This text is a compilation of information to guide you through the browser game/MMORPG Kingdom of Loathing (KoL).
The best way to use this guide/FAQ/walkthrough is to use the search function to specifically find what you need.
If there is anything you want to add, change or comment on, please message/kmail KSlayer (#20098) in the game.
Any updates to this file will be posted at http://www.zerokelvin.org/kol.html
Eat as much food as possible. Food gives you extra adventures and increases your stats.
Different foods will fill you up at different rates. Even if you are too full to eat another pizza, you might still have room for a slice of toast.
Alcohol is also good for getting extra adventures, but makes you Drunk. If drunkenness gets greater than 14 (or 19 with a Liver of Steel), adventuring becomes impossible. One way to combat this is to drink the alcohol at the end of your turn; the adventures will carry over to the next day while the Drunkenness will not.
Join a clan when you reach level 3 (the minimum level to join). Being in a clan that has a calendar will give 3 extra turns a day. If the clan has a meat stash and 50k meat in its coffers, you will also receive 500 meat a day.
Dwellings (like a tent, cottage or house) placed in you campground increase the amount of HP recovered when you rest as well as helping in PvP.
It does not hurt to be a packrat. Seemingly useless items could prove to be very useful in the future.
If possible, always combine your food items together. Cooking/Mixing will allow you to eat more food/drink.
If you do not have an immediate need of a ten-leaf clover, "use" it in the inventory. This will turn it into a disassembled clover, and will allow you to save it for later.
A good place to get stats is the hidden temple. The best place for meat drops is the Icy Peak.
Muscle determines how often and how hard you hit.
Mysticality determines the amount of MP you have and the effect of spells.
Moxie determines your ability to avoid damage.
PvP
Before you break the Magical Mystical Hippy Stone to allow PvP, you should establish some defences.
Try to PvP when you are close to leveling up. Since you only fight with players of similar level, you will have a slight stats advantage if you are close to leveling up.
PvP matches the stat you picked to fight with against an opponent's stat. So when choosing opponents, make sure that their class is not high in your stat. For example: If you are a seal clubber (high muscle), don't fight a turtle tamer (who also have high muscle) instead, pick on an Accordion Thief, who have low muscle but high moxie.
Watch for players wearing an outfit, the outfits often have poorer stats then the equipment you would normally wear. Conversely, stay away from people with good equipment (eg Mr. Accessory).
Pay attention to campground items. See who has scarecrows (weakens Mus), flowers (weakens Mox), or Good Feng Shui (weakens Mys). If you find someone weak against your prime stat, attack them.
Check on people's win/loss ratios. Obviously, those with more losses than wins should be easier to fight.
Try to be relatively drunk when PvPing.
Compile a list of players who you easily defeat and fight these players every day. PvP is one of the best sources of stat points (assuming you win).
The first Kingdom of Loathing quest is essentially a tutorial. The Toot Oriole (found in Mt Noob) will tell you to
adventure in the Noob Cave until you get a pile of shiny pebbles. Equip your starting equipment and cast your
1MP starting class skill before adventuring in The Dire Warren where you must get a bunny liver. After finding the
bunny liver and returning, the Toot Oriole gives you a bowl of oriole's nest soup. Return to The Dire Warren to find
40 meat, which you must then use to purchase chewing gum on a string from The Market. Visit the Sewer in the Market Square
and you will fish a worthless trinket out with the chewing gum on a string. Buy a Hermit Permit from the Market, go to
The Hermitage, trade the worthless item for the Golden Twig and return to Mt. Noob. Your next task is
to combine an Action Figure Body and Head together. Make some meat paste from the miscellaneous category of your
inventory, click on "combine stuff", select the Action Figure Body and Head in the drop down menu's and click Combine.
Now take the newly created Action Figure to the Toot Oriole to receive Mt. Noob Pale Ale and a Certificate of Participation.
Distant Woods (or Looking for a Larva in All the Wrong Places):
When you reach level two, the council will ask you to go to the Spooky Forest (which is in the newly opened Distant Woods)
for mosquito larva. Adventure in the forest until you have some and return to the council for a reward of 500 meat.
Typical Tavern (or Ooh, I Think I Smell a Rat):
You receive this quest when you reach level 3. When you adventure at the Typical Tavern in The Distant Woods, you will be
presented with a grid. Under each part of the cellar, you might encounter one of four types of adventures:
A fight with a drunken rat. This is the most common type.
Free drink (bottle of rum, boxed wine, ice-cold beer, ice-cold fotie or a Disco Bandit type drink)
Baron Von Ratsworth, a boss whose damage is based on your moxie. Drops special items*
Rat faucet - turning this off will end the quest
Once you turn off the rat faucet, you will receive a Shiny Ring (+3 all stats) and three drinks.
*Baron Von Ratsworth will normally drop Baron Von Ratsworth's monocle. If the Super-Secret Canadian Mind-Control Device
is set to two, he drops Baron Von Ratsworth's money clip (+10/15% meat from monsters). If set to 9, he drops
Baron Von Ratsworth's tophat (75 power, +5 all stats).
Boss Bat (or Ooh, I Think I Smell a Bat):
Fight in The Bat Hole until you get a Pine Fresh Air Freshner. Equip it and fight in Guano Junction (any item that
gives stench resistance allows you to enter the Guano Junction, eg: the asshat). Adventure in Guano Junction until
you have three sonar-in-a-biscuits. Every sonar-in-a-biscuit you use will unlock a new area in the Bat Hole, the last
one unlocked will be the Boss Bat's Lair. Enter and kill the Boss Bat to get an item, then take that item to the
Council Of Loathing to get a Batskin Belt and quest completion. If you set The Super-Secret Canadian Mind-Control Device
to setting 4 for the battle with the boss bat, you will get the Boss Bat Britches (65 power, +5 Moxie). If you set it
to setting 8, you will get the Boss Bat Bling (accessory, +3 Mus, +3 Mox)
Dark And Dank Sinister Cave:
Enter the Dark And Dank Sinister Cave. Equip a Gnollish Flyswatter (from Degrassi Knoll), to solve the Fly Bend.
Have a Cog and a Sprocket in your inventory to open the next door. The Lavatory Troll needs Fairy Gravy, which
can be found in the Haiku Dungeon. Equip Knob Goblin Tongs to get through the salad door. The next obstacle needs
Ketchup or Catsup so get a worthless item from the sewer (using Chewing Gum on a string) and trade it at the
The Hermitage for the Ketchup or Catsup. The final room is combat with your nemesis. Defeating him completes
the quest and gives you a hat (50 power and +7 to your main stat).
King of Cobb's Knob (or The Goblin Who Wouldn't Be King):
When you reach level 5, the Council of Loathing will ask you to kill the Goblin King and will open up Cobb's Knob.
You will need the Knob Goblin Perfume, Knob Goblin Harem Veil and Knob Goblin Harem Pants from Inside Cobb's Knob.
Equip the Veil and Pants, and then use the perfume. This will turn you into a Knob Goblin Harem Girl for one turn.
Enter the King's Chamber and defeat him to get the Crown of the Goblin King (70 power, +10 Mus) and two dense meat
stacks. Quest complete. If you set The Super-Secret Canadian Mind-Control Device to setting 7 for the battle with
the Goblin King, you will get the Cape of the Goblin King (accessory, +7 Mox). If set to 3, you will get the Glass Balls
of the Goblin King (accessory, +14 Mys). Not related to this quest but related to this location is the fact that you can
equip the Knob Goblin Elite Guard Uniform when visiting the Cobb's Knob Laboratory to get a list of items to buy.
Deep Fat Friars (or Trial By Friar):
Given to you when you hit level 6 and complete the Typical Tavern quest. Head to the Grove Of The Deep Fat Friars in
the Distant Woods and speak to the
Friars to learn their problem. Head to the Dark Neck Of The Woods and adventure until you get the dodecagram, do the
same in The Dark Heart Of The Woods for the Birthday Candles, and in The Dark Elbow Of The Woods to get the
Eldrich Butterknife. Head to the taint with all three items to complete the quest and get the Liver Of Steel
skill, which allows you to get up to 20 drunkness. If you have ascended and are a Teetotaller, you will get a
Stomach of Steel instead, which allows 20 fullness. If you are an Oxygenarian you will get a Spleen of Steel, which
allows the consumption of more stat boosting items.
The Cyrpt (or Cyrptic Emanations):
The next quest set by the Council Of Loathing (when you reach level 7) is a simple one. Head to the Crypt in the Nearby Plains.
Adventure in the Defiled Areas until you encounter a boss creature. Defeat each of the 4 bosses to complete the 4 areas.
Once all four areas are gone, adventure into the Haert Of The Crypt and kill the boss to get two items, now go to
the council to get a Dragonbone Belt Buckle. Combine this with the Batskin Belt to get the Badass Belt Accessory
(+5 all major stats), use the Chest of the Bonerdagon to get a 150 Boost to each stat and 3,000 meat. If you set
The Super-Secret Canadian Mind-Control Device to setting 5 for the battle with the Bonerdagon, you will get the
Rib of the Bonerdagon (80 power, +5 Mus, +5 Mys, +15 Spell Damage). If set to 10, you will get the vertebra of the Bonerdagon
(which can be made into a Bonerdagon necklace (+5 Mus, +5 Mox, +30% initiative).
Mt. McLargeHuge and the L337 Tr4pz0r (or It's a Trap!):
The council will ask you to visit the L337 Tr4pz0r who is located at Mt. McLargeHuge in The Big Mountains after
you reach level 8. He asks for 3 pieces of ore (either asbestos, chrome or linoleum), which available from the newly
opened Itznotyerzitz Mine. You will need to wear the Mining Gear (7-Foot Dwarven Mattock, Miner's Pants and Miner's Helmet)
from the mine to get the ore. Return to the Trapper and he will smith you an ore item based on your class.
Muscle based classes get an asbestos/chrome/linoleum sword, Mysticality classes get an asbestos/chrome/linoleum staff,
and Moxie classes get an asbestos/chrome/linoleum crossbow. Next he asks for 6 chunks of goat cheese, which you can
find from The Goatlet. Give him the cheese and he will give you three goat cheese pizzas. The Tr4pz0r will now ask you
to get the eXtreme Cold-Weather Gear (eXtreme Mittens, eXtreme Scarf and Snowboarder Pants) from The eXtreme Slope.
You can either return with the gear, or you can find some other method of getting cold resistance (like an elemental
saucephere). He will then take you to the Icy Peak where he will give you five yeti furs and 5,000 Meat.
Mt. McLargeHuge is now completely open for adventuring and you can go back to The L33t Tr4pz0r's C4b1n to trade furs.
