 power, +3 Mox, 10 mus requiredPirate Cove in disguise
supportive bra50 power, +5 Mox, 10 moxie requiredDropped by Lumberjills in Camp Logging Camp
clockwork trench coat80 power, 25 mus requiredSupertinker it together
goth kid t-shirt100 power, 35 mus requiredUse a Warm Subject gift certificate (once only)
rhinestone cowboy shirt100 power, 35 mus required, +7 musDistant Lands Dude Ranch Adventure (Shore, males only)
gingham blouse100 power, 35 mus required, +7 musDistant Lands Dude Ranch Adventure (Shore, females only)
floral print shirt100 power, 35 mus required, +7 mysTropical Paradise Island Getaway (Shore, males only)
coconut bikini top100 power, 35 mus required, +7 mysTropical Paradise Island Getaway (Shore, females only)
souvenir ski t-shirt100 power, +7 mox, 35 mus required Large Donkey Mountain Ski Resort (Shore)
star shirt165 power, +3 all stats, 67 mus requiredCombine 15 stars and 15 lines

Every time you complete an ascension, you will receive the following rewards in a letter from King Ralph XI:
 a gem (hamethyst, baconstone, or porquoise)
 a Roman numeral tattoo indicating the number of softcore ascensions you have completed (up to XI+)
 a class tattoo for your new class

Completing a Teetotaller ascension will get you a Retenez L'Herbe Paté
Completing a Boozetafarian ascension will get you a bottle of single-barrel whiskey
Completing a Oxygenarian ascension will get you a Breathetastic™ Premium Canned Air
Consuming one of the above items will give you ~20 adventures and ~60 stat points.

Upon completing a normal Hardcore ascension, you will get the following rewards:
 a Pork Elf goodies sack (contains five gemstones)
 a sparkly class tattoo
 a solid Roman numeral tattoo indicating the number of hardcore ascensions completed (up to XI+)
 one of the following stainless steel items, depending on your class:
  Seal Clubber - stainless steel shillelagh (club, requires 30 mus, 90 power, +20 melee damage, 4x chance of critical hit, +15% Muscle)
  Turtle Tamer - stainless steel skullcap (hat, requires 30 mox, 90 power, +30 maximum HP, +60 damage absorption, +15% Muscle)
  Pastamancer - stainless steel solitaire (accessory, requires 30 mys, -2 MP cost, +2 adv/day, +15% Mysticality)
  Sauceror - stainless steel scarf (accessory, requires 30 mys, +20 spell damage, +20 monster level, +15% Mysticality)
  Disco Bandit - stainless steel slacks (pants, 90 power, requires 30 mox, +15% initiative, +20% Meat, +15% Moxie)
  Accordion Thief - stainless steel suspenders (accessory, requires 30 mys, +60 damage absorption, +40 maximum MP, +15% moxie)

Upon completing a pathed Hardcore ascension, you will get one of the following (In addition to the normal hardcore ascension rewards (except the steel items)):

11) -Credits-

 Thanks to all these people who have contributed.


Charlie Sumthin
Combat Chuck
Darguz Parsilvan
Denny Terrio
Firestorm ZERO
Gravy Spasm
Leg o Lam
LiamAndMe (and the rest of the Urban Achievers clan)
Masiello The Great
Mr Bill
MrForklift (Much thanks)
Nightvol (Much thanks)
Nikolai Arantus
Rav E Oli
raving frothing mad kitten
Saundra King
Syra the Small
The Phearsome Phantom

Copyright © 2004-2006
This website was last updated on July 15, 2007
Contact me at moc.liamtoh@52reyalSK