Strange Leaflet:
The strange leaflet is given to you by the Council Of Loathing when you reach level 9. The leafet is a text based
adventure controlled by various commands like: "i, use, read, open, take, cut, light, climb, look at, kill, exit, etc.".
To begin the quest, use the leaflet and type the following instructions in order:
open door, east, take sword, west, north, cut hedge, pick up stick, west, light stick, east, north,
kill serpent, open chest, look behind chest, look in hole
You should now possess a Frobozz Real-Estate Company Instant House (TM) (campground item, the best dwelling) and a grue egg (a familiar).
You can continue the quest with these commands:
This will allow you to later memorize a spell which you will be able to use in normal combat.
light fireplace, take boots, put on boots
At this point type: "
examine fireplace
". There will be one of five objects here. If you see a
trophy, take it using "
take trophy
". This allow you to get the Brass Bowling Trophy Trophy.
The other four objects have secret words tied to each of them that provide a large stat bonus. The commands are detailed
at the end of this section.
west, south, south, south
You should now be in dense forest. Simply move in any direction about 5 times and you will leave the maze. Note that
once inside the maze, you will not be able to return to the previous parts of this adventure.
climb tree, take egg, look at petunias, throw egg at roadrunner, down, look in leaves, up, throw ruby at petunias
If you have the parchment from inside the house, you can now type: "
gnusto cleesh
" to memorize the
cleesh spell from the scroll you just found. This will allow you to cast this spell in combat for 10 MP.
The spell turns creatures into a newt, a frog, or a salamander. The transformed creatures drop a eye of newt,
a squashed frog or a salamander spleen, respectively. If you want this spell, you must memorize it before using it
on the giant or the cleesh scroll will be lost.
up, cleesh giant, take ring
This will give you the giant pinky ring and end the quest.
There is a secret code that will give you a stat bonus. The code is one of:
xyzzy, plugh, plover, yoho.
Note that you can only try these codes once, so you must get it right the first try.
The codes are tied to the items found after examining the fireplace.
plover is tied to finding the bird, plugh the brick wellhouse, yoho the ship and xyzzy the white house.
Orc Chasm (or A Quest, LOL):
Opening up The Valley Beyond The Orc Chasm requires you be level 9 and some running around. You first need to make a
Dingy Dinghy (Get the Dingy Planks from the Hermit and the Dinghy Plans from the Shore, then use the plans). The Dinghy
will open up the Mysterious Island Of Mystery. Adventure in the Obligatory Pirate's Cove to obtain the Swashbuckling Getup
(swashbuckling pants, stuffed shoulder parrot and eyepatch). Dress up in the Swashbuckling Getup once you have
all the components and adventure in the Pirates Cove to get the Abridged Dictionary. Go to the Untinkerer in town
and have him untinker the Abridged Dictionary into a Bridge and a dictionary. You can now cross the Orc Chasm using
the bridge. Use the dictionary against the enemies here, it will deal more damage that a normal attack and has
unlimited uses. Fight until you collect two 334 Scrolls, a 33398 Scroll and a 30669 Scroll. You will now need to
combine these scrolls by using them in combat agaisnt a Rampaging Adding Machine. Combine the two
334 Scrolls together to get a 668 Scroll, then combine the 30669 and 33398 Scrolls to get a 64067 Scroll.
Combine the 64067 scroll with the 668 scroll to finally make the 64735 scroll. Use the 64735 scroll to complete
the quest and you will get a Drywall Axe (150 power) as a reward. You can now sell the facsimile dictionary for 21337 meat.
As a bonus, you can also make a 31337 Scroll out of a 668 Scroll with a 30669 Scroll.
The Beanstalk (or The Rain on the Plains is Mainly Garbage):
The Council will tell you that garbage is piling up in the Nearby Plains after you attain level 10. Get an enchanted bean
from the Beanbat Chamber and use it (This will only work if you have received the quest from the council). It will grow
into a enormous beanstalk in the Nearby Plains. Complete The Penultimate Fantasy Airship quest to gain
access to The Castle in the Clouds in the Sky.
Adventure in the Castle until you encounter the "Wheel in the Clouds in the Sky, Keep On Turning".
Turn the wheel so it is no longer the Procrastination Giant's job to take out the trash. Return to the council and they
will give you either a giant discarded plastic fork (if a Mys class)(staff, 155 power), a giant discarded bottlecap
(if a Mus class) or a giant discarded torn-up glove (if a Mox class). Quest Complete.
Quest for the Holy MacGuffin:
Adventure in The Black Forest till you find the sunken eyes, broken wings and black market map. Combine the sunken eyes
and broken wings into a reassembled blackbird and equip it as a familiar. Use the map to open up The Black Market.
Purchase the forged identification documents for 5,000 Meat. Go to the Shore and buy a vacation. This will get you your
father's MacGuffin diary. Read the diary and flip through all the pages to have the four parts of the Holy MacGuffin added.
This will open The Arid, Extra-Dry Desert and give hints for accessing the other areas necessary for this quest.
Pyramid quest:
Adventure in The Arid, Extra-Dry Desert to find the trader gnome, pick the haggle option. Move to the newly opened An Oasis
location and become Ultrahydrated (necessary to adventure properly in The Arid, Extra-Dry Desert). Continue adventuring
in the Extra-Dry Desert until you get the A Sietch in Time adventure, in which a gnome will ask you to obtain a stone rose
from the Oasis. Do so and return. You'll now need to buy a can of black paint from The Black Market and return once more
to the Desert. Talk to the gnome and continure adventuring there and you will be asked to find a drum machine. Find one
in the Oasis and give it to the gnome, who will ask for 15 manual pages. You can find these in three separate non-combat
adventures in the Oasis. Return, then equip the hooks given to you and use the drum machine. This will open The Pyramid.
MacGuffin - Hidden Temple:
Open The Hidden Temple and adventure in it. At the At Least It's Not Full Of Trash non-combat adventure,
pick the 'Raise your hands up to the Heavens' option, as indicated in your fathers diary. Continue adventuring until you
encounter the Dvorak's Revenge puzzle. Spell out BANANAS in the grid. Adventure again to find the No Visible Means of Support
encounter. Select the third option: 'Do Nothing', which opens a new location, The Hidden City.
Adventure in the unexplored ruins to discover:
4 protective spirits (immune to physical damage), each of which will drop a sphere. Spheres can be used to deal elemental damage.
4 altars, each requiring a certain one of the above spheres to be placed in it.
A fifth protective spirit, who will drop an obsidian knife, a 30 power dagger that does elemental damage.
A Smallish Temple, which needs four triangular stones, one from each altar to enter.
An archaeologist's notebook, which provides hints on which sphere goes into which altar.
Once you have entered the temple, you will fight a Protector Spectre (immune to physical attacks). When you defeat it, it
drop the ancient amulet and a spectre scepter.
MacGuffin - The Palindome:
Open The Palindome and adventure there until you encounter the three different non-combat adventures
that will leave you with the hard rock candy, hard-boiled ostrich egg and photograph of god. You also need a ketchup hound,
dropped from one of the monsters. Find the Drawn Onward adventure and place the items in the following order:
photograph of god, hard rock candy, ketchup hound and hard-boiled ostrich egg. Once this is done, you will be beaten up
and left with "I Love Me, Vol. I". Read it and then head to the Cobb's Knob Laboratory where you will find Mr. Alarm.
Adventure in Whitey's Grove to find a bird rib and some lion oil. Cook them to get a wet stew. Find stunt nuts in the
Palindome then cook the wet stew with the stunt nuts, resulting in a wet stunt nut stew. Return to the Laboratory.
Equip the Mega Gem given to you by Mr. Alarm and return to the Palindome. Pick any of the options to fight Dr. Awkward,
who will drop the Staff of Fats and the Drowsy Sword once defeated.
MacGuffin - Spookyraven Manor:
Open the Spookyraven Manor and unlock The Haunted Ballroom. Adventure here until you get the
We'll All Be Flat encounter. This opens the cellar of the manor. With Lord Spookyraven's spectacles equipped, enter the
cellar. There will be a glyph on the wall, make note of this. Now start collecting bottles of wine by fighting among the
Wine Racks. Pay attention to the item descriptions. You will need to find the bottles of wine with symbols matching those
on the glyph (these symbols are randomized for each player). Once you have the bottles with the appropriate symbols, pour
the bottle matching the top symbol into the goblet, do this again with the bottle matching the left symbol, and then the
one on the right. When done in order and consecutively, the Summoning Chamber will open up. You will now be able to fight
Lord Spookyraven. Once defeated, he will drop the Eye of Ed and Lord Spookyraven's ear trumpet.
The Ancient Buried Pyramid:
Combine the ancient amulet and Eye of Ed. Combine the newly created headpiece of the Staff of Ed to the Staff of Fats to
create the Staff of Ed. Visit the Small Pyramid in The Beach to open The Ancient Buried Pyramid.
Once you've entered the Buried Pyramid, adventure in the Upper Chamber until you find the carved wooden wheel, then start
adventuring in the Middle chamber until you come to the noncombat adventure Wheel in the Pyramid, Keep on Turning that
allows you to place the wheel on a stake and turn it. Tomb ratchets dropped by monsters can also be used in the inventory
to turn the wheel. Turn the wheel until the Lower Chamber picture
shows a room with a basket in the middle of it to the left of an empty room. Adventure in the Lower Chamber to get an
ancient bronze token (you may want to get more than one, just in case). Go back to the Middle Chamber and turn the wheel
again until the Lower Chamber shows a picture of a pile of rocks followed by a room with (what looks like) a small vending
machine in it. Adventure in the Lower Chamber to get an ancient bomb using your tokens. Go back to the Middle Chamber
and turn the wheel again until the Lower Chamber looks like an empty room followed by one filled with a pile of rocks.
Adventure again in the Lower Chamber to use the bomb on the pile of rocks and to open the burial chamber. Here you will
fight Ed the Undying. You will need to defeat him seven times in order to win the Holy MacGuffin. Return to the Council to
receive a handful of confetti as your reward.
Mysterious Island of Mystery War:
Given at level 12, this quest first asks you to begin a war on the island. There are two paths that can be taken for this
part of the quest. You can either side with the Orcish Frat Boys or side with the Hippies (You can try both, but it takes
longer). You will need to adventure at either the Orcish Frat House
to get the Frat Boy Ensemble (Orcish baseball cap, Homoerotic frat-paddle, and Orcish cargo shorts) or the Hippy Camp to
get the Filthy Hippy Disguise (filthy knitted dread sack, filthy corduroys). Equip either set and adventure at the
associated sides area until you have the Frat Warrior Fatigues (beer helmet, distressed denim pants, bejeweled pledge pin)
or the War Hippy Fatigues (reinforced beaded headband, bullet-proof corduroys, round purple sunglasses).
Once you have the Frat Warrior Fatigues, adventure at the Hippy Camp until you come across the 'Blockin' Out the Scenery'
non-combat adventure. Pick 'The Lookout Tower' to start the war and open up several new areas to adventure in.
Alternately, once you have the War Hippy Fatigues adventure at the Orcish Frat House until you come across the
'Fratacombs' non-combat adventure. Pick 'Screw this, head to the roof' to start the war and open up several new areas
to adventure in.
The council now wants you to stop the war. You need to kill all of the hippies and/or frat boys in the battlefield, in
addition to a final boss to end the war. There are 1001 enemies on each side of the battlefield. For each sidequest you
complete, the number of enemies destroyed per fight doubles.
Mysterious Island Arena:
Adventure here as either a Frat Warrior or a Hippy to receive either the rock band flyers or jam band flyers. Use the flyer
against monsters in combat. The higher the level of monster, the less flyers you will need to distribute. When you have
distributed enough flyers, you can return to the Arena to get various temporary status effects.
The Junkyard:
Speak to Yossarian in The Junkyard to get a molybdenum magnet. Talk to him again and he will give you a location in the
Junkyard in which you will need to adventure to find a molybdenum tool. Fight gremlins here and watch their attack messages.
Once they mention a tool in the attack message, use the molybdenum magnet against them to steal the tool and end combat.
Return to Yossarian after finding each tool. Once all the tools have been found (four in total) you will recieve one of the
following items. If a Frat Warrior: a rusty chain necklace, a sawblade shield, or a wrench bracelet. If a Hippy Warrior:
a spark plug earring, a gearbox necklace, or a woven baling wire bracelet.
The Organic Orchard:
Adventure in The Hatching Chamber to find the filthworm hatchling scent gland. Use it to be able to access The Feeding Chamber.
Adventure here to find the filthworm drone scent gland, which opens The Guards' Chamber, where you can find the
filthworm royal guard scent gland, which opens The Filthworm Queen's Chamber, where you can fight the queen filthworm to
get the heart of the filthworm queen. Bring the heart to the Organic Produce Stand to open it back up. You can now return
to the stand to get 4000-5000 meat, which respawns every turnover.
McMillicancuddy's Farm:
Talk to Farmer McMillicancuddy in McMillicancuddy's Farmhouse to begin the quest. Adventure in the Barn until you find
a non-combat adventure which will open up other areas in which to kills ducks. There are three noncombat adventures in total.
Each new area opened must be cleansed of ducks. Once all the ducks have been eliminated, return to McMillicancuddy
Our Lady of Perpetual Indecision:
Talk to the nuns to learn that you will need to recover 100,000 meat from the dirty thieving brigands in The Themthar Hills.
Adventure in the hills to collect the meat. Items/skills/familiars that increase meat drops will come in handy here.
Once you've recovered all the meat, you will be able to restore 1000 HP for free three times a day (if completed as a
Hippy Warrior) or 1000 HP and 1000 MP (if completed as a Frat Warrior).
The Lighthouse:
Talk to the Lighthouse Keeper to begin the sidequest to find five barrels of gunpowder. Adventure at Sonofa Beach to collect
these barrels. It may take a while, as combat adventures where the barrels drop are rare. Combat Frequency boosters can
help here. Return to the lighthouse once you have 5 barrels. From now on, you will be able to collect three free
explosives from the lighthouse every day.
Once you've destroyed the army of a side, you can fight it's end boss.
The Big Wisniewski is the leader of the Hippy side and drops a solid gold bowling ball when defeated. Killing him
turns the Hippy Camp into 'The Hippy Camp (Bombed Back to the Stone Age)'.
The Man is the leader of the Frat side and drops a really dense meat stack when defeated. Killing him turns
The Orcish Frat House into 'The Orcish Frat House (Bombed Back to the Stone Age)'.
Naughty Sorceress (The Final Ultimate Epic Final Conflict):
When you reach level 13 and have completed all previous council quests, the Council of Loathing will open up the final area:
The Lair of the Naughty Sorceress.
To get past the first gate you must use a Tasty Fun Good Rice Candy (found in The Valley Beyond The Orc Chasm) to get
a Sugar Rush. For the next gate, you must use a wussiness potion (from The Deep Fat Friars' Gate), and for the last gate,
you need a Thin Black Candle (Goth Giants in the Giant Castle drop it).
The next location is The Huge Mirror. To get past the mirror, you must "show your true self" by taking all your gear
off, including any items equipped on your familiar. Visiting the mirror again will shatter it, leaving you with a huge
mirror shard.
To pass the Perplexing Door, you will need several keys:
Key
Where to find key
Solution to test
Reward
Boris Key
end of the Daily Dungeon
"fish"
Fish Bowl
Jarlsberg Key
end of the Daily Dungeon
"phish"
fishtank
Sneaky Pete Key
end of the Daily Dungeon
"fsh"
fish hose
Skeleton Key
combine Skeleton Bone and Loose Teeth
bring a ten-leaf clover
stone tablet (Really Evil Rhythm)
Richard's Star Key
using a Star Chart and entering 8 stars and 7 lines
equip a star hat and a star weapon (star crossbow, sword or staff), and have a star starfish as your familiar
*Note that the Balloon Monkey is a bonus and is not required to pass this section.
To pass the Perplexing Odor, you must combine the Fish Hose with a Fish Bowl, and then combine the Hosed Fisbowl with
fishtank to get the Makeshift SCUBA Gear. Equip the gear and revisit the odor to partially activate the Stone Mariachis.
To pass The Stone Mariachis you need: 1) an acoustic guitarrr or a stone banjo/Disco banjo, 2) a stolen accordion or
a Rock and Roll Legend, and 3) a bone rattle or a tambourine. You only need one item for each Mariachi. Completing the
Stone Mariachis will open up a new area to adventure in - The Hedge Maze.
Mariachi
Item required (one of)
Where to acquire item
1st
acoustic guitarrr
Found in the Obligatory Pirates Cove
heavy metal thunderrr guitarrr
Combine an acoustic guitarrr with chrome ore
Disco Banjo
Combine a stone banjo and a disco ball
stone banjo
Combine a big rock and banjo strings
2nd
stolen accordion
Found in the sewer
Rock and Roll Legend
Combine heart of rock and roll and stolen accordion
3rd
bone rattle
Combine a Skeleton Bone and a broken skull
tambourine
Combine tambourine bells and a Gnollish Pie Tin
In The Hedge Maze, battle until a monster drops a hedge maze puzzle. In the puzzle, create a path to the key and
adventure in the Maze again. You will get a hedge maze key. Now create a path out of the Maze in the puzzle and reenter
the Maze. The Sorceress' Tower is now open.
The Sorceress' Tower is a series of six enemies undefeatable by normal combat; you must use special items to kill them.
The order of the enemies is randomly generated and will be different for each player. Here are the solutions:
Enemy
Item used to defeat enemy
Where to get the item
Beer Batter
baseball
Guano Junction
Best-Selling Novelist
plot hole
The Castle in the Clouds in the Sky
Big Meat Golem
meat vortex
The Valley Beyond The Orc Chasm
Bowling Cricket
sonar-in-a-biscuit
Guano Junction
Bronze Chef
leftovers of indeterminate origin
The Haunted Kitchen
Collapsed Mineshaft Golem
stick of dynamite
Distant Lands Dude Ranch Adventure
concert pianist
Knob Goblin firecracker
Outskirts of Cobb's Knob
Darkness
inkwell
Haunted Library
El Diablo
mariachi G-string
South of The Border
Electron Submarine
photoprotoneutron torpedo
The Penultimate Fantasy Airship
Endangered Inflatable White Tiger
pygmy blowgun
The Hidden City
Enraged Cow
barbed-wire fence
Large Donkey Mountain Ski Resort (Shore)
Fancy Bath Slug
fancy bath salts
The Haunted Bathroom
Fickle Finger of F8
razor-sharp can lid
The Haunted Pantry
Flaming Samurai
frigid ninja stars
The Lair of the Ninja Snowmen
Giant Bee
tropical orchid
Tropical Paradise Island Getaway
Giant Fried Egg
black pepper
Using a black picnic basket
Giant Desktop Globe
NG
Combine Lowercase N and Original G
Ice Cube
can of hair spray
Buy from The Demon Market
malevolent crop circle
bronzed locust
The Arid, Extra-Dry Desert
Possessed Pipe-Organ
powdered organs
Use a canopic jar
Pretty Fly
spider web
The Sleazy Back Alley
Tyrannosaurus Tex
chaos butterfly
The Castle In The Clouds In The Sky
Vicious Easel
disease
The "Fun" House
Next is a number logic puzzle unique for each player. The heavy door is locked with a 3 digit code you must
get by solving the puzzle given by the light door. There does not seem to be a universal solution to this other than
working it out yourself.
Here is a good, if slightly long, guide that
can help you through the puzzle.
Alternately, if you want an immediate solution, either
Alpaca's Door Code Solver or
MaxDemian's Door Code Generator will provide it.
Have the huge mirror shard equipped to deflect the energy beam.
Next is your shadow opponent. It is impervious to normal attacks. All you can do is heal, which is the key to this
fight. Red pixel potions are the best healing item in the game and are extremely useful here. Using four red pixel potions
during the battle should do the trick.
You now face two of the sorceress's giant familiars. You will need one of your familiars to act as an "anti-familiar"
to fight against hers. Your familiar must be at least 20 pounds (including any buffs and equipment) to win the fight.
To beat the
Use the
Angry Goat
Mosquito
Mosquito
Sabre-Toothed Lime
Sabre-Toothed Lime
Levitating Potato
Levitating Potato
Barrrnacle
Barrrnacle
Angry Goat
Finally you will face The Naughty Sorceress in combat. She will remove all yours buffs before fighting so don't
bother buffing yourself up. She has three stages. The first two stages are normal combat except for the fact that she
can block your actions some of the time. How often she blocks you actions depends on how many times you have fought her.
The more you fight her, the less she blocks actions and the easier she is. Her final stage requires that a
Wand of Nagamar be equipped. To create a Wand of Nagamar, combine WA (Ruby W and Metallic A) and ND (Lowercase N and
Heavy D) together. Her damage to you in battle is determined by your moxie. Low moxie weakens her attack. The seal clubber
skills Thrust-Smack and Double-Fisted Skull Smashing are both very useful against the NS.
Good items to use in the battle are Furry Suit (reduce her strength in combat) or the Star Garb (make yourself
as powerful as possible). Any damage dealing accessories help greatly here. Flaming talons, a kickback cookbook,
enchanted toothpicks, enchanted brass knuckles, or an acid-squirting flower are all good picks. Damage absorbing items
do not work against her. Some good combat items to use in battle are cola grenades, throwing stars, photoprotoneutron
torpedos, and plot holes. The Disco Bandit skill Ambidextrous Funkslinging is very useful when using combat items.
A Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot is probably the most effective familiar to use, as it can damage, heal and delay the NS.
A Ghost Pickle on a Stick is effective in combat. It will both damage and slow the Sorceress. Dodecapedes are also
excellent damage dealers.
Once you have defeated her, click on the kings prison to free him.
You may now Ascend by clicking on the rift.
Other Quests:
Dr. Hobo's map:
Dr. Hobo's Map is found in the Outskirts Of Cobb's Knob. You need an Asparagus Knife (from the Haunted Pantry), and
must have a Cool Whip (bought from the Market) equipped. Use the map to complete the quest and get Dr. Hobo's scalpel
(35 power, +3 damage).
The Dolphin Kings Map:
This map is found in the Haunted Pantry. Equip a Snorkel bought from The Armory and Leggery and use the Dolphin King's Map
to complete the quest and receive 150 meat and the Dolphin King's crown (35 power, +2 all stats) as a reward.
The Slug Lords Map:
This map is found in the Sleazy Back Alley on The Wrong Side of the Tracks. Equip any item that provides
Stench Resistance (the asshat or the Pine Fresh Air Freshner from the Entryway of the Bat Hole is one) and then use the map to
complete the quest, you will get Pants Of The Slug Lord (35 power, so-so stench resistance) as a reward.
Hidden Temple:
Adventuring in the Spooky Forest will eventually yield a Spooky Temple Map, a Spooky Sapling and some
Spooky-Gro fertilizer. Use the Spooky Temple Map with all three items in your inventory to open the Hidden Temple.
Pretentious Painter's paint, palette, and paintbrush (or Suffering For His Art):
The painter is on The Wrong Side Of The Tracks in The Dirt-Walled Hovel of The Pretentious Artist.
He wants you to find his Pretentious Paint (located in the Sleazy Back Alley), pretentious paintbrush
(found in Outskirts Of Cobb's Knob) and pretentious palette (in the Haunted Pantry). Once you have the items, take them
back to the painter to unlock the ability to get tattoos. You will also get a starter tattoo. See the
tattoo section on how to get the rest of the tattoos.
Once you complete his quest, you will get to keep the pail (30 power helmet) and he will buy rat whiskers from you
for 50 meat each.
Untinker's Screwdriver (or Driven Crazy):
The untinkerer is located on the Right Side Of The Tracks. You must find his Rusty Screwdriver (in the Degrassi Knoll).
If you have ascended under a muscle sign, Innabox will give you the screwdriver instead. Upon completion of the quest,
the untinkerer will disassemble items for you.
The Gourd Tower:
Found in The Right Side of the Tracks, The Captain of the Gourd wants 5 firecrackers (found in The Outskirts of
Cobb's Knob) if you are a Seal Clubber/Turtle Tamer. If you are a Pastamancer/Sauceror, he will want
5 Razor-Sharp Can Lids (from the Haunted Pantry). And if you are a Disco Bandit/Accordian Thief,
he will want Spider Webs (from The Sleazy Back Alley). When you bring the 5 items back, you will receive a
gourd potion (which increases your primary substat by around 35). This quest can be repeated, but the number
of item you need to bring back increases by one each time you complete the quest. After you retrieve the 25th
item in this quest, The Captain will tell you the gourd tower is safe and will stop giving the quest.
The Airship:
When you have planted a Beanstalk and reached level 10, you can adventure in the
The Penultimate Fantasy Airship. Fight here until you collect the four Immaterias and get a S.O.C.K and
a Giant Castle Map. The Castle in the Clouds in the Sky is now open for adventuring.
Giant Castle Map:
Collect a Furry Fur, a Giant Needle and an Awful Poetry Journal from The Castle in the Clouds in the Sky. Make sure it is
the Procrastination Giant's turn to guard the Castle's back door (rotate the wheel in The Castle in the Clouds in the Sky
to achieve this). Use the Giant Castle Map to complete the quest and get the Quantum Egg. Combine the Egg with
the S.O.C.K to get the Intergalactic Rowboat, which opens the The Hole In The Sky for adventuring.
31337 Scroll and the UB3r 31337 HaX0R:
Feed two 334 scrolls (from the Orc Chasm) into a Rampaging Adding Machine to get a 668 Scroll. Combine the newly made
668 Scroll with a 30669 Scroll (also from the Orc Chasm) to make a 31337 Scroll. Use the 31337 Scroll to summon the
UB3r 31337 HaX0R who gives you a stat script (which increases each substat by ~150) and a Hermit Script
(which eliminates the need for Hermit Permits). If you try to make and use another 31337 scroll, you will only get
3-5 worthless gewgaws/trinkets/knickknacks.
Feng Shui:
Adventure in the The Hippy Camp on The Mysterious Island of Mystery until you have the Feng Shui For Big Dumb Idiots,
the Decorative Fountain and the Windchimes. Then just use the Feng Shui For Big Dumb Idiots to complete the quest.
Really Good Feng Shui increases the amount of MP you recover when you rest in your campground by 7. It also
weakens the Mysticality of attackers in PvP.
The Palindome:
Combine two snakehead charrrms (found in The Obligatory Pirate's Cove) to form a Talisman O'Nam. You must have the
Talisman equipped to access the Palindome, which is located in The Nearby Plains.
Hey Deze Map/Pagoda:
Collect a Drab Sonata, Ketchup Hound, Guitar Pick and Elf Farm Raffle Ticket by adventuring in The Palindome.
Get an acoustic guitarrr from the Obligatory Pirate's Cove, a Hey Deze Map from the Friar's Gate, and two
Chrome Ores from the Mine. You will also need a Ten-Leaf Clover from the Hermit. Use the Elf Farm Raffle Ticket
to get the Pagoda Plans (this will use up the ten-leaf clover). Combine a Chrome Ore with the acoustic guitarrr to
get a Heavy Metal Thunderrr Guitarrr, then combine the other Chrome Ore with the Drab Sonata to make a
Heavy Metal Sonata. Now use the Hey Deze Map to get Hey Deze Nuts. Finally, use the Ketchup Hound. You now have
a Pagoda in your campground. It will double the amount of HP and MP you recover when resting and also provide
3 extra adventures a day. Completing this quest also unlocks the Palindrophy trophy.
The Daily Dungeon:
The Daily Dungeon is found in the Dungeon Full of Dungeons in town. It is randomized every day, but is always 10 rooms
long and always has a boris/jarlsberg/sneaky pete related item as a reward in the 10th room. You will often fight normal
monsters, but other obstacles exist. Locked Doors may be opened one of three ways: Lockpick it with the Pick-O-Matic
lockpicks, use a key (consumes a key, but does not cost a turn), or bash it down (can damage you). Other obstacles
with test your stats, if the appropriate stat is high enough, you pass the room. The last kind of obstacle is the
rooms that tests resistance to environmental effects. Examples of this room are the Hot Floor,
Giant Creepy Floating Skull, Sewage Moat or open refrigerator. Equip items that provide resistance to these effects,
or get an Elemental Saucesphere cast on yourself to pass these rooms.
The Dungeons of Doom:
Adventure at The Enormous Greater-Than Sign in The Dungeon Full of Dungeons until you have a plus sign in your possession
and are affected by Teleportitis. Continue adventuring until you encounter an oracle and take a Greater Consultation.
The oracle will tell you to read the plus sign. Do it, and The Enormous Greater-Than Sign will become to stairs to
The Dungeons of Doom.
Once you unlock the Dungeons of Doom, you have a chance to get a wand at the Izchak's Lighting Store adventure.
A wand will allow you to "zap" most items in the game, converting them into similar items.
The encounter will ask you if you want a magic lamp or a cloak. Buy the cloak for 5000 meat.
This will start a battle with a mimic. Defeat the mimic and it will drop a dead mimic. Use the dead mimic to get a wand.
You will get either an aluminum, marble, hexagonal, ebony, pine, or horizontal wand. The name does not matter.
A wand will last for 1-4 zaps (in a day) before it explodes, destroying the wand and slightly damaging the user.
If you only use the wand once a day, the wand will last forever. You can only have one wand per ascension.
Here is a list of what items can be zapped:
Boris's key, Boris's ring, Jarlsberg's earring, Jarlsberg's key, Sneaky Pete's breath spray, Sneaky Pete's key
pr0n chow mein, Knob sausage chow mein, bat wing chow mein
components for outfits
30669 scroll, 33398 scroll, 334 scroll
worthless gewgaw, worthless knick-knack, worthless trinket
Changes booze into other booze of equivalent strength
Changes food into other food of equivalent strength
White picket fence, Barbed wire fence
gum
ruby W, heavy D, Metallic A, Lowercase N, Original G
baconstone, hamethyst, porquoise
potions
chrome ore, linoleum ore, aesbestos ore
cog, spring, sprocket
Knob mushroom, Knoll mushroom, spooky mushroom
spider web, razor-sharp can lid, Knob Goblin firecracker
Decorative Fountain, Feng Shui For Big Dumb Idiots, Windchimes
Penguin skin, Yak skin, Hippo skin
Tiny Plastic Commons
Tiny Plastic Uncommons
Tiny Plastic Rares
Wolf Masks, Furry Pants
cornuthaum, vorpal blade
black pixel, blue pixel, green pixel, red pixel, white pixel
jug-o-magicalness, suntan lotion of moxiousness, etc.
ring of aggravate monster, ring of adornment, ring of cold resistance, ring of conflict, ring of fire resistance, ring of gain strength, ring of increase damage
seal tooth, disco ball, etc.
hemp bracelet, necklace chain, piercing post, ring setting
green-frosted astral cupcake, pink, blue, orange, purle
Fernswarthy's Basement:
Fernswarthy's Basement is found in the Dungeon Full of Dungeons in town. It is an endless dungeon that allows you
to pick a stat to boost every 5 rooms. Every level checks your stats to see if you have enough muscle/moxie/mysticality
to advance to the next level. You can advance farther that you normally could by using food/equipment that temporarily
boosts stats. Items like the potion of temporary gr8ness are excellent for this.
The Haiku Dungeon challenge:
While adventuring in The Haiku Dungeon, you will eventually come across a unique encounter that will ask you three questions.
The key is knowing how a Haiku is structured: three lines with 5, 7 and 5 syllables. So for the first part,
select an option that has 5 syllables in the sentence. For the second select 7, then one with 5 again. Get it correct and
the chat channel "/haiku" will open up for you. You have completed the Most Extreme Haiku Dungeon Challenge.
The Cake-Shaped Arena:
A place where your familiar can fight to gain exp (every battle) and items (every ten battles). There are 4 events.
The amount of experience you win in an event depends on how close you beat your opponent by. Narrowly defeating your
opponent gets you 5 exp whereas crushing your enemy may only give you 1-2 exp. The events are as follows:
Ultimate Cage Match - The Baby Gravy Fairy, Barrrnacle, Blood-Faced Volleyball, Levitating Potato and Hovering Sombrero are weak in this event.
Scavenger Hunt - The Angry Goat, Grue, Sabre-Toothed Lime and MagiMechTech MicroMechaMech are weak at this event.
Obstacle Course - The Cocoabo, Ghuol Whelp, Leprechaun, Ghost Pickle and Clockwork grapefruit are weak at this event
Hide And Seek - The Howling Balloon Monkey, Killer Bee, Mosquito, Spooky Pirate Skeleton, Stab Bat, Star Starfish, Hovering Sombrero and Whirling Maple Leaf are weak at this event.
You can get more arena info here: http://www.subjunctive.net/kol/ArenaMechanics.html Xylpher's KoL Familiar Tool will show you the best usage of the arena for your familiar.
Halloween Special Event:
Wear different costumes Trick-or-Treating to receive candy. As you adventure, you get one of four generic items
(available to all of the costumes) or a costume-specific item. You can get this event on "Porktober 8th" or on Halloween.
The next time the Halloween even will occur is on September 20, 2006.
The four generic adventures that you can encounter with any outfit:
A Suspicious Looking Guy = Rock Pops
Susie, The Arena Mistress = Yummy Tummy bean (3)
The Apathetic Lizardman = Mr. Mediocrebar
The Market Demon = 2-5 Meat
The outfit specific treats:
8-bit finery = Pixellated Candy Heart
Arboreal Raiment = sugar-coated pine cone
Bow Tux = candy cane
Bugbear Disguise = cog, spring, and a sprocket
Cloaca Uniform = Dyspepsi grenade
Clockwork Apparatus = Sugar Cog
Crimbo Duds = fruitcake
Dyspepsi Uniform = Cloaca grenade
eXtreme Cold Weather Gear = Wint-O-Fresh mint (2)
Frat Boy = Any of the four bottled boozes
Furry Suit = Tasty Fun Good rice candy
Filthy Hippy Disguise = herb brownies
Gnauga Hides = Gummi-Gnauga
Hot and Cold Ninja Running Suit = Cold Hots candy
Knob Goblin Elite Guard = Knob Goblin steroids
Knob Goblin Harem Girl = Knob Goblin love potion
Mining Outfit = dwarf bread
OK Lumberjack Outfit = maple syrup
Radio Free Regalia = (Gives nothing)
Star Garb = Senior Mints
Swashbuckling Getup = bottle of rum
Time Trappings = Now and Earlier
Yendorian Finery = candied kobold
The Campground:
The following is a list of objects that can be in your campsite.
Information on how to acquire these can be found in the rest of the guide.
Tent/Cottage/House - Rest here to regain HP. Increases Muscle when attacked. The better the dwelling, the stronger the effect.
Really good Feng Shui - Increase MP when you rest. Lower Mysticality of PvP opponents that attack.
Pagoda - Double HP and MP restored when you rest. Gives 3 extra adventures a day.
Colossal Closet - Store objects here.
Beanbag Chair - Restore MP.
Cheap Toaster - Use to get "toast". Can be used 3 times a day.
Evil Golden Arches - Use to get evil food. Can be used only once a day.
Trophy Case - Store your trophies.
Kingdom of Loathing Certificate of Participation - Reward for completing the Toot Oriole quest.
Bartender-in-the-box - Removes the adventure cost from mixing items.
Chef-in-the-box - Removes the adventure cost from cooking items.
Familiar-Gro™ Terrarium - Required for familiars. Purchased from The Market.
Meat Locker - Protects from meat theft in PvP combat.
Meat Maid - +4 adventures every day.
Clockwork Maid - +8 adventures per day. Replaces the meat maid. Must be supertinkeredSpooky Scarecrow - Reduce Muscle of attackers in PvP.
Meat Golem - Reduces item theft in PvP combat.
Magical Mystical Hippy Stone - Break to enable PvP.
Bouquet of Pretty flowers (up to nine) - Reduces Moxie of attackers in PvP.
White picket fence - Reduce attackers Mysticality and slightly increase MP regeneration when resting. You can have up to 9.
Barbed wire fence - Damages attackers in PvP. You can have up to 9 of these.
Tiny Plastic Figurines:
List of plastic figurines you can collect. You get Series 1 by eating Lucky Surprise Eggs (cook a cocoa egg with a
ten-leaf clover). Series 1C was from the Crimbo '05 advent calendar. They are equipable as accessories.
The letters C, U and R designate Common, Uncommon and Rare.
Name
Effect when equiped
Series 1
tiny plastic disco bandit (1/32, U)
(+2 moxie, +1 muscle)
tiny plastic accordion thief (2/32, U)
(+2 moxie, +1 mysticality)
tiny plastic turtle tamer (3/32, U)
(+2 muscle, +1 mysticality)
tiny plastic seal clubber (4/32, U)
(+2 muscle, +1 moxie)
tiny plastic pastamancer (5/32, U)
(+2 mysticality, +1 muscle)
tiny plastic sauceror (6/32, U)
(+2 mysticality, +1 moxie)
tiny plastic mosquito (7/32, C)
(+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic leprechaun (8/32, C)
(+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic levitating potato (9/32, C)
(+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic angry goat (10/32, C)
(+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic sabre-toothed lime (11/32, C)
(+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic fuzzy dice (12/32, C)
(+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic spooky pirate skeleton (13/32, C)
(+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic barrrnacle (14/32, C)
(+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic howling balloon monkey (15/32, C)
(+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic stab bat (16/32, C)
(+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic grue (17/32, C)
(+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic blood-faced volleyball (18/32, C)
(+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic ghuol whelp (19/32, C)
(+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic baby gravy fairy (20/32, C)
(+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic cocoabo (21/32, C)
(+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic star starfish (22/32, C)
(+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic ghost pickle on a stick (23/32, C)
(+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic killer bee (24/32, C)
(+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic Cheshire bat (25/32, C)
(+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic coffee pixie (26/32, C)
(+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic bitchin' meat car (27/32, U)
(+1 Adventure per day)
tiny plastic hermit (28/32, U)
(+6% Meat from Monsters)
tiny plastic Boris (29/32, R)
(+5 muscle, +3 mysticality, +3 moxie)
tiny plastic Jarlsberg (30/32, R)
(+5 mysticality, +3 muscle, +3 moxie)
tiny plastic Sneaky Pete (31/32, R)
(+5 moxie, +3 muscle, +3 mysticality)
tiny plastic Susie (32/32, R)
(+5 all attributes)
Series 1C
tiny plastic Crimbo elf (1/5, C)
(+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic sweet nutcracker (2/5, C)
(+1 familiar weight)
tiny plastic Crimbo reindeer (3/5, C)
(+1 Adventure per day)
tiny plastic Crimbo wreath (4/5, U)
(Regenerate 1-2 MP per adventure)
tiny plastic Uncle Crimbo (5/5, U)
(+1 all stats)
Tame The Bugbears (or A Bugbear of a Problem):
This quest is given by Mayor Zapruder on the inside of Degrassi Knoll, which can only be accessed if you have
ascended and picked a muscle sign. You need at least 13 points in your primary stat to begin this quest.
The quest requires you to adventure in The Bugbear Pens until you encounter and defeat the Annoying Gravy Fairy.
Return the annoying pitchfork to Mayor Zapruder to complete the quest. You will get to keep the annoying pitchfork
(+5 to Monster Level) as a reward. Completing this quest will open up the Summon a Mushroom Familiar quest.
Summon a Mushroom Familiar:
This quest is given by Mayor Zapruder on the inside of Degrassi Knoll, which can only be accessed if you have
ascended and picked a muscle sign. The quest involves growing special mushrooms (either a warm mushroom, a frozen mushroom
or a pointy mushroom) from the normal mushrooms (Knobb, Knoll and Spooky). You will need to purchase a Mushroom Patch
in the Degrassi Knoll Mushroom Fields for 5,000 Meat to complete this quest.
Some points to keep in mind:
Slots with a spore in them become slots with a mushroom in them the next day (spores grow up).
Slots with mushrooms in them become empty slots the next day (mature mushrooms die).
If a slot has exactly two mushrooms adjacent to it, that spot will grow into a new spore the next day, and the two parent mushrooms will disappear.
For example (M represents a mushroom, S represents a new spore, x is a blank space):
xMx Will become Sxx
Mxx ----------> xSx
xxx xxx
Mating two mushrooms of the same type will create a spore of the parental type.
Mating two mushrooms of differing type will produce a new type of spore as show below:
Example One
The simple method for breeding the mushrooms necessary is as follows, using frozen mushrooms as a goal.
The bold text represents mature, grown mushrooms. The normal text represents spores.
Day 1
Day 2
Day 3
Knoll
Knob
spooky
Knoll
Knoll
Knob
spooky
Knoll
cool
cool
pointy
pointy
Day 4
Day 5
Day 6
cool
cool
pointy
pointy
frozen
frozen
frozen
frozen
Example Two
This plot produces more output, but requires more attention. It will produce 4 flaming mushrooms,
2 cool mushrooms, 2 frozen mushrooms, and 2 stinky mushrooms.
For this to work properly, you must remove the two cool mushrooms indicated with *'s on the fourth day.
The bold text represents mature, grown mushrooms. The normal text represents spores.
Day 1
Day 2
Day 3
spooky
knoll
knob
knob
knoll
spooky
spooky
knoll
knob
knob
knoll
spooky
pointy
cool
warm
cool
cool
warm
cool
pointy
Day 4
Day 5
Day 6
pointy
cool
warm
*cool*
*cool*
warm
cool
pointy
flaming
frozen
flaming
stinky
stinky
flaming
frozen
flaming
flaming
frozen
flaming
stinky
stinky
flaming
frozen
flaming
You will receive a familiar whose type will be based on the type of mushroom you had to grow as a quest reward. The new
area The Spooky Gravy Barrow will also be unlocked.
The Spooky Gravy Barrow:
Mayor Zapruder's third quest requires you to clear out The Spooky Gravy Barrow (you must have a gravy fairy familiar from
the previous quest equipped to access this area). Adventure here until you find an inexplicably glowing rock. The rock
will allow you to enter the cave. Your next obstacle is a door. Find the spooky fairy gravy and small leather glove
then cook these two together to obtain a spooky glove. Equipping the glove allows you to open the door.
Finally, defeat Felonia, Queen of the Spooky Gravy Fairies in combat. She will drop a spooky cosmetics bag and a
spooky bicycle chain. Return to Mayor Zapruder to obtain 6 mushroom fermenting solutions. Quest Complete.
Grey Plague:
As of November 6, 2005, this quest is no longer available in the game.
On Columbus Day (October 12, 2005), Cristobal Colon (#1492) started distributing comfy blankets. This new item made
resting more effective, but had the side effect of giving users the "Grey Plague". Symptoms include coughing, shuddering,
and having grey text in chat. The longer you have the plague, the worse the symptoms. It is thought that messaging other
players will sometimes spread the disease to them.
To cure the plague, acquire either a blood flower (from the Icy Peak), a plastic passion fruit (from the Lemon Party
Slot), or a lovecat tail (found in a questionable taco obtained from South of the Border). Bringing any one of these
items to Doc Galaktik's Medicine Show in town will get you Doc's Miracle Cure, which removes the disease from your system.
The Suspicious-Looking Guy in the Wrong Side of the Tracks will give you a pair of rose-colored glasses, which will make
you appear healthy to yourself, but not actually cure you.
Cola Wars:
This area is only accessible to characters of level 4 and 5.
Enter the Temporal Rift in the plains to access The Nearby Plains in the Distant Past. A new area "A Battlefield"
becomes available to fight at. The other locations are just for show and have no effect.
Possible encounters in The Cola Wars Battlefield:
Some adventures give stats
What is it Good For?
Help the Dyspepsi soldier: Dyspepsi-Cola helmet (30 Power, Damage Absorption +10)
Help the Cloaca soldier: Cloaca-Cola shield (Mysticality +1)
Don't get involved: minor moxie gain
The Effervescent Fray
Listen to the red leader: Cloaca-Cola fatigues (30 Power, Mysticality +3)
Listen to the blue leader: Dyspepsi-Cola shield (Mysticality +1)
Once you get the two new outfits, you can get these items adventuring at the battlefield:
Cola Wars Battlefield (Wearing the Cloaca Uniform):
Cloaca-Cola knapsack (can give 3 Cloaca grenades, c-rations, Cloaca-Cola-issue combat knife or a picture of a dead guy's girlfriend)
Dyspepsi-Cola
Dyspepsi-Cola d-rations
Dyspepsi grenade
Cola Wars Battlefield (Wearing the Dyspepsi Uniform):
Cloaca-Cola
Cloaca-Cola c-rations
Cloaca grenade
Dyspepsi-Cola knapsack (can give 3 Dyspepsi grenades, d-rations, Dyspepsi-Cola-issue canteen or a picture of a dead guy's girlfriend)
Note that if you were present at the time of this event (Oct 27, 05), you got a petrified time. This is the only known way of getting this item (except trading with other players).
The Dyspepsi-Cola-issue canteen improves MP recovery from carbonated drinks.
The Cloaca-Cola-issue combat knife (30 power) restores MP when you do damage with it.
Zombie Plague:
This location no longer in the game.
Yet another temporal rift has opened up, this time in the Council of Loathing. Enter the rift and adventure in town.
Zombie variations of normal monsters appear here (with the same stats and drops) who will sometimes drop a zombie pineal gland.
To complete the quest, take the zombie pineal glands to Doc Galaktik. He will convert the zombie pineal glands into
loaded serum blowguns, which you can use to permanently cure yourself or others against the Gray Plague. After using a
blowgun, you get an empty blowgun.
The Feast of Boris:
On "Boozember 7", your maximum fullness is temporarily raised by 15, effectively doubling the amount of food you can
eat in a day. Cranberries also become more effective. Any consumable made with cranberries will give more adventures
than usual. New monsters also randomly appear around the kingdom.
They drop these items: candied yams, herbal stuffing, tofurkey leg, tofurkey gravy, can-shaped gelatinous cranberry sauce.
You will also be able to get the Three-Tiered Trophy on this day by eating a three-tiered wedding cake.
The next Feast of Boris will occur on September 27, 2006
Crimbo Town 2005:
This location only available during Christmas.
Accessible from The Big Mountains, Crimbo Town has three locations to visit: Uncle Crimbo's Mobile Home, where you can make
toys, The Crimbo cafe, which sells food and drink, and the Crimbo Town Toy Factory, where you can fight striking elves.
The difficulty of the elves scales with your skills. The more Muscle and Moxie you have, the tougher the fights are.
Items dropped: felt, googly eye, length of string, stuffing, toy wheel, wooden block
Items that can be made by Uncle Crimbo:
Top (1 Block + 1 Wheel) - combat item, confuses enemies
Rag Doll (2 Eyes + 3 Stuffing + 2 Felt) +3 Muscle when equipped as an "Off hand item"
Kite (1 String + 1 Felt) - combat item, delays enemy turn
marionette (2 Strings + 2 Eyes + 2 Blocks) +3 Mysticality when equipped as an "Off hand item"
ball (1 Stuffing + 1 Felt) - combat item, makes you retreat when used
sock monkey (2 Eyes + 3 Stuffing + 1 Felt) +3 Moxie when equipped as an "Off hand item"
stuffed doppelshifter (1 Eye + 1 Stuffing) - combat item, has various combat effects
duck-on-a-string (1 String + 2 Eyes + 2 Blocks + 2 Wheels) - 100 power 1-handed weapon, +5 damage, +5% Item Drops
pet rock (1 Eye + 1 Block) - familiar, sits motionless
toy train (2 Strings + 3 Blocks + 6 Wheels) - accessory, +10% dropped meat
yo-yo (1 String + 1 Wheel) - combat item
teddy bear: (2 eyes + 4 stuffing + 2 felt) - familiar
toy soldier (2 Eyes + 3 Blocks) - combat item
doll house (4 Blocks + 3 Felts) - gives 3-4 tiny plastic figures
Zapping the yo-yo turns it into a sleeping snowy owl. None of the other items can be zapped at this time.
Eventually, a Unionize The Elves sign (1h club, 50 power) will drop. Equiping this will allow you to fight reindeer. You can increase the
chance of the sign dropping by using any item that reduces the chance of combat like a ring of conflict or deordorant.
Killing 10 and 100 reindeer will get you two trophies. The reindeer are tough and scale up to
your level, but they drop a large amount of meat. Your muscle and moxie are proportional to their moxie and muscle.
That is, if you have high muscle, the reindeer will have high moxie (and be difficult to hit), if you have high moxie,
the reindeer will have high muscle (and have lots of HP).
Oyster Egg Day:
A recurring event in which "oyster eggs" are hidden around the land. Using eggs will produce a variety of effects.
You must have an oyster basket (purchased from The Market) to find eggs.
The next oyster egg day will occur on July 28, 2006.
Egg Name
Location(s)
Effect
black paisley oyster egg
The Hippy Camp, The Penultimate Fantasy Airship
Egg-stortionary Tactics
black plastic oyster egg
The Obligatory Pirate's Cove
Combat item (steals meat)
black polka-dot oyster egg
The Dungeons of Doom, The Icy Peak
Egg-stortionary Tactics
black striped oyster egg
Cobb's Knob Treasury, Lair of the Ninja Snowmen
Egg-stortionary Tactics
blue paisley oyster egg
The Misspelled Cemetary, The Batrat and Ratbat Burrow
Gain ~30 MP
blue plastic oyster egg
The eXtreme Slope
Combat item (Restore ~45 MP)
blue polka-dot oyster egg
The Valley of Rof L'm Fao, Orcish Frat House
Gain ~30 MP
blue striped oyster egg
Degrassi Knoll
Gain ~30 MP
lavender paisley oyster egg
Outskirts of Cobb's Knob
Gain ~13 Mys and ~13 Mox
lavender plastic oyster egg
Entryway (The Bat Hole), Thugnderdome
Combat item (attacks)
lavender polka-dot oyster egg
The Typical Tavern, South of the Border
Gain ~25 Moxie
lavender striped oyster egg
Cobb's Knob Menagerie, Level 3
Gain ~12 Mus/Mox
mauve paisley oyster egg
Whitey's Grove
Gain ~25 Mys
mauve plastic oyster egg
Cobb's Knob Kitchens, Camp Logging Camp, The Sleazy Back Alley
The Castle in the Clouds in the Sky, The Spooky Gravy Barrow
Combat item (attacks)
puce polka-dot oyster egg
the Haunted Pantry
Gain ~12 Mus/Mox
puce striped oyster egg
The Orcish Frat House (In Disguise), The Palindome
Gain ~25 Mus
red paisley oyster egg
The Spooky Forest
Restore ~35 HP
red plastic oyster egg
Knob Goblin Laboratory, The "Fun" House
Combat item (heals)
red polka-dot oyster egg
Cobb's Knob Harem, Guano Junction
Restore ~35 HP
red striped oyster egg
The Hole in the Sky, Itznotyerzitz Mine (In Disguise)
Restore ~35 HP
yellow paisley oyster egg
The Beanbat Chamber
Egg-headedness
yellow plastic oyster egg
Fernswarthy's Tower, The Hidden Temple
Comabt item (random)
yellow polka-dot oyster egg
The Poker Room
Egg-cellent Vocabulary
yellow striped oyster egg
The Limerick Dungeon
Egg-stra Arm
*Note that most non-combat usable eggs will additionally give 10-15 of a stat when used.
St. Sneaky Pete's Day:
St. Sneaky Pete's Day is KoL's version of Saint Patrick's Day. On this day you able to make green beer (cocktailcraft
ice-cold beer and a ten-leaf clover), which will allow you to exceed the normal drunkeness limits. Once your drunkeness
goes above 25, you will start to get St. Sneaky Pete's Day Stupor adventures when you try to adventure normally.
Adventure until you get a portable corkscrew (30 power weapon) and equip it. Continue adventuring until you get the
Boozehare adventure, which gives you the St. Sneaky Pete's Day goodies basket. The basket provides ~5 oyster eggs,
~5 bottles of alcohol and one fake plastic grass when used. Fake plastic grass is a meatsmithing component for the
Grass Guise outfit. Note that you can also use ! potions to raise your drunkeness by 1-3, and 668 scrolls occasionally
give 10 drunkeness when used.
Previous versions of this event would give you a cheap plastic bottle opener and coloured traffic cones
(orange traffic cone, yellow traffic cone, red traffic cone, green traffic cone, and a blue traffic cone).
Traffic cones are 60 power hats that give +3 moxie and resistance to an element. If you had a female character,
you could get an adventure where you would receive one of: string of blue beads, string of green beads, or
string of red beads. The event on July 21st gave a blue ribbon.
Spanish fly trap:
As you adventure in the The Orcish Frat House, you will encounter an orc who asks you to get 5 spanish flies for him.
To do this, you must first adventure in The Obligatory Pirate's Cove until you get a Spanish fly trap. Then, with the
Spanish fly trap equipped in your off-hand, adventure at The Hippy Camp until you have at least five flies. Return to
The Orcish Frat House and you will be rewarded with one "around the world" drink for every five spanish flies you bring
back. This quest is repeatable.
Guild Halls:
There are three types of Guild Halls, one for each character class. Moxie classes have The Department of Shadowy Arts and Crafts
Muscle classes have The Brotherhood of the Smackdown and Mystical classes have The League of Chef-Magi. You must pass three
trials (simple tests of your characters primary stat) to be able to access the skill trainer, who teaches new
skills for a price. Passing one more trial will open up the Guild Store. Your primary stat must be at
least 6, 14, 18 or 20 for the first, second, third and fourth trials, respectively.
Bitchin' Meat Car:
Visit your Guild Hall's quest giving NPC to receive a Degrassi Knoll shopping list and this quest.
You must first gather a cog, an Empty Meat Tank, some Tires, a spring and a sprocket. Some of these are found inside
Gnollish Toolboxes, which are found in Degrassi Knoll. You need the Sweet Rims, which you get from the Hermit by
trading him a Worthless item. You will also need five Meat Pastes and a Meat Stack (must have 100 meat to make this),
which can be made inside your inventory. Combine the Meat Stack with the Empty Meat Tank to get a Full Meat Tank,
and combine the Tires with the Sweet Rims to get the Dope Wheels. Combine a spring and a sprocket, then combine the
result with a cog to make Cog And Sprocket Assembly. Now combine the Full Meat Tank with the Cog And Sprocket Assembly
to produce a Meat Engine, which you can then combine with the Dope Wheels to get a Bitchin' Meatcar. Return to your
Guild Hall to complete the quest and to gain the ability to adventure at the Shore.
The White Citadel:
Given by the quest NPC in your Guild Hall, you are tasked with finding The White Citadel. You must first adventure at
Whitey's Grove until you are able to access The Road to the White Citadel. Continue adventuring in The Road to the White Citadel
until you get a massive bag of catnip from a hippy, which will allow you to pass the Cheetahs Never Lose adventure.
You also need to get a hang glider, which will allow you to pass the Summer Holiday adventure. This will remove The Road
to the White Citadel area, replacing it with The White Citadel area. Visit The White Citadel with 300 Meat to receive
the White Citadel Satisfaction Satchel. Return to the quest NPC in your guild area and you will get the lucky rabbit's foot
(+7% item and meat drops) as your quest reward.
Doc Galaktik:
If you visit Doc Galaktik's Medicine Show in town when you are at least level 6, you can accept his quest. He tasks you
with finding three types of item: Three swindleblossoms, dropped by Knob Goblin Harem Girls in Cobb's Knob Harem,
three sprigs of fraudwort, dropped by Demoninjas in Deep Fat Friars' Gate, and three bundles of shysterweed, dropped by
grave rober zmobies or grave robers in The Misspelled Cemetary. Once you provide the Doc with the nine items he needs,
he will give you a 40% discount on Curative Nostrums and Fizzy Invigorating Tonics at Doc Galaktik's Medicine Show.
Spookyraven Manor:
Visit The Haunted Pantry until you encounter the 'The Manor in Which You're Accustomed' adventure, which will unlock the
new Spookyraven Manor location. Several monsters here are resistant to physical damage and require elemental damage
to hurt. Three of the locations are freely available for adventuring in, the rest have to be unlocked.
To open the haunted library, adventure in The Haunted Billiards Room until you have a pool cue and a handful of hand chalk.
Equip the pool cue and use the hand chalk, then revisit The Haunted Billiards Room. Once you get the 'Minnesota Incorporeals'
adventure, select 'Let the ghost greak' (picking 'Break' will give you 50 moxie). Next, pick 'Go for a solid' then
'Go for the 8-ball'. You will now have the Spookyraven library key.
Once you have access to The Haunted Library, you are able to open The Haunted Conservatory. Adventure in the library until
you come across a bookcase. Pick 'Read "The Fall of the House of Spookyraven"', then 'Read "Chapter 2: Stephen and Elizabeth"'.
You can now adventure in The Haunted Conservatory to get the 'Spookyraven gallery key'.
To repair the stairs and gain access to 'The Spookyraven Manor, Second Floor', click on the third book from the left on
the top shelf of the bookcase in the 'Take a Look, it's in a Book!' adventure in The Haunted Library. You are now able to
access two new areas in addition to another locked area.
To open The Haunted Ballroom, go to The Haunted Bedroom. Search the top drawer of the wooden nightstand, then search it's
bottom drawer to find the Spookyraven ballroom key.
You can also find Lord Spookyraven's spectacles behind the ornate nightstand in The Haunted Bedroom. When equipped,
they allow you to find a special class specific item under the mahogany nightstand. For Seal Clubbers or Turtle Tamers,
you will find a tattered wolf standard or a tattered snake standard, respectively. For Pastamancers or Saucerors, you will
find a 'English to A. F. U. E. Dictionary', and for Accordion Thieves or Disco Bandits, you will find
bizarre illegible sheet music.
With the tattered wolf standard, adventure in The Haunted Gallery until you get the 'Out in the Garden' adventure. Choose
the first knight, and you will get a new skill: 'Snarl of the Timberwolf'. If you have the tattered snake standard, pick the
second knight, and you will the the 'Spectral Snapper' skill.
Mysticality classes with the English to A. F. U. E. Dictionary will need to adventure in The Haunted Library until they get
the 'Take a Look, it's in a Book!' adventure. Choose the 'Read "Ancient Forbidden Unspeakable Evil, a Love Story"' option,
then 'Read "Chapter 3: Twisted, Curdled, Corrupt Energy and You"'. Pastamancers will get the 'Fearful Fettucini' skill,
while Saucerors will get the 'Scarysauce' skill.
Moxie classes can adventure in The Haunted Ballroom until they get the Curtains adventure, where they should choose
"Investigate the organ". Accordion Thieves will get the 'Dirge of Dreadfulness' skill, and Disco Bandits will get the
'Tango of Terror' skill.
Most of these new skills involve dealing spooky damage to enemies.
This location is only available during December 2006.
Begin by visiting 'A Lonely Crimbo Elf' in The Big Mountains. Go to your campsite and use the Spooky Advent Calendar, this
will give you a chocolate lump (once per ascension) and a random candy. Eat the chocolate lump and sleep in your campsite.
You get a nightmare describing the quest. Rest again. In the place where the lonely Crimbo Elf used to be, there is now
Crimbo Rock. There are three areas of Crimbo Rock, a place to adventure and get items, a place to use those items to
manufacture toys, and a food/drink market.
Adventure in the Simple Tool-Making Cave until you have gathered at least 2 sticks, a stringy sinew, and a big leaf.
Use the Toy-Making Cave to turn these items into fire and a leaf tube. Now combine the fire and leaf tube with meat paste
to get a lit cigar. Use the lit cigar to complete the first phase of the Save Uncle Crimbo! 2006 quest.
Combining a rock and a tooth will get you the Toothsome Rock familiar.
Continue adventuring in Crimbo Rock until you get the 'Check It Out Now' choice adventure. Pick 'Get With The Now' to turn
Crimbo Rock into Crimbotown Right-About-Now. Adventure until you get the spooky frank. Cook the spooky frank with either
some enchanted beans, a hill of beans or a pile of jumping beans to make a plate of franks and beans. Eat the plate to
complete the second phase.
Once you have eaten the plate of franks and beans, either rest in your campsite or adventure in The Spooky Fright Factory
until you meet the Next Sunday A.D.. Pick the 'Move on to the Future' option to open up Crimbotown Not-Too-Distant-Future.
Adventure at 'The Crimborg Collective Factory' until you obtain the flask of peppermint oil. Now cocktailcraft the
flask of peppermint oil and some fermenting powder together to make a flask of peppermint schnapps. Use the
flask of peppermint schnapps to complete the quest and gain access to the time sleigh, which allows you to travel to each
of the three Crimotowns.
Claudes Cake Quest:
Adventure in the Haunted Pantry until you encounter the 'Baker's Dilemma' event. Select "I'll see what I can do" to receive
the unlit birthday cake. Head to the Outskirts of Cobb's Knob to find the 'Knob Goblin BBQ' event and pick "Kiss the chef".
Return to the Haunted Pantry with your newly lit birthday cake. You will be rewarded with a pat-a-cake pendant.
Harold's Hammer Quest:
While adventuring in the Sleazy Back Alley you will encounter the 'Please, Hammer' event. Select "Sure, I'll help" to
accept the quest and get Harold's hammer head and Harold's hammer handle. Combine these two into Harold's hammer and return
to the Sleazy Back Alley to collect a suntan lotion of moxiousness.
Wounded Guard Quest:
Adventure in the Outskirts of Cobb's Knob until you encounter 'When Rocks Attack'. Accept to get 30 meat. Use the meat to
buy a pungent unguent from Doc Galaktik's Medicine Show in Market Square. Return to the Outskirts of Cobb's Knob to
complete the quest, and get a ring of half-assed regeneration.
To use any familiars you must first buy and then use a Familiar-Gro™ Terrarium.
Familiars will stop growing at 20lbs, but can temporarily reach 40+ with items and spells.
Familiars will level up when their number of kills equals the square of their next level. (e.g. 9 kills for level 3)
You can equip familiar specific items which typically increase its level/weight by 5. They can be found by winning in The Cake-Shaped Arena.
For arena info go to the arena section of this guide.
Leprechaun hatchling is fairly difficult to get. Visit the Spooky Forest with a ten-leaf clover to get the bowl
of lucky charms. When you eat the bowl of lucky charms, there is a chance you will receive a leprechaun hatchling.
If you do not get the hatchling, you must get another bowl of lucky charms and try again. When you do get the hatchling
just "use" it to get the familiar. The Leprechaun gives you more meat at the end of battles. Its item is the meat detector.
The easiest familiar to get, the mosquito larvae is found in the spooky forest. Just "use" it to gain the mosquito.
The Mosquito will occasionally drain the enemies hit points and give them to you. Its item is the hypodermic needle.
To get the levitating potato go to the daily dungeon and search the rooms, eventually you will find the potato.
Once you have it, just "use" it. The potato will "trip up your foes". Its item is the many-eyed glasses.
They are the 23rd reward item for adventuring at the Shore. Once acquired just "use" it. It randomly selects one of these effects:
Attack the enemy, attack you, give you 10 meat, give you MP, nothing or trips your opponent.
Its item is the meatcar model.
First of all you need to visit the goatlet and get some sabre teeth. Then you need to go to menagerie level 1
(in the cobbs knob laboratory) or to the palindome and acquire a lime. You then combine the two to get a
sabre toothed lime cub. Then just "use" that. The lime will attack in battle. Its item is the tiny shaker of salt.
The barrrnacle can be acquired by adventuring at the obligatory pirates cove. Once you have it, just "use" it.
The barrrnacle slows the enemy. Its item is the sucky decal.
The spooky pirate skeleton is slightly tricky to make. First, go to the misspelled cemetary and get 8 skeleton bones.
Then go to the obligatory pirates cove and get a pirates pelvis and a sunken chest. Then you must make a pirate skull,
this is done by smart skull + disembodied brain = brainy skull, then brainy skull + eyepatch = pirate skull then
"use" the pirate skull. This will combine all the items you have collected together to get the pirate skeleton.
Then "use" the pirate skeleton in your inventory. The Pirate Skeleton helps in battle. Its item is the blundarrrbus.
Get 4 long skinny balloons from The "Fun" House in the plains. Then combine two to make a balloon helmet
(long skinny balloon + long skinny balloon = balloon helmet). Then long skinny balloon + balloon helmet = balloon sword,
and finally balloon sword + long skinny balloon = balloon monkey. Then "use" the monkey. It will electrocute enemies
and restore your MP when it reaches level 10. Its item is the tiny balloon knife.
For a Stab Bat, you must get a batblade (from the palindome) and 2 bat wings (from the bat cave). Then you must
combine the bat wing with the batblade. Once you've done that you have a one winged stab bat. Then from there
combine the one winged stab bat with another bat wing, and bravo! You have a re-winged stab bat. Attacks in combat,
but can damage you as well. Its item is the shock collar.
To get the blood faced volleyball you must go to the hermit and get a volleyball. Then you must go to the sewer
and get a seal tooth (This may take a while, it may be better to go to the mall). Then you must use the seal tooth
(to get a bloody hand) and then use the volleyball. This should make a blood faced volleyball. The volleyball
increases the number of stat points you gain at the end of battle. Its item is the palm-frond toupee.
To get the baby gravy fairy you must cook a knob mushroom (can be found in knob goblin kitchens) with
a fairy gravy (found in haiku dungeon) to get a pregnant mushroom. The Gravy Fairy will get you more items at
the end of battle. Its item is the eye-pod.
The ghuol whelp is easy to get. First go to the misspelled cemetary and find a ghuol egg, then go to
the spooky forest and find some Spooky-Gro fertilizer and then combine the two. The Ghuol Whelp eats the corpses of
defeated enemies to replenish your health and MP. Its item is the tiny knife and fork.
Created by cooking 4 cocoa eggshell fragments together into two large cocoa eggshell fragments and then into a cocoa egg.
Use the cocoa egg. The Cocoabo will occasionally recover HP/MP, do damage, confuse the enemy or scavenge meat.
Its item is the chocolate spurs.
Mix brine and vinegar together to make briney vinegar, which you then mix with dill to make dill brine. Mix a
cucumber and the dill brine to make a spectral pickle, and cook the spectral pickle with a Skewer to make
a Ghost Pickle On a Stick. In combat, the pickle uses a poking attack to do damage. The Ghost pickle also has
a acid attack, which lowers the level of its target. Its item is the skewer-mounted razor blade. The ingredients for
this familiar spawn only in The Spectral Pickle Factory, which appears very rarely.
Found in the The Dungeons of Doom in town. It will attack enemies in battle. Occasionally the baby killer bee feeds you
royal jelly, increasing your stats while subtracting one HP. Its item is the brass stinger.
You must buy a hand turkey outline for one Mr. Accessory from the Mr. Store. It attacks like a goat and increases
the amount of meat you find after a battle. Its item is the candied yam pinky ring.
You must buy a coffee sprite from the Mr. Store for 2 Mr. Accessories to get this familiar. It increases
the amount of meat and items you find. Its item is the miniature espresso maker.
Must buy a Cheshire Bitten from the Mr. Store. It increases the amount of meat and stat points you get from a
battle. Its item is the smile-sharpening stone.
Buy a crimbo elfling from the Mr. Store. Will attack like a lime and will also increase the chance of getting
items from a battle. Its item is the dental pliers. It is December's Familiar-of-the-Month.
Buy an orphan baby yeti from the Mr. Store. It deals damage and drains MP. Its item is the penguin-smacking club.
It is the January Familiar-of-the-Month.
Buy a silk garter snake from the Mr. Store. It will fight, entangle and steal meat from your enemies.
Its item is the black velvet choker. It is February's Monthly Special.
Use an emo roe. The emo roe appeared at the Mr. Store on April 1 only, as an April Fool's joke.
It slows and trips your enemies like the barrrnacle and potato do. Its item is the gazing shoes.
Use a personal raindrop. It has several random effects such as: attacking the enemy, attack you, restoring HP, restoring MP, or buffing stats.
Its item is the rainbow tie.
Combine a poultrygeist and an irate sombrero together. Use the resulting hovering sombrero. Both these items are
available from the South of the Border location. It acts similarly to a volleyball, increasing
stat gains from combat. Its item is the tiny maracas.
Use a deflated inflatable dodecapede purchased from the Mr. Store in June. Will attack in combat, but will become less
powerfull as it gets bigger. Its item is the toy six-seater hovercraft. It is Junes Familiar-of-the-Month.
Combine two leaflets to form a leaf. Then combine the leaf with maple syrup. Use the resulting maple leaf to get the
familiar. All the components required are available in Little Canadia. It attacks and restores MP. It's item is the
tiny Mountie hat.
Use the supertinkerer to combine the clockwork spine, clockwork claws and clockwork key together to form a deactivated MicroMechaMech.
See the Supertinkerers section for more info. It attacks your enemies. Its item is the targeting chip.
Cook the clockwork endoskeleton and grapefruit together to form an unwound clockwork grapefruit. It attacks (might have
other abilities). It's item is the false eyelashes.
Use the pregnant frozen mushroom given to you by Mayor Zapruder as reward for the Summon a Mushroom Familiar quest.
It will attack enemies and increase item drops by 2.5% per pound. Its item is the iced-out bling, which is not available
at the arena. To acquire this familars item, you need to complete Mayor Zapruders quest at least three times to get all the
Gravy fairy familiars. Once you have all three familiars, completing Mayor Zapruders quest yet again will give you a
Gravy fairy familiar item.
Use the pregnant stinky mushroom given to you by Mayor Zapruder as reward for the Summon a Mushroom Familiar quest.
It will attack enemies and increase item drops by 2.5% per pound. Its item is the limburger biker boots, which is not
available at the arena. To acquire this familars item, you need to complete Mayor Zapruders quest at least three times to get all the
Gravy fairy familiars. Once you have all three familiars, completing Mayor Zapruders quest yet again will give you a
Gravy fairy familiar item.
Use the pregnant flaming mushroom given to you by Mayor Zapruder as reward for the Summon a Mushroom Familiar quest.
It will attack enemies, increase item drops by 2.5% per pound and occasionally produce mushrooms. Its item is the
flaming glowsticks, which is not available at the arena. To acquire this familars item, you need to complete Mayor
Zapruders quest at least three times to get all the Gravy fairy familiars. Once you have all three familiars,
completing Mayor Zapruders quest yet again will give you a Gravy fairy familiar item.
Purchased from the Mr. Store. Increases the ammount of stats and items you get after a battle but consumes MP doing it.
Its item is the tiny nose-bone fetish, which reduces its MP cost by 2-4. It is augusts familiar of the month.
Purchase a calm attention-deficit demon from the Mr. Store. It increases the drop rate of meat and items from monsters.
Its item is the attention spanner.
Purchase a miniscule temporal rip from the Mr. Store. It will disrupt and slow enemies during combat. Occasionally gives
extra adventures. Its item is 1.21 jigawatts.
Have Uncle Crimbo combine an eye and a block to create a pet rock. It sits motionless.
It does not participate in the Arena. In short, it does nothing. You can obtain its item, the pet rock "Snooty" disguise,
by using the Summon Hilarious Objects skill.
Have Uncle Crimbo combine 2 eyes, 4 stuffings and 2 felts into a teddy bear.
It will sometimes jump in front of attacks, blocking them. However, each attack it blocks appears to reduce its experience
by one point. It is thought that the bear will only block attacks when its experience level is greater the damage done.
Its item is the teddy bear sewing kit.
You first need to combine a clockwork sphere, an enchanted eyepatch, a zombie pineal gland, a glowing red eye, and a
cold ninja mask together to make a ninja pirate zombie robot head. Then collect: a clockwork spine, a cheap toaster,
four pine tars, eight skeleton bones, a clockwork claw, a Chest of the Bonerdagon, two spiked femurs, two
disembodied brains, two clockwork sheets, frigid ninja stars, teeny-tiny ninja stars, a star throwing star, an
icy-hot katana and a Blundarrrbus. Once you have collected these items, use the ninja pirate zombie robot head and the
Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot will assemble itself.
This familiar restores HP/MP, attacks, stuns, collects meat and sometimes gives toast. Its item is the rhesus monkey.
Cook a sleazy fairy gravy (cook pr0n legs and fairy gravy) and an oily golden mushroom to get a
pregnant oily golden mushroom. To get an oily golden mushroom, You must trade a
gloomy black mushroom to A Suspicious-Looking Guy on The Wrong Side of the Tracks.
Increases item drops and does sleaze damage. Its item is the hot pink lipstick, which drops in the Sleezy Back Alley
when you have the sleazy gravy fairy as your familiar.
Use a pregnant gloomy black mushroom. Increases item drops and does damage. Its item is the miniature carton
of clove cigarettes. To get the clove cigarettes, you must defeat Felonia, Queen of the Spooky Gravy Fairies, with
a Spooky Gravy Fairy as your familiar. To get a pregnant gloomy black mushroom you must cook a spooky fairy gravy and
a gloomy black mushroom. Gloomy black mushroom must be grown in the mushroom farms. Here is an example plot:
The breeding of frozen mushrooms and spooky mushrooms into a gloomy black mushroom will only occur when both moons are completely dark.
Grown frozen mushrooms and spooky mushrooms will not mate until the moons are dark. Before then they will just sit there.
According to this site, June 17 is the next day during which both moons will be dark.
On day four, the two warm mushrooms indicated with *'s must be removed.
On day five, all but two frozen spores must be removed, and three spooky spores must be planted